Chris Turner
@christurner.bsky.social
I was born at an early age. Loves: Video/tabletop gaming. Loathes: my own stubborn fascination with societal forces beyond my control. San Franciscan. He/Him.
"Hey, you sass that hoopy Chris Turner? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is."
"Hey, you sass that hoopy Chris Turner? There's a frood who really knows where his towel is."
The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 will go.
When I turned 10, this was Raiders of the Lost Ark, a film about a scrappy academic outsmarting, punching and humiliating Nazis, with the end scene reflecting a return to the crushing, boring normalcy of the US Government bureaucracy
When I turned 10, this was Raiders of the Lost Ark, a film about a scrappy academic outsmarting, punching and humiliating Nazis, with the end scene reflecting a return to the crushing, boring normalcy of the US Government bureaucracy
December 20, 2025 at 2:50 AM
The #1 movie when you were 10 years old is how your 2026 will go.
When I turned 10, this was Raiders of the Lost Ark, a film about a scrappy academic outsmarting, punching and humiliating Nazis, with the end scene reflecting a return to the crushing, boring normalcy of the US Government bureaucracy
When I turned 10, this was Raiders of the Lost Ark, a film about a scrappy academic outsmarting, punching and humiliating Nazis, with the end scene reflecting a return to the crushing, boring normalcy of the US Government bureaucracy
"Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = crazy delicious!"
20 years ago tonight, Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell enjoyed a Lazy Sunday:
Lazy Sunday - SNL Digital Short
YouTube video by Saturday Night Live
www.youtube.com
December 18, 2025 at 2:04 AM
"Mr. Pibb + Red Vines = crazy delicious!"
becoming a “consumer” of “not dying prematurely” products and services
Roger Marshall: "We want patients to become consumers again. We want patients to see what the actual prices are. We believe that if we would add the price tags to this bill, that it would save the country a trillion dollars a year."
December 11, 2025 at 2:56 AM
becoming a “consumer” of “not dying prematurely” products and services
HOW DID YOU GET THAT THING STARTED?!?
December 8, 2025 at 9:01 PM
HOW DID YOU GET THAT THING STARTED?!?
my name is ozymandias, king of kings. look upon my works at 8pm Pacific, 7 Central and Mountain
my name is ozymandias, king of kings. look upon my works. prices and participation may vary, for a limited time only. children under 13 need a parent or guardian's signature to participate.
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings. Look upon my works, which were processed in a facility that also processes peanuts.
November 3, 2025 at 8:31 PM
my name is ozymandias, king of kings. look upon my works at 8pm Pacific, 7 Central and Mountain
slightly diminish a book:
Of Mouse and Man
Of Mouse and Man
slightly diminish a book:
Bridget Jones’s Voice Memo
Bridget Jones’s Voice Memo
Slightly diminish a book
The Pretty Good Gatsby
The Pretty Good Gatsby
September 8, 2025 at 6:18 AM
slightly diminish a book:
Of Mouse and Man
Of Mouse and Man
"Dizz Knee Land" by Dada
Name a Cheerful sounding Song that is truly Dark.
July 3, 2025 at 6:43 PM
"Dizz Knee Land" by Dada
Someone needs to tell him all he needs to do is press "1" for an automated list of options to address his problem or for further information, just visit their website
June 30, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Someone needs to tell him all he needs to do is press "1" for an automated list of options to address his problem or for further information, just visit their website
A couple years ago at a crowded cafe deck overlooking the Grand Tetons, a man graciously offered his table to me as he and his wife were leaving. I turned to thank him and it was David Strathairn.
Right folks. Feeling rather down at the moment so bringing back an oldie
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
Please Quote this with your most minor celebrity interaction
June 13, 2025 at 3:24 PM
A couple years ago at a crowded cafe deck overlooking the Grand Tetons, a man graciously offered his table to me as he and his wife were leaving. I turned to thank him and it was David Strathairn.
Not when it means lawmakers can pick up NVIDIA stock slightly cheaper just before their earnings report after the bell today
Trump is literally trying to centrally plan the American economy. I always thought Republicans were against that sort of thing.
