Reposted by Dog Shits
Crazy Taxi was such a good concept for a game. It’s all in the title. You’re mentally ill, and you own a taxi. Sign me up.
November 29, 2024 at 5:35 AM
Crazy Taxi was such a good concept for a game. It’s all in the title. You’re mentally ill, and you own a taxi. Sign me up.
Reposted by Dog Shits
they should make video games so that they listen through your mic for the sound of a beer opening and when it detects it your character in the game will also have a beer in their hand
November 26, 2024 at 11:07 AM
they should make video games so that they listen through your mic for the sound of a beer opening and when it detects it your character in the game will also have a beer in their hand
Reposted by Dog Shits
all the twitch employees ive ever met have been wonderful people BUT back when twitch was still "justin .tv" i was riding bart into 24th and mission and a guy in a justin .tv shirt had a fedora on and a hole was cut out of the back of the fedora and his ponytail was sticking out of it
November 29, 2024 at 4:31 AM
all the twitch employees ive ever met have been wonderful people BUT back when twitch was still "justin .tv" i was riding bart into 24th and mission and a guy in a justin .tv shirt had a fedora on and a hole was cut out of the back of the fedora and his ponytail was sticking out of it
Reposted by Dog Shits
flushing a lit cigar down the toilet as a gift to the boys down at the sewage plant
November 22, 2024 at 7:14 AM
flushing a lit cigar down the toilet as a gift to the boys down at the sewage plant
Reposted by Dog Shits
I stopped watching TV when it occurred to me that none of the characters has bothered to see a single episode of my life
November 19, 2024 at 12:44 AM
I stopped watching TV when it occurred to me that none of the characters has bothered to see a single episode of my life
Reposted by Dog Shits
my grandparents FOUGHT
so my parents could MARCH
so I could POST ONLINE
so my children could be free 🇺🇸
so my parents could MARCH
so I could POST ONLINE
so my children could be free 🇺🇸
November 19, 2024 at 12:55 AM
my grandparents FOUGHT
so my parents could MARCH
so I could POST ONLINE
so my children could be free 🇺🇸
so my parents could MARCH
so I could POST ONLINE
so my children could be free 🇺🇸
Reposted by Dog Shits
ME: Do you ever get sad trying to remember the smell of the house you grew up in?
DRIVE THRU SPEAKER: So that's one Diet Coke, no ice?
DRIVE THRU SPEAKER: So that's one Diet Coke, no ice?
November 18, 2024 at 4:45 AM
ME: Do you ever get sad trying to remember the smell of the house you grew up in?
DRIVE THRU SPEAKER: So that's one Diet Coke, no ice?
DRIVE THRU SPEAKER: So that's one Diet Coke, no ice?
Reposted by Dog Shits
"My Nightmare"
i am white water rafting and a big turd flew up into the air like a fish and landed in the raft
"My Nightmare"
i am white water rafting and a big turd flew up into the air like a fish and landed in the raft
"My Nightmare"
November 18, 2024 at 3:53 AM
"My Nightmare"
i am white water rafting and a big turd flew up into the air like a fish and landed in the raft
"My Nightmare"
i am white water rafting and a big turd flew up into the air like a fish and landed in the raft
"My Nightmare"
Reposted by Dog Shits
(inventing Kirby) He is a testicle. An insatiable, breathing testicle. And his main enemy, it goes without saying, is the exact opposite: a penguin.
November 18, 2024 at 7:26 AM
(inventing Kirby) He is a testicle. An insatiable, breathing testicle. And his main enemy, it goes without saying, is the exact opposite: a penguin.
Reposted by Dog Shits
Telling my Betterhelp therapist I have a specific plan for buying all the crickets at PetSmart and eating them as punishment for a sin I can't even confess to her and she accidentally unmutes to reveal she's concurrently in a shoot out with police from the driver seat of her full UberXL.
November 15, 2024 at 2:47 PM
Telling my Betterhelp therapist I have a specific plan for buying all the crickets at PetSmart and eating them as punishment for a sin I can't even confess to her and she accidentally unmutes to reveal she's concurrently in a shoot out with police from the driver seat of her full UberXL.
Reposted by Dog Shits
ME: … What do you mean?
NPR: It says quote, “I was sucking penises down at the bayou and a fly caught in my mouth. I spat out the fly.”
