Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
@beneathhergaze.bsky.social
Witch, wordsmith, midwife of emotions. Terminally online, vehemently anti-AI. DCTID. Always follows the #1 Rule of the Casual Criminalist.
Any mansplaining incurs a fee of $50. Unblocking fee $100.
"If you don't want to be in a poem, don't fuck a poet."
Any mansplaining incurs a fee of $50. Unblocking fee $100.
"If you don't want to be in a poem, don't fuck a poet."
Pinned
I don't do automatic follow 4 follow: some of y'all post like you're two seconds from either a grippy sock vacation or lacing up your Nike Decades and I am trying to preserve my sanity and peace here by cultivating my feeds. It's nothing personal.
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
I've softened slightly on Onosato though I still don't prefer him (his sumo is just so boring!), but I gotta say, there is absolutely nothing on this earth he does better than make the most amazingly relatable faces as he walks back to his dressing room reliving his failures after a loss
November 19, 2025 at 2:33 PM
I've softened slightly on Onosato though I still don't prefer him (his sumo is just so boring!), but I gotta say, there is absolutely nothing on this earth he does better than make the most amazingly relatable faces as he walks back to his dressing room reliving his failures after a loss
I would kill to be able to drink coffee safely rn. The day someone figures out how to make a 100% caffeine-free coffee is the day I get my life back. Fuckin MCAS.
November 19, 2025 at 4:05 PM
I would kill to be able to drink coffee safely rn. The day someone figures out how to make a 100% caffeine-free coffee is the day I get my life back. Fuckin MCAS.
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
download our app to buy coffee! get your coffee by simply entering your email! coffee is just one password containing a number, letter, and special character away! hey. fuck you
November 19, 2025 at 2:45 PM
download our app to buy coffee! get your coffee by simply entering your email! coffee is just one password containing a number, letter, and special character away! hey. fuck you
I've softened slightly on Onosato though I still don't prefer him (his sumo is just so boring!), but I gotta say, there is absolutely nothing on this earth he does better than make the most amazingly relatable faces as he walks back to his dressing room reliving his failures after a loss
November 19, 2025 at 2:33 PM
I've softened slightly on Onosato though I still don't prefer him (his sumo is just so boring!), but I gotta say, there is absolutely nothing on this earth he does better than make the most amazingly relatable faces as he walks back to his dressing room reliving his failures after a loss
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
just because I’m attractive doesn’t mean I’m ideal girlfriend material but in my case it does I’m sorry I’m about to break your heart
November 19, 2025 at 2:33 AM
just because I’m attractive doesn’t mean I’m ideal girlfriend material but in my case it does I’m sorry I’m about to break your heart
Got my first seed catalog on the mail today and am already longing for moments like these again
I smell like cucumber melon and soil and sweat and I do not understand why you cowards make a big deal about wanting a big muscle mommy but when I pick up a 1.5 cubic foot bag of soil with one arm, suddenly everyone is staring at me in the Menards like I might kill them with laser eyes
November 19, 2025 at 2:43 AM
Got my first seed catalog on the mail today and am already longing for moments like these again
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
Real romance writer problems (after dark)
When you're writing a love scene and it's flowing really well (in more ways than one) and then you suddenly pause with your fingers poised over the keyboard and ask aloud "Where are his pants?"
November 19, 2025 at 2:18 AM
Real romance writer problems (after dark)
I can only assume the target audience for podcasts is people who don't already get constantly bombarded with random strangers trying to tell you their life story in public, bc all I need to do to hear some rando's terrible jokes and product recommendations is go grocery shopping without headphones
November 19, 2025 at 2:18 AM
I can only assume the target audience for podcasts is people who don't already get constantly bombarded with random strangers trying to tell you their life story in public, bc all I need to do to hear some rando's terrible jokes and product recommendations is go grocery shopping without headphones
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
lol I fucking knew that little shit wasn't to be trusted.
Avoid the new Vine like a plague, they just want a pure dataset to scrape.
Avoid the new Vine like a plague, they just want a pure dataset to scrape.
November 18, 2025 at 6:58 PM
lol I fucking knew that little shit wasn't to be trusted.
Avoid the new Vine like a plague, they just want a pure dataset to scrape.
Avoid the new Vine like a plague, they just want a pure dataset to scrape.
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
This, by the way, is what intimidated him.
He said he was pondering the meaning of love and life.
I responded with my thoughts and never heard from him again until now.
If you can't stand the heat...
He said he was pondering the meaning of love and life.
I responded with my thoughts and never heard from him again until now.
If you can't stand the heat...
