Dave Lifton
@dslifton.bsky.social
Chicago-based writer, editor and tour guide. A cipher, wrapped in an enigma, smothered in secret sauce. Kummerspeck. Perfect teeth, nice smell, a class act all the way. #LifStrong, my friends.
Fucking quitter.
BREAKING: Marjorie Taylor Greene says she's resigning from Congress — effective January 5, 2026.
November 22, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Fucking quitter.
“When my wife told me she’d never been wet down there, I didn’t realize it was my responsibility to get her there.”
Ben Shapiro: “When the president said deport all the illegal immigrants, I never thought that he meant that literally”
November 19, 2025 at 1:00 AM
“When my wife told me she’d never been wet down there, I didn’t realize it was my responsibility to get her there.”
Reposted by Dave Lifton
Quiet, Piggy.
Mike Johnson's final words during a press conference where he announces the Epstein coverup will not only continue but deepen: "They're trying to attack President Trump. That's it."
November 18, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Quiet, Piggy.
Watch him deny that he's seen the photos.
Mike Johnson: "Democrats are trying to use the Epstein matter as a political weapon to distract from their own party's failures. In a desperate attempt, they're trying to somehow tie President Trump to the scandal. President Trump has nothing to do with it. He said himself he has nothing to hide."
November 18, 2025 at 3:58 PM
Watch him deny that he's seen the photos.
Tonight's Monday Night Football game is Cowboys vs. Raiders, because the NFL wants to believe it's 1978.
November 18, 2025 at 1:18 AM
Tonight's Monday Night Football game is Cowboys vs. Raiders, because the NFL wants to believe it's 1978.
It didn't even get to the performance of "Puttin' on the Ritz."
Russia presented its human-like AI robot. It fell down as it walked onto the stage.
November 11, 2025 at 9:32 PM
It didn't even get to the performance of "Puttin' on the Ritz."
I recommend having a Jewish mother.
I wonder if I can get a group of people in my life to stand around me and say stuff like this.
Pirro: "Mr President, there is in this room a group of people who love you, who believe in you, and who are so proud to be in this Oval Office and to be part of this amazing day because you have changed the course of America."
November 11, 2025 at 1:45 PM
I recommend having a Jewish mother.
Big, tough, manly men can't handle a little snow. Fucking wimps.
News: Feds are said to be on their way out of Chicago in the near future. Via @jmetr22b.bsky.social and me www.chicagotribune.com/2025/11/10/f...
Federal Border Patrol Chief Gregory Bovino and agents said to be leaving Chicago, sources say
Cmdr. Gregory Bovino was expected to depart Chicago within days, while most Border Patrol agents under this command would soon be redeployed elsewhere, three sources told the Tribune Monday.
www.chicagotribune.com
November 11, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Big, tough, manly men can't handle a little snow. Fucking wimps.
"My condolences on your loss. Here. Get high."
Edible Arrangements' parent company is expanding into another flower-related category — THC — as the U.S. market for intoxicating hemp beverages booms.
“It felt like a natural next step for us,” said CEO Somia Farid Silber. “People ask about edibles in our stores all the time.”
“It felt like a natural next step for us,” said CEO Somia Farid Silber. “People ask about edibles in our stores all the time.”
November 11, 2025 at 2:22 AM
"My condolences on your loss. Here. Get high."
Aikman just said that Barkley found the “backside hole.” Obligatory joke about @jefito.com’s mom.
November 11, 2025 at 1:32 AM
Aikman just said that Barkley found the “backside hole.” Obligatory joke about @jefito.com’s mom.
People who throw and attend "Great Gatsby" parties apparently don't know how the book or era ended.
November 5, 2025 at 4:00 PM
People who throw and attend "Great Gatsby" parties apparently don't know how the book or era ended.
Reposted by Dave Lifton
Dick Cheney pushed America to embrace torture and extrajudicial imprisonment, and normalized using Federal power to attack political enemies. The modern Republican party sits directly upon the overtly partisan, anti-truth, anti-law structures he built. He was a terrible, destructive VP.
Bye Dick.
Bye Dick.
November 4, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Dick Cheney pushed America to embrace torture and extrajudicial imprisonment, and normalized using Federal power to attack political enemies. The modern Republican party sits directly upon the overtly partisan, anti-truth, anti-law structures he built. He was a terrible, destructive VP.
Bye Dick.
Bye Dick.
Reposted by Dave Lifton
Not sure how many Cheney obits will mention this murderous legacy of his.
