Jack Faulkner
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faulknercantsleep.bsky.social
Jack Faulkner
@faulknercantsleep.bsky.social
I like small wooden boats and I'm writing a book about food in schools/restaurants.

I block people with reckless abandon.
Funnily billionaires and neoliberalism are causing me to decide to move to (my wife's home country) Sweden because we can't afford things like childcare here and life is more comfortable and convenient there.
Do all multimillionaires dress like a lemon top from Redcar?
April 5, 2025 at 12:33 PM
Will Carling
Harrison Ford
FKA Twigs
Gordon Ramsay
Cleopatra
List five famous people you’ve met, but one is a lie.

1. Piers Brosnan
2. Princess Margaret
3. Bill Beaumont
4. Phil Lynott
5. Simon Rogan
List five famous people you’ve met, but one is a lie.

1. Tré Cool
2. Kenny Dalglish
3. David Crosby
4. Peter Capaldi
5. Irvine Welsh
April 5, 2025 at 12:27 PM
They sound awful.
The non-doms who came to the UK to save tax and love living here, are moving to Italy, which they don’t like and fear the food, because they don’t want to pay more tax on their global income bit.ly/4jcE7cK the UK they say will lose their lavish spending and investment
‘Rachel Reeves is making us move to Italy’
Ann Kaplan Mulholland and her husband are worth ‘half a billion’, but she says the changes to non-dom rules have left them with ‘no choice’
bit.ly
April 5, 2025 at 8:37 AM
Say what you like about Biden but he's a Seamus Heaney fan and Amanda Gorman read a beautiful poem and his inauguration.
jarring lesson of the past decade is that the genuinely famous talents, your beyonces, mark ruffalos etc have zero political clout, and it's the declining career second raters with legal issues that have the juice
I got nothing, y'all.
April 2, 2025 at 1:47 PM
Reposted by Jack Faulkner
Starmer’s plan to show Adolescence in schools is nonsense. Why is the PM asking teenagers to ‘learn’ about their own experiences when he is proposing absolutely nothing by way of solutions to the problems that young people have no capacity to fix and he is the FUCKING PRINE MINISTER
April 1, 2025 at 7:45 PM
I'm going to block a pro-israel person. I resent that they might garner a brief moment of satisfaction from this but this isn't twitter and I don't have the time.
March 30, 2025 at 9:56 PM
Weird.
Nope. Neither do I entertain Jehovah's Witnesses; I learned to scare those door-knockers off at a young age by reading Classics & reciting the origin stories of demigods at them like Orion, Perseus & Hercules. Their faces went delightfully pale when I drew comparisons with the divine birth of Jesus.
March 30, 2025 at 5:54 PM
If it's Eid tomorrow I'll cook for about 60 people. If it's today I'll cook for 176 people.

I wish a happy Eid Mubarak for all who celebrate but fingers crossed for. Quiet Monday.
March 30, 2025 at 5:28 PM
March 30, 2025 at 3:52 PM
Your regular reminder that a good deal of suffragettes joined the British Union of Fascists.
The 'impartial' Alice Sullivan saying Trump is right about trans people
March 30, 2025 at 10:18 AM
He's going to get that down his top and regret his choice.
Speaking of horrifying (?) ballpark food, have you seen the St. Louis Cardinals Busch Stadium Slinger Dog? It is an all-beef hot dog topped with hash browns, taco meat & two sunny-side-up fried eggs.
March 30, 2025 at 9:18 AM
I'm really unsure. Why is drinking from a hose, a flex? What is this trope about? It's just stupid.
March 28, 2025 at 5:14 PM
There's a burst water main in two or three points of my five mile commute. All the fucking time. I hate Thames Water.
Thames Water was privatised in 1989 with no debt. Since then it’s racked up £14.7 billion in debt at the same time as paying out £10.4 billion to its shareholders. If that's not a scam, I don't know what is! #OurWaterOurWay
March 28, 2025 at 5:11 PM
Pretty cool my brother is losing £200 or so a month. Hope the Duke of Westminster and the Hindujas are ok!
March 28, 2025 at 5:05 PM
I think I'm being very good about the fact that a few members of my family and a close friend were Musk fans and I've not pointed out that I was always right and I've only called them out a bit.

My humility knows no bounds.
March 28, 2025 at 5:03 PM
AI is bad. It's only bad and the good things are few. Here's a picture I made with an elk in a sausage bistro.
March 27, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Richmond and Stoke Newington.

#London is beautiful in the spring. All year round to be fair.
March 27, 2025 at 4:54 PM
As a chef who works in Primary school, I've nothing left to say about this dickhead government.
Labour have leaked they might scrap free school meals for infants & free period products for girls in schools

Yes Lab might be suggesting these things to make what they actually do more palatable, but if thats the case is this fearmongering the grown up politics we were promised
March 24, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Evergreen.
March 24, 2025 at 10:54 AM
Starmer watching Adolescence is one thing. The government is so resistant to change it's as valuable as a Labrador talking about marine biology.
March 22, 2025 at 9:08 AM
Stoke Newington is having a Golden Age. Like Baghdad or Paris.
17. What do you love about where you live?
March 22, 2025 at 7:33 AM
Reposted by Jack Faulkner
PIP is a “passport” allowing claimants and carers to qualify for other benefits and services, including carer’s allowance and council tax reductions. This means the government restricting PIP will also restrict access to thousands of pounds of other vital support.
March 20, 2025 at 10:59 AM
I nearly signed off an email with:

it's not me. I work with idiots hell bent on inefficiency.
Best Regards,
Jack.
March 20, 2025 at 11:49 AM
Thankfully the Prime Minister wears a red tie.
March 19, 2025 at 11:19 AM