the next 3 boots: #Survivor47

The players keep trying to make fake idols happen but they need to realize that no matter how hard they try, they will NEVER be a fucking stick. #Survivor #Survivor47

At this point Teeny valiantly attempting a women's alliance is a curse for the women #Survivor #Survivor47

I don't think we've seen a premerge boot linger so emotionally on a postmerge contestant since Monica and Brad Culpepper #Survivor47

was trying out posts on my dog and she just threw up so

there's a little kid bouncing a basketball loudly inside this starbucks right now, and his mom just yelled across the room BODHI DO YOU WANT A LATTE and I feel like this day is already ruined

are we still allowed to say this?

Please don’t be insensitive. Posting about what you enjoy is triggering to people who can’t enjoy anything

what has me bullish on bluesky’s future is that an entire ecosystem of users desperate to gain followers who will repost “Who thinks Biden should run in 2028?” exist alongside my thriving chum of posters trying to make jokes with a premise so disgusting their friends delete the app from their phone

Today’s That’s Marvelous newsletter is about Vito the Pug and unexpected good news! Read it!

[back in time, baby hitler asleep in his crib] ohhhh nope he just shat himself i ain’t going near that mission aborted mission aborted sorry jews and queers i tried get me out of here ziggy

“laugh nervously” = “christ in a croptop, this fucker’s about to have the nuclear codes again”

I don't trust banks. That's why you should hide all your money under my mattress.

I fucking hate the gods. One of them just gave me a prophetic vision that was just "deez nuts". I was driving. I could have run someone over. Asshole. That was two minutes ago I am still driving while typing this.

CBT is so helpful for processing emotional stress. I hear the therapy version is good too.

I got 100 problems but the inability to round up ain't one.

oh, you’re “egging my house?” thanks for breakfast dumbass

Welcome to an ongoing series I like to call Grace's Lack of Object Permanence in which I share a photo every time I buy multiples of an item because I forgot I already bought it because my ADD is constantly trolling me. Enjoy!

Biscuit has finally melted.