November 18, 2025 at 6:14 PM
This, by the way, is what intimidated him.
He said he was pondering the meaning of love and life.
I responded with my thoughts and never heard from him again until now.
If you can't stand the heat...
He said he was pondering the meaning of love and life.
I responded with my thoughts and never heard from him again until now.
If you can't stand the heat...
This, by the way, is what intimidated him.
He said he was pondering the meaning of love and life.
I responded with my thoughts and never heard from him again until now.
If you can't stand the heat...
He said he was pondering the meaning of love and life.
I responded with my thoughts and never heard from him again until now.
If you can't stand the heat...
November 18, 2025 at 6:14 PM
This, by the way, is what intimidated him.
He said he was pondering the meaning of love and life.
I responded with my thoughts and never heard from him again until now.
If you can't stand the heat...
He said he was pondering the meaning of love and life.
I responded with my thoughts and never heard from him again until now.
If you can't stand the heat...
Jesus fucking Christ, he used the bottom eyes emoji. I bet my instincts were right all along; he's in this for goth dommy mommy fetish reasons. Fuckin broccoli-head loser behavior.
November 18, 2025 at 5:10 PM
Jesus fucking Christ, he used the bottom eyes emoji. I bet my instincts were right all along; he's in this for goth dommy mommy fetish reasons. Fuckin broccoli-head loser behavior.
"Well, well, well...ChatGPT is down, you say? What a shame," I say, walking into work with my writing degree stapled to my shirt
November 18, 2025 at 2:54 PM
"Well, well, well...ChatGPT is down, you say? What a shame," I say, walking into work with my writing degree stapled to my shirt
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
taking down AO3 but not my job: Cloudflare confirmed homophobic
November 18, 2025 at 2:03 PM
taking down AO3 but not my job: Cloudflare confirmed homophobic
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
on behalf of the Daddy Issues Community, I’d like to request that we’re excluded from this narrative. that lady got some other stuff going on
November 18, 2025 at 2:29 PM
on behalf of the Daddy Issues Community, I’d like to request that we’re excluded from this narrative. that lady got some other stuff going on
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
chatgpt is down, post handmade em dashes
November 18, 2025 at 2:14 PM
chatgpt is down, post handmade em dashes
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
Why am I so against generative AI in games?
Because I simply do not want my initial reaction to art to be one of suspicion and scrutiny, AI slop is fundamentally damaging my relationship to art and artistry, and I am deeply resentful that it is forcing me to be guarded when I should be wowed.
Because I simply do not want my initial reaction to art to be one of suspicion and scrutiny, AI slop is fundamentally damaging my relationship to art and artistry, and I am deeply resentful that it is forcing me to be guarded when I should be wowed.
November 17, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Why am I so against generative AI in games?
Because I simply do not want my initial reaction to art to be one of suspicion and scrutiny, AI slop is fundamentally damaging my relationship to art and artistry, and I am deeply resentful that it is forcing me to be guarded when I should be wowed.
Because I simply do not want my initial reaction to art to be one of suspicion and scrutiny, AI slop is fundamentally damaging my relationship to art and artistry, and I am deeply resentful that it is forcing me to be guarded when I should be wowed.
Dear healthcare professionals:
If a patient says "I decline to be weighed" and it is not a life-threatening situation, e.g. they aren't in need of anesthesia), the correct response is not to start arguing with them in the hallway & demanding they do it against their will.
Thanks in advance! 😒
If a patient says "I decline to be weighed" and it is not a life-threatening situation, e.g. they aren't in need of anesthesia), the correct response is not to start arguing with them in the hallway & demanding they do it against their will.
Thanks in advance! 😒
November 18, 2025 at 12:51 PM
Dear healthcare professionals:
If a patient says "I decline to be weighed" and it is not a life-threatening situation, e.g. they aren't in need of anesthesia), the correct response is not to start arguing with them in the hallway & demanding they do it against their will.
Thanks in advance! 😒
If a patient says "I decline to be weighed" and it is not a life-threatening situation, e.g. they aren't in need of anesthesia), the correct response is not to start arguing with them in the hallway & demanding they do it against their will.
