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Reposted by kit

@danielgray.com

COW TOOLS COW TOOLS COW TOOLS

Back-scratching bovine leads scientists to reassess intelligence of cows

Brown Swiss in Austria has been discovered using tools in multiple ways – something only ever seen in humans and chimpanzees

www.theguardian.com

January 19, 2026 at 4:06 PM

Reposted by kit

konnaire

@konnaire.bsky.social

Everybody thinks 'https://' stands for 'hypertext transfer protocol secure' but it actually stands for 'head to this place, sucka' followed by a colon and two laser sounds

January 13, 2026 at 8:17 PM

Reposted by kit

k0ppk0pp 🔜 Shoebox

@k0ppk0pp.bsky.social

January 12, 2026 at 6:55 PM

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November Kelly

@postoctobrist.bsky.social

magical

January 5, 2026 at 8:56 AM

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November Kelly

@postoctobrist.bsky.social

noisepuppy
...
Account from the ball haver
Tam: the pressure is getting to me; I wake up and drink half a bottle of diet iron bru from my bedside table; roll out of bed, and psych myself up in the mirror - "you can do this my little pogchamp" I say to myself over and over until I decend into a stupor.
8am: I play an hour of Okami on steam to replenish my chi levels
9am: I look at my balls for a while
10am: I spend 20 or so minutes trying to decide what to wear before realising it's the subartic in midwinter and I'm going to have to dress for - 2C° regardless of what I choose and opt of my trusty black Schott thermal padded winter flight jacket and a pair of loose, warm Uniqlo trousers to give my testicles room to breathe.

11am: crashing out, texting my friends to arange a substitute kickee, an understudy, anybody so I can just become one with the crowd and not go through with it
12am: the homies have arrived, I'm drinking redbush tea in a small cafe by the park; god is in his heaven and all is right with the world
12.15: "you must be here to watch me get kicked in the balls?"
12.40: a circle emerges, from within the circle a palpable energy focuses like a lens down unto me and I feel like I'm gonna pee my pants a little
12.50: cheers begin, several complete families with dogs arrive - more friends appear and assort themselves into a gathering of 'real heads' ready to watch my groin be dessicated by the firm lace of a women for woman woman with a foot loosed through the gates of war as Augustus saw fit the dispatch and return of his troops from far corners through the blessings of Janus.

12.55: I think I left the stove on
1pm: Short introductions are made, grace is shown, beautiful flute music accompanies the gathering
1.03pm: what is left of my dignity disappears up my inguinal canal; I fall to the ground and languish a moment. I can feel it more in my lower chest than I can in my groin but the humour and adrenaline lift me and I'm laughing on my feet again soon. I kneel for the last post.

January 5, 2026 at 9:06 AM

Reposted by kit

November Kelly

@postoctobrist.bsky.social

tinyglowingsharks
• ••
Brief report from the flute accompaniment:
It went well! At least 100 people attended, families dogs a solid portion of Glasgow's trans community.
There was a really lovely atmosphere, nice weather and a very cheerful celebratory vibe.
After short speeches from the ballhaver and the large dyke (my wife), the ballhaver was given a chupa chup and blindfolded (execution style). The balls were then duly kicked; it made a surprisingly loud dull thumping sound. She fell to the ground to loud cheers and there was a moment of silence
while Taps played on the flute. The large dyke wore solovair urban hikers.

butch-bear-arcadia
...
Account from the Large Dyke.
Arrived early to find the crowd already gathering, so the kick got off to a prompt start. Following some introductions from everybody and some cheery folk music from our flautist (my wife!) we got on with the kick.
I think we got good contact, the top of my boot making a good solid noise on impact. Very good atmosphere all round, people stayed to chat for a while. Were it not January it would have been an excellent opportunity for a picnic.
10/10 queer event, would happily kick anybody in the balls in the name of community.

January 5, 2026 at 9:07 AM

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B. Mure 𓃦

@bmure.bsky.social

horses of the northern hemisphere, i almost forgot to get you a card

Thick black line drawings of horses in a sketchbook with text that reads

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN A HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE AND A —
- A VERY HAPPY BIRYHDAY TO EVERY HORSE IN THE NOORTHERNN HEMISPHEEEEERE

(Extra text by a tall cake reads ‘tall horse cake’ and ‘they’re not wolves’)

January 1, 2026 at 11:21 PM

Reposted by kit

Cliff Pervocracy

@pervocracy.bsky.social

by the standards of real nerds I'm only "aw he's trying" at computers but by the standards of my coworkers in healthcare I am a god among men

my secret trick is to read the instructions on the screen and do what they say

December 17, 2025 at 5:45 PM

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Stan Kelly

@kartoonistkelly.bsky.social

Outlook for the new year ...

December 31, 2025 at 11:20 PM

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Cain Loveless

@cainloveless.bsky.social

Post 1 by imissthembutitwasntadisaster:

"the world isn't kind" ok??? Much more importantly are you???

Post 2 by whatsupwalnut:

"the world isn't kind" skill issue. I am

Post 3 by geekysteven:

Git gud, in your heart and soul

Post 4 by inkieswirlsgaming

Image of a Skeleton surrounded by fire with the text
"THE WORLD ISN'T KIND"

NOT YET IT ISN'T

September 16, 2025 at 5:44 PM

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radium girlthing

@maidthing.bsky.social

no no no the relationship to the patient is "royal consort", not significant other. I can see you typing significant other

December 28, 2025 at 6:26 AM

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James Vincent

@jjvincent.bsky.social

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

December 27, 2025 at 5:27 PM

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josh (oldfriend99)

@oldfriend99.bsky.social

(daft punk One More Time voice) Auld Lang Syne

December 26, 2025 at 3:39 PM

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The Daily Tism

@thedailytism.com

Ackerman is reportedly just sizing everyone up and looking for weaknesses they can exploit when Monopoly starts to heat up, which they believe is “as inevitable as death”.

“Quiet” autistic cousin just conserving energy to destroy everyone at board games

A "quiet" autistic relative is just preparing to absolutely decimate their family at board games, it has been reported. Des Ackerman, 21, has been silently observing the Christmas festivities since…

thedailytism.com

December 26, 2025 at 6:04 PM

Reposted by kit

Sam Bergman

@violanorth.bsky.social

12YO girl signed up to do “stand up comedy” at the talent show. 13YO boy decided to heckle her. Teacher started to tell the boy to leave her alone, but the 12YO comedian said “no, no, let him go, this is the closest he’s ever going to get to having a conversation with a girl.”