ME: You’re taking that out of context.
NPR: Well, that’s chapter 16. I mean, that’s all of chapter 16—just those two lines.
ME: Right, so what’s your point?
NPR: It says quote, “I was sucking penises down at the bayou and a fly caught in my mouth. I spat out the fly.”
ME: You’re taking that out of context.
NPR: Well, that’s chapter 16. I mean, that’s all of chapter 16—just those two lines.
ME: Right, so what’s your point?
October 23, 2024 at 8:50 PM
ME: … What do you mean?
NPR: It says quote, “I was sucking penises down at the bayou and a fly caught in my mouth. I spat out the fly.”
ME: You’re taking that out of context.
NPR: Well, that’s chapter 16. I mean, that’s all of chapter 16—just those two lines.
ME: Right, so what’s your point?
NPR: It says quote, “I was sucking penises down at the bayou and a fly caught in my mouth. I spat out the fly.”
ME: You’re taking that out of context.
NPR: Well, that’s chapter 16. I mean, that’s all of chapter 16—just those two lines.
ME: Right, so what’s your point?
My boss knows not to fuck with me when I’m on my apps. I’m in garageband right now when I should be adding product notes
November 15, 2024 at 3:01 PM
My boss knows not to fuck with me when I’m on my apps. I’m in garageband right now when I should be adding product notes
Reposted by Dog Shits
ordered some pad thai from the place that gave me serious diarrhea last time and it was really fuckin good. but now i have diarrhea
November 15, 2024 at 5:28 AM
ordered some pad thai from the place that gave me serious diarrhea last time and it was really fuckin good. but now i have diarrhea
I’m skeeting. This is skeeting now
November 15, 2024 at 2:30 AM
I’m skeeting. This is skeeting now
Reposted by Dog Shits
It's a shame ejaculation is 3-4 pathetic squirts instead of what it should be: one superdense pearl of sperm. And it's impossibly hot. You need those huge blacksmith's gloves to handle it, and long tongs. If you drop it in a toilet it turns all the water to steam and immediately shatters the bowl.
November 15, 2024 at 2:12 AM
It's a shame ejaculation is 3-4 pathetic squirts instead of what it should be: one superdense pearl of sperm. And it's impossibly hot. You need those huge blacksmith's gloves to handle it, and long tongs. If you drop it in a toilet it turns all the water to steam and immediately shatters the bowl.
Reposted by Dog Shits
going into the movie theater with a bulky leather jacket with one sleeve pinned up like ive got one arm, and once i sit down i slide a deli container brimming with cabbage soup out of the pinned sleeve and pop the lid and it instantly smells like fart within a 6 seat radius of me
November 15, 2024 at 2:11 AM
going into the movie theater with a bulky leather jacket with one sleeve pinned up like ive got one arm, and once i sit down i slide a deli container brimming with cabbage soup out of the pinned sleeve and pop the lid and it instantly smells like fart within a 6 seat radius of me
Can we all agree that the black keys suck ass
November 15, 2024 at 1:06 AM
Can we all agree that the black keys suck ass
Feel free to ask me questions. I will answer any question to the best of my knowledge
November 14, 2024 at 11:59 PM
Feel free to ask me questions. I will answer any question to the best of my knowledge
Reposted by Dog Shits
The date passed but friends, you know I had to acquire this shit
November 14, 2024 at 7:19 PM
The date passed but friends, you know I had to acquire this shit
Paul Driscoll burgles turds. He was caught in the Hyatt bathroom trying stake claim to the handicap stall. Do not allow him in your hotel
November 14, 2024 at 9:22 PM
Paul Driscoll burgles turds. He was caught in the Hyatt bathroom trying stake claim to the handicap stall. Do not allow him in your hotel
Reposted by Dog Shits
Have spoken often to your little machine.
November 14, 2024 at 9:41 AM
Have spoken often to your little machine.
Reposted by Dog Shits
Hey Australians, now that you're here: are you interested in more Aus-focused climate and energy analysis content?
November 14, 2024 at 9:49 AM
Hey Australians, now that you're here: are you interested in more Aus-focused climate and energy analysis content?
Brendan schuab sucks
November 14, 2024 at 7:08 PM
Brendan schuab sucks