Thanks in advance! 😒
Wuh oh
Just realized I am declining to match with hot people on Hinge because I assume they will hate me when they get to know me so I'm trying to spare myself the rejection by not bothering
Lol, lmao, rofl
Just realized I am declining to match with hot people on Hinge because I assume they will hate me when they get to know me so I'm trying to spare myself the rejection by not bothering
Lol, lmao, rofl
Wuh oh
realized I have never once had sex where I wasn't dissociating the entire time
and that I'll never be able to let myself be that vulnerable with anyone else again thanks to the trauma of my last relationship so I guess it's a good thing I'm ugly as sin so it's not an issue
crashout time
realized I have never once had sex where I wasn't dissociating the entire time
and that I'll never be able to let myself be that vulnerable with anyone else again thanks to the trauma of my last relationship so I guess it's a good thing I'm ugly as sin so it's not an issue
crashout time
November 18, 2025 at 3:55 AM
Wuh oh
Just realized I am declining to match with hot people on Hinge because I assume they will hate me when they get to know me so I'm trying to spare myself the rejection by not bothering
Lol, lmao, rofl
Just realized I am declining to match with hot people on Hinge because I assume they will hate me when they get to know me so I'm trying to spare myself the rejection by not bothering
Lol, lmao, rofl
Went back on Hinge and this guy just tried to match me again with "you're so hot 🥵". Men really do think we're born anew every day, huh
I was chatting back & forth with him, thought maybe things were going well, then I responded to him asking what the meaning of love was w/ a huge genuine essay & I have not heard a peep from him in nearly 3 days. I wonder what it'd be like to be loved as I am instead of for what people want of me.
A 25yo boy has shown interest in me on this dating site. I am concerned, uncomfortable and confused.
Place your bets on which secret kink he has that has led him to me, bc it's certainly not my personality or romantic ways that got his attention 🙄 I'm betting on "goth mommy domme".
Place your bets on which secret kink he has that has led him to me, bc it's certainly not my personality or romantic ways that got his attention 🙄 I'm betting on "goth mommy domme".
November 18, 2025 at 3:19 AM
Went back on Hinge and this guy just tried to match me again with "you're so hot 🥵". Men really do think we're born anew every day, huh
LOL LMAO HEY GUESS WHAT
TURNS OUT MY BLOOD SUGAR WAS LIKE NEGATIVE 10
I'M BETTER NOW
TURNS OUT MY BLOOD SUGAR WAS LIKE NEGATIVE 10
I'M BETTER NOW
Jfc I can't even blame this one on hormones, where the fuck did this come from
I feel like I've been hit with a bat
I feel like I've been hit with a bat
November 18, 2025 at 2:31 AM
LOL LMAO HEY GUESS WHAT
TURNS OUT MY BLOOD SUGAR WAS LIKE NEGATIVE 10
I'M BETTER NOW
TURNS OUT MY BLOOD SUGAR WAS LIKE NEGATIVE 10
I'M BETTER NOW
Wuh oh
realized I have never once had sex where I wasn't dissociating the entire time
and that I'll never be able to let myself be that vulnerable with anyone else again thanks to the trauma of my last relationship so I guess it's a good thing I'm ugly as sin so it's not an issue
crashout time
realized I have never once had sex where I wasn't dissociating the entire time
and that I'll never be able to let myself be that vulnerable with anyone else again thanks to the trauma of my last relationship so I guess it's a good thing I'm ugly as sin so it's not an issue
crashout time
November 18, 2025 at 12:22 AM
Wuh oh
realized I have never once had sex where I wasn't dissociating the entire time
and that I'll never be able to let myself be that vulnerable with anyone else again thanks to the trauma of my last relationship so I guess it's a good thing I'm ugly as sin so it's not an issue
crashout time
realized I have never once had sex where I wasn't dissociating the entire time
and that I'll never be able to let myself be that vulnerable with anyone else again thanks to the trauma of my last relationship so I guess it's a good thing I'm ugly as sin so it's not an issue
crashout time
Oh good, we got another sex pest on the prowl around here. Love that.
November 17, 2025 at 11:55 PM
Oh good, we got another sex pest on the prowl around here. Love that.
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
"patching things up isn't aesthetic" you are the shame and embarrassment of your entire bloodline. your ancestors did not scrimp & suffer for you to scoff at & spurn the thrifty techniques that allowed your existence. you will not survive this upcoming economic depression. i will shit in your socks.
November 17, 2025 at 8:15 PM
"patching things up isn't aesthetic" you are the shame and embarrassment of your entire bloodline. your ancestors did not scrimp & suffer for you to scoff at & spurn the thrifty techniques that allowed your existence. you will not survive this upcoming economic depression. i will shit in your socks.
Reposted by Swamp Witch 🍂🍁
Just learned this creep has been perving in other women’s DMs. Block him: @mikeferguson.bsky.social
November 17, 2025 at 10:56 PM
Just learned this creep has been perving in other women’s DMs. Block him: @mikeferguson.bsky.social