Post-9/11 wars have contributed to some 4.5 million deaths, report suggests
Researchers attempt to calculate the number of deaths attributable to the war on terrorism, across Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq, Syria, Libya, Somalia and Yemen.
www.washingtonpost.com
November 4, 2025 at 2:04 PM
Not sure how many Cheney obits will mention this murderous legacy of his.
During Cheney's tenure as Secretary of Defense, he closed a bunch of military bases due to the end of the Cold War. They were all in Democratic districts because he knew it would negatively impact their economy and therefore hurt the Dems electorally.
November 4, 2025 at 1:26 PM
During Cheney's tenure as Secretary of Defense, he closed a bunch of military bases due to the end of the Cold War. They were all in Democratic districts because he knew it would negatively impact their economy and therefore hurt the Dems electorally.
Reposted by Dave Lifton
I know -- another Substack? If you're so inclined, here is my first post: open.substack.com/pub/billjano...
I Guess There’s Just a Meanness in This World
Nebraska, Highway Patrolman, and the Tenor of the Times
open.substack.com
October 24, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I know -- another Substack? If you're so inclined, here is my first post: open.substack.com/pub/billjano...
“Yes, I received the thing I asked you to fix and send. However, I’m not at my desk right now, but 10 feet away on my couch. I will get to it as soon as I am done dicking around on my phone.”
October 24, 2025 at 2:44 PM
“Yes, I received the thing I asked you to fix and send. However, I’m not at my desk right now, but 10 feet away on my couch. I will get to it as soon as I am done dicking around on my phone.”
I can't wait until he refuses to pay them.
Construction workers involved in the demolition of the East Wing of the White House have signed non-disclosure agreements and are not permitted to speak to the press.
Trump Gags White House Wrecking Crews as Backlash Mounts
Construction workers at the White House have said they aren’t allowed to speak to press.
trib.al
October 24, 2025 at 1:08 PM
I can't wait until he refuses to pay them.
My city.
October 24, 2025 at 2:23 AM
My city.
Today, the latest installment of "Very Rich, Very Stupid People Never Learn From Previous Attempts to Create Multimedia Conglomerates."
Breaking news: Warner Bros. Discovery, the parent company of CNN and HBO, announced that it’s open to a sale, leaving its news and streaming subsidiaries’ futures uncertain.
CNN’s future at stake as owner Warner Bros. Discovery seeks sale
Paramount Skydance CEO David Ellison has reportedly expressed interest, a sale that would place CNN and CBS, two legacy news brands, under the parent company.
wapo.st
October 21, 2025 at 3:01 PM
Today, the latest installment of "Very Rich, Very Stupid People Never Learn From Previous Attempts to Create Multimedia Conglomerates."
Finishing the job the British started on Aug. 24, 1814.
American institutions don't crumble. But they can be destroyed.
October 21, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Finishing the job the British started on Aug. 24, 1814.
Sigh, but it needs to be done.
CTA is raising fares by 25 cents per ride as fiscal cliff looms. blockclubchi.co/48zI6OJ
October 14, 2025 at 5:09 PM
Sigh, but it needs to be done.
This was literally also Charles Manson's intent.
one of the reasons they're so mad at "no kings" is that they thought they were going to get a different kind of protest. they *want* the black bloc to be out there fighting with the cops. those are the images they've been trying to generate from "go." instead--
newrepublic.com/article/2016...
newrepublic.com/article/2016...
MAGA Rage at “No Kings” Boils Over—and It Quickly Backfires on Trump
As Trump allies smear the coming protests, a good writer on MAGA skewers the absurdity of these attacks on large swaths of Americans—and explains why our best recourse will be to turn out in force.
newrepublic.com
October 14, 2025 at 2:49 PM
This was literally also Charles Manson's intent.
Reposted by Dave Lifton
Imagine if a woman president went off about every picture of herself she didn’t like. “Hysterical.” “Emotional.” “PMSing.” “Petty bitch.”
October 14, 2025 at 11:40 AM
Imagine if a woman president went off about every picture of herself she didn’t like. “Hysterical.” “Emotional.” “PMSing.” “Petty bitch.”
A reminder that WGN is owned by Nexstar, so they got what they wanted.
A WGN-TV video editor and producer was roughly detained by two Border Patrol agents on Friday morning during a highly visible rush hour enforcement action in Lincoln Square.
WGN-TV producer detained during ICE enforcement action in Lincoln Square
A WGN-TV video editor and producer was roughly detained by two Border Patrol agents on Friday morning during a highly visible rush hour enforcement action in Lincoln Square.
trib.al
October 11, 2025 at 12:54 AM
A reminder that WGN is owned by Nexstar, so they got what they wanted.