Augurius Pontius
@auguriuspontius.bsky.social
Witchy AF.
Aspiring scholar-poet.
Aspiring scholar-poet.
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
Now for some sports news...
(this week's cartoon for @theguardian.com books pages)
(this week's cartoon for @theguardian.com books pages)
November 24, 2025 at 2:14 PM
Now for some sports news...
(this week's cartoon for @theguardian.com books pages)
(this week's cartoon for @theguardian.com books pages)
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
Arthur Ranson
November 19, 2025 at 3:14 AM
Arthur Ranson
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
There's a sex scene in the springsteen biopic and I turned to Becca and said "this is where he wrote born to cum" and the glare I got
November 17, 2025 at 12:54 PM
There's a sex scene in the springsteen biopic and I turned to Becca and said "this is where he wrote born to cum" and the glare I got
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
me telling my grandkids what it was like to have vaccines
September 22, 2025 at 8:55 PM
me telling my grandkids what it was like to have vaccines
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
sometimes i delete a post because i've grown as a person in those 45 seconds
October 12, 2023 at 5:51 PM
sometimes i delete a post because i've grown as a person in those 45 seconds
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its always whats up? and never wouldst thou like to live deliciously?
August 26, 2025 at 10:39 PM
its always whats up? and never wouldst thou like to live deliciously?
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
I’ve said it before but reading all the medieval history books I’ve been reading lately has been so comforting. Makes you realize that there have always been mad and incompetent kings and they almost always die in ignominy and everyone piles shit on them for centuries after they’re gone.
August 26, 2025 at 11:58 PM
I’ve said it before but reading all the medieval history books I’ve been reading lately has been so comforting. Makes you realize that there have always been mad and incompetent kings and they almost always die in ignominy and everyone piles shit on them for centuries after they’re gone.
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behold my filmmaking skills
July 5, 2025 at 5:55 PM
behold my filmmaking skills
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
FRIEND: It's called cauliflower. It's not ghost broccoli.
ME: [taking a long drag on my cigarette] Listen kid, I know what I saw.
ME: [taking a long drag on my cigarette] Listen kid, I know what I saw.
April 26, 2023 at 11:15 PM
FRIEND: It's called cauliflower. It's not ghost broccoli.
ME: [taking a long drag on my cigarette] Listen kid, I know what I saw.
ME: [taking a long drag on my cigarette] Listen kid, I know what I saw.
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
water left in a glass overnight tastes bad because it gets haunted
July 16, 2025 at 4:25 AM
water left in a glass overnight tastes bad because it gets haunted
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A local video store owner informed me that kids in their 20s are buying up all his VHS horror movies because they think it's "scarier due to the graininess of the video" and that was the most heart-warming thing I've heard in a long time.
July 8, 2025 at 3:13 AM
A local video store owner informed me that kids in their 20s are buying up all his VHS horror movies because they think it's "scarier due to the graininess of the video" and that was the most heart-warming thing I've heard in a long time.
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
“If people cannot write well, they cannot think well, and if they cannot think well, others will do their thinking for them.”
— George Orwell
— George Orwell
July 6, 2025 at 9:36 AM
“If people cannot write well, they cannot think well, and if they cannot think well, others will do their thinking for them.”
— George Orwell
— George Orwell
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
Every time I see a new species at the Fishtown pollinator plot, that’s a huge hell yeah.
June 29, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Every time I see a new species at the Fishtown pollinator plot, that’s a huge hell yeah.
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
WISE MAN: being dumb is good
ME: i know
WISE MAN: being goofy is cool. Having no swag will actually get you further in life
ME: I know all this
ME: i know
WISE MAN: being goofy is cool. Having no swag will actually get you further in life
ME: I know all this
July 1, 2025 at 7:15 PM
WISE MAN: being dumb is good
ME: i know
WISE MAN: being goofy is cool. Having no swag will actually get you further in life
ME: I know all this
ME: i know
WISE MAN: being goofy is cool. Having no swag will actually get you further in life
ME: I know all this
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
You all ready for this shit?
June 25, 2025 at 10:18 PM
You all ready for this shit?
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
i am perceived 😭😂
June 18, 2025 at 4:49 AM
i am perceived 😭😂
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
every college degree has only two pathways for careers
for example, if you get a degree in psychology, you can
1) help poor and underprivileged people: $30,000/year
2) research new ways to make people gamble even more: $700,000/year
for example, if you get a degree in psychology, you can
1) help poor and underprivileged people: $30,000/year
2) research new ways to make people gamble even more: $700,000/year
May 23, 2025 at 8:53 PM
every college degree has only two pathways for careers
for example, if you get a degree in psychology, you can
1) help poor and underprivileged people: $30,000/year
2) research new ways to make people gamble even more: $700,000/year
for example, if you get a degree in psychology, you can
1) help poor and underprivileged people: $30,000/year
2) research new ways to make people gamble even more: $700,000/year
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
I want to be beautiful but not soft.
I want to be nurturing but not self-sacrificial.
I want to be strong but not violent.
I want to be resolute but not cold.
I will protect my own.
Mine is the rising energy of the sap, antlers fresh from velvet, daylight emerging from starlight.
I want to be nurturing but not self-sacrificial.
I want to be strong but not violent.
I want to be resolute but not cold.
I will protect my own.
Mine is the rising energy of the sap, antlers fresh from velvet, daylight emerging from starlight.
May 25, 2025 at 10:40 PM
I want to be beautiful but not soft.
I want to be nurturing but not self-sacrificial.
I want to be strong but not violent.
I want to be resolute but not cold.
I will protect my own.
Mine is the rising energy of the sap, antlers fresh from velvet, daylight emerging from starlight.
I want to be nurturing but not self-sacrificial.
I want to be strong but not violent.
I want to be resolute but not cold.
I will protect my own.
Mine is the rising energy of the sap, antlers fresh from velvet, daylight emerging from starlight.
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
Reposted by Augurius Pontius
your eyes are the most beautiful shade of dead on the inside
May 23, 2025 at 3:53 PM
your eyes are the most beautiful shade of dead on the inside