Portillo's Illustrated
@cemeterry.bsky.social
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CNN ANCHOR: As President Trump's approval ratings drop, how can Democrats harness the protest movements we see today?
HAKEEM JEFFRIES: Well I call him President Parachute Pants ok? Too much ballroom. Yet he's fumbling the ball of protecting healthcare. So I urge all Americans to obey federal agents.
HAKEEM JEFFRIES: Well I call him President Parachute Pants ok? Too much ballroom. Yet he's fumbling the ball of protecting healthcare. So I urge all Americans to obey federal agents.
November 2, 2025 at 9:59 PM
CNN ANCHOR: As President Trump's approval ratings drop, how can Democrats harness the protest movements we see today?
HAKEEM JEFFRIES: Well I call him President Parachute Pants ok? Too much ballroom. Yet he's fumbling the ball of protecting healthcare. So I urge all Americans to obey federal agents.
HAKEEM JEFFRIES: Well I call him President Parachute Pants ok? Too much ballroom. Yet he's fumbling the ball of protecting healthcare. So I urge all Americans to obey federal agents.
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I love to show up every day for my job, which is standing around holding the front of my tactical vest and getting told to choke to death by thousands of passers-by while 11 of my coworkers handcuff a roofer on his way to work. Every night I drive 80 minutes home, thinking about nothing at all.
August 19, 2025 at 3:16 AM
I love to show up every day for my job, which is standing around holding the front of my tactical vest and getting told to choke to death by thousands of passers-by while 11 of my coworkers handcuff a roofer on his way to work. Every night I drive 80 minutes home, thinking about nothing at all.
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Reposted by Portillo's Illustrated
Front page of Scottish newspaper The National today.
October 13, 2025 at 12:32 PM
Front page of Scottish newspaper The National today.
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Senator: (after spending 8 hours crafting the perfect tweet) Instead of acting illegally, the president should consider the price of turnips at the grocery
February 2, 2025 at 3:52 AM
Senator: (after spending 8 hours crafting the perfect tweet) Instead of acting illegally, the president should consider the price of turnips at the grocery
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denmark rocks bc theyll notice that only 80% of their population is currently laying in the grass in a park with a six pack of 8% beer reading a book while on a 3 hour lunch break from work making $50/hr selling croissants at a cafe called GOBBO or FLUUZ and their government will spring into action
Confronting what its culture minister called a "reading crisis," the Danish government announced this week that it planned to make books exempt from a 25% value-added tax.
Facing a ‘Reading Crisis,’ Denmark Wants to Make Books Cheaper
The Danish government announced this week that it planned to make books exempt from a 25 percent value-added tax.
nyti.ms
August 22, 2025 at 8:03 AM
denmark rocks bc theyll notice that only 80% of their population is currently laying in the grass in a park with a six pack of 8% beer reading a book while on a 3 hour lunch break from work making $50/hr selling croissants at a cafe called GOBBO or FLUUZ and their government will spring into action
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Accounting for the entirety of human experience and history in my joke tweet about making mounted police go under the horse in giant Baby Bjorns. No one is offended or makes any outrageous assumptions. I begin to levitate slightly as my eyes glow blue.
July 28, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Accounting for the entirety of human experience and history in my joke tweet about making mounted police go under the horse in giant Baby Bjorns. No one is offended or makes any outrageous assumptions. I begin to levitate slightly as my eyes glow blue.
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Tony Hawk's Pro Tactics Advance
July 24, 2025 at 12:23 PM
Tony Hawk's Pro Tactics Advance
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Trump Invites Jeffrey Epstein On Stage To Explain There No Conspiracy
Trump Invites Jeffrey Epstein On Stage To Explain There No Conspiracy
WASHINGTON—During a speech Friday in which he sought to convince MAGA supporters that his administration did not withhold any important information from its partial release of “the Epstein files” in F...
theonion.com
July 17, 2025 at 6:29 PM
Trump Invites Jeffrey Epstein On Stage To Explain There No Conspiracy
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Reposted by Portillo's Illustrated
Watch this balding unc fuck up some dudes on his lunchbreak, forearm shiver to make space and hit one foot Kobe fallaways while wearing a tucked in polo
July 18, 2025 at 4:09 AM
Watch this balding unc fuck up some dudes on his lunchbreak, forearm shiver to make space and hit one foot Kobe fallaways while wearing a tucked in polo
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“long term viability” is somebody else’s problem. “short term kicking ass and notching w’s” is the ethos
May 26, 2025 at 11:52 AM
“long term viability” is somebody else’s problem. “short term kicking ass and notching w’s” is the ethos
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Reposted by Portillo's Illustrated
Me, logging on to work after the long weekend
May 26, 2025 at 6:36 PM
Me, logging on to work after the long weekend
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Me (crying): Please...I just need to message my coworkers
Microsoft Teams Developers: No you don't. You want a Bunch of Bullshit that also changes week-to-week for some reason
Microsoft Teams Developers: No you don't. You want a Bunch of Bullshit that also changes week-to-week for some reason
May 27, 2025 at 9:09 PM
Me (crying): Please...I just need to message my coworkers
Microsoft Teams Developers: No you don't. You want a Bunch of Bullshit that also changes week-to-week for some reason
Microsoft Teams Developers: No you don't. You want a Bunch of Bullshit that also changes week-to-week for some reason
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this excess is proof that dubai is for white people and the oligarch class
May 28, 2025 at 3:46 AM
this excess is proof that dubai is for white people and the oligarch class
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This may sound primitive and unscientific, but through the fairies, we COULD ask Mothra for help
February 1, 2025 at 1:45 AM
This may sound primitive and unscientific, but through the fairies, we COULD ask Mothra for help
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Perfect. Bringing out the big guns. I also heard the DNC utilized a child’s prayer and the collective power of friendship to change the president’s mind re: pulping habeas corpus. “Wishing on a shooting star” was shot down by senior membership as “prematurely aggressive.”
“On Wednesday, the Democratic National Committee is having a plane fly a banner near Mar-a-Lago, the president’s beloved home and club in Palm Beach. From 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. it will identify the location as ‘Qatar-a-Lago.’”
Democrats plan to fly ‘Qatar-a-Lago’ banner at Trump’s home to troll him over airliner gift
Democrats have raised serious, weighty objections to President Donald Trump’s move to accept a $400 million plane from the governor of Qatar, with many arguing it’s a clear violation of the emolume…
www.sun-sentinel.com
May 15, 2025 at 6:31 PM
Perfect. Bringing out the big guns. I also heard the DNC utilized a child’s prayer and the collective power of friendship to change the president’s mind re: pulping habeas corpus. “Wishing on a shooting star” was shot down by senior membership as “prematurely aggressive.”
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We need educators like this
May 7, 2025 at 2:33 PM
We need educators like this
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We need a leftist Andrew Tate. We need a leftist Fox News. We need a casino where you don't gamble and they give you free money. I refuse to understand the ecosystem I'm in the center of and I will not leave or modify my behavior. We need leftist McNuggets
May 4, 2025 at 9:43 PM
We need a leftist Andrew Tate. We need a leftist Fox News. We need a casino where you don't gamble and they give you free money. I refuse to understand the ecosystem I'm in the center of and I will not leave or modify my behavior. We need leftist McNuggets