Trump orders US chip designers to stop selling to China
Move is latest US effort to stymie geopolitical rival’s technological advance
on.ft.com
May 28, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Not when it means lawmakers can pick up NVIDIA stock slightly cheaper just before their earnings report after the bell today
Wow, so California's entire Central Valley, which produces 25% of our nation's food supply, does not have reliable weather forecasting?
Seems bad.
Seems bad.
May 15, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Wow, so California's entire Central Valley, which produces 25% of our nation's food supply, does not have reliable weather forecasting?
Seems bad.
Seems bad.
Keep a quarter in your shoe in case you need to make an emergency pay phone call
If you’re over 30, quote this with some life advice 🤌🏼
May 10, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Keep a quarter in your shoe in case you need to make an emergency pay phone call
Reposted by Chris Turner
I just really need everybody to understand that everything that’s happening in and to the global economy now (and all the businesses and people in it) is the entirely predictable result of the intentional decisions of one guy who doesn’t understand how the global economy works.
May 10, 2025 at 2:53 PM
I just really need everybody to understand that everything that’s happening in and to the global economy now (and all the businesses and people in it) is the entirely predictable result of the intentional decisions of one guy who doesn’t understand how the global economy works.
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie
Four14en
Four14en
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie
Thirty Nine Sixty Eight
Thirty Nine Sixty Eight
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie.
Those Two Things You Do!
Those Two Things You Do!
May 6, 2025 at 2:15 AM
Implement a 100% tariff and ruin a movie
Four14en
Four14en
<<record scratch>>
FREEZE FRAME
Narrator: "Yep. That's me. You're probably wondering how I got here."
FREEZE FRAME
Narrator: "Yep. That's me. You're probably wondering how I got here."
April 16, 2025 at 3:42 AM
<<record scratch>>
FREEZE FRAME
Narrator: "Yep. That's me. You're probably wondering how I got here."
FREEZE FRAME
Narrator: "Yep. That's me. You're probably wondering how I got here."
Finally! An energy resource immune to incineration!
Trump: "Coal is the single most reliable, durable, secure, and powerful form of energy ... it's almost indestructible. You could drop a bomb on it and it's gonna be there for you to use the next day."
April 8, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Finally! An energy resource immune to incineration!
You're either a PaniCAN or a PaniCAN'T
April 7, 2025 at 4:40 PM
You're either a PaniCAN or a PaniCAN'T
Reposted by Chris Turner
if you all want to spend your last dollar bills on weird flash fiction merch, I have tshirts in men's M and L for $30, books for $13 (this all includes shipping, btw) and free stickers. because stickers rock.
dm me.
blacklawrencepress.com/books/horsem...
dm me.
blacklawrencepress.com/books/horsem...
Horsemouth and Aquariumhead - Black Lawrence Press | Black Lawrence Press
Winner of the Spring 2023 Black River Chapbook Competition Tales of longing and desire for escape, Horsemouth and Aquariumhead features imaginative and sometimes unsettling characters. Whether the cha...
blacklawrencepress.com
April 7, 2025 at 2:03 AM
if you all want to spend your last dollar bills on weird flash fiction merch, I have tshirts in men's M and L for $30, books for $13 (this all includes shipping, btw) and free stickers. because stickers rock.
dm me.
blacklawrencepress.com/books/horsem...
dm me.
blacklawrencepress.com/books/horsem...
Taking a family vacation overseas in a couple of weeks and can't figure out if I should be more anxious of the plane hitting the control tower and burning or getting to our destination and having everyone we meet spit on us for 10 days
April 3, 2025 at 3:45 AM
Taking a family vacation overseas in a couple of weeks and can't figure out if I should be more anxious of the plane hitting the control tower and burning or getting to our destination and having everyone we meet spit on us for 10 days
Bad news for American penguin shit importers
Trump is imposing a 10% tariff on the Heard and McDonald Islands.
The Heard and McDonald Islands are uninhabited.
The Heard and McDonald Islands are uninhabited.
April 2, 2025 at 11:14 PM
Bad news for American penguin shit importers
