Reposted by JaKe W
I’m dog-sitting and my sister told me to drink the White Claw in her refrigerator. I’m pretty sure I’ve had it before, but maaan… I just opened up a Blackberry and this stuff is disgusting. It’s like Old English for sad lonely white women
October 7, 2023 at 2:46 AM
I’m dog-sitting and my sister told me to drink the White Claw in her refrigerator. I’m pretty sure I’ve had it before, but maaan… I just opened up a Blackberry and this stuff is disgusting. It’s like Old English for sad lonely white women
Reposted by JaKe W
Today, just to annoy my therapist, I asked him, so how does my lack of progress make you feel?
October 27, 2023 at 9:37 PM
Today, just to annoy my therapist, I asked him, so how does my lack of progress make you feel?
Reposted by JaKe W
Sex with my ex was comparable to a chimpanzee painting watercolour…
A few strokes and he was a complete mess.
A few strokes and he was a complete mess.
October 26, 2023 at 4:00 AM
Sex with my ex was comparable to a chimpanzee painting watercolour…
A few strokes and he was a complete mess.
A few strokes and he was a complete mess.
Do birds see us walking everywhere and think we’re stupid
October 27, 2023 at 8:05 PM
Reposted by JaKe W
Trainer: Tell me about your fitness goals.
Me: Diabetic Wolverine.
Me: Diabetic Wolverine.
October 27, 2023 at 4:15 PM
Trainer: Tell me about your fitness goals.
Me: Diabetic Wolverine.
Me: Diabetic Wolverine.
Reposted by JaKe W
"Women are so complicated. I don't even know what they like these days."
1) Pockets
2) Snacks
3) Pockets full of snacks
You're welcome.
1) Pockets
2) Snacks
3) Pockets full of snacks
You're welcome.
October 27, 2023 at 7:25 PM
"Women are so complicated. I don't even know what they like these days."
1) Pockets
2) Snacks
3) Pockets full of snacks
You're welcome.
1) Pockets
2) Snacks
3) Pockets full of snacks
You're welcome.
Reposted by JaKe W
Me: I'm cool as a cucumber
Cucumber [in ray bans and a tiny leather jacket] are you though?
Cucumber [in ray bans and a tiny leather jacket] are you though?
September 25, 2023 at 9:34 PM
Me: I'm cool as a cucumber
Cucumber [in ray bans and a tiny leather jacket] are you though?
Cucumber [in ray bans and a tiny leather jacket] are you though?
Reposted by JaKe W
*sitting all weird and faggy like*
October 27, 2023 at 5:27 PM
*sitting all weird and faggy like*
Reposted by JaKe W
I'm saving up all my bluesky codes to get a bike
October 27, 2023 at 3:52 PM
I'm saving up all my bluesky codes to get a bike
Passed out drunk and woke up to this...
He is a good guard doggy!
He is a good guard doggy!
October 27, 2023 at 4:13 AM
Passed out drunk and woke up to this...
He is a good guard doggy!
He is a good guard doggy!
Reposted by JaKe W
reskeet if you’ve NEVER killed ANYONE
on purpose
on purpose
October 13, 2023 at 10:11 PM
reskeet if you’ve NEVER killed ANYONE
on purpose
on purpose
Reposted by JaKe W
"This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them."
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
LEWISTON, ME—In the hours following a violent rampage in Maine in which a lone attacker killed at least 16 individuals and injured numerous others, citizens living in the only country where this ...
www.theonion.com
October 26, 2023 at 2:53 PM
"This was a terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop them."
Why is the post button hidden behind the dashboard on this app?
October 26, 2023 at 4:34 PM
Why is the post button hidden behind the dashboard on this app?
I haven't got one of these fancy new twitter phone calls yet. Does this mean I'm not in the cool kids club anymore?
October 26, 2023 at 4:25 PM
I haven't got one of these fancy new twitter phone calls yet. Does this mean I'm not in the cool kids club anymore?
Reposted by JaKe W
billy joel: we didn’t start the fire
detective: I haven’t mentioned a fire
billy joel: shit
detective: I haven’t mentioned a fire
billy joel: shit
October 25, 2023 at 8:10 PM
billy joel: we didn’t start the fire
detective: I haven’t mentioned a fire
billy joel: shit
detective: I haven’t mentioned a fire
billy joel: shit
As soon as I can afford healthy food this extra weight is GONE!
October 25, 2023 at 11:02 PM
As soon as I can afford healthy food this extra weight is GONE!
Best advice I've heard all week
Cop: Good morning.
You: *absolute silence*
You: *absolute silence*
Never talk to cops.
October 25, 2023 at 7:53 PM
Best advice I've heard all week
Wonder how many bots have blocked me?
October 25, 2023 at 3:04 PM
Wonder how many bots have blocked me?
Reposted by JaKe W
🤣🤣🤣
You should always testify at your criminal trial. Do not listen to your lawyer, who is only trying to hold you back in order to keep the spotlight on himself
October 25, 2023 at 2:59 PM
🤣🤣🤣
Reposted by JaKe W
Wish I had a job I could lose for my posts.
October 25, 2023 at 2:32 PM
Wish I had a job I could lose for my posts.
Life alert, but for drunk people who are getting ready to drive...
October 25, 2023 at 2:56 PM
Life alert, but for drunk people who are getting ready to drive...