Jacob Whittaker
@vonfunkenstein.bsky.social
Grandson of slain Game Warden Bill Pogue. Veteran of Afghanistan and Iraq. Featured in Jake Tapper's THE OUTPOST: AN UNTOLD STORY OF VALOR. Combat Action Badge. Disabled vet. Father of four. Fears no coward. Go Cubs
Pinned
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
"If you don't call me cool and give me my lil award I'll kill as many people as possible out of spite" really does appear to be the driving animus of everyone in this administration and its adjacent oligarchy.
WH sources say Venezuela's opposition leader committed the "ultimate sin": She accepted the Nobel Peace prize.
“If she had turned it down and said, ‘I can’t accept it because it’s Donald Trump’s,’ she’d be the president of Venezuela today,” one said.
www.washingtonpost.com/national-sec...
“If she had turned it down and said, ‘I can’t accept it because it’s Donald Trump’s,’ she’d be the president of Venezuela today,” one said.
www.washingtonpost.com/national-sec...
January 5, 2026 at 3:28 AM
"If you don't call me cool and give me my lil award I'll kill as many people as possible out of spite" really does appear to be the driving animus of everyone in this administration and its adjacent oligarchy.
Finally, a video for intellectuals
January 4, 2026 at 10:47 PM
Finally, a video for intellectuals
Samoa Joe living his best life doing 40k lore videos
January 4, 2026 at 2:47 PM
Samoa Joe living his best life doing 40k lore videos
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
Boise is a progressive city no matter how many capital letters and stereotypes you throw at us.
January 4, 2026 at 1:26 PM
Boise is a progressive city no matter how many capital letters and stereotypes you throw at us.
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
Colombian President Petro commenting on the US;
“A clan of pedophiles wants to destroy our democracy. To keep Epstein's list from coming out, they send warships to kill fishermen & threaten our neighbor with invasion for their oil."
“A clan of pedophiles wants to destroy our democracy. To keep Epstein's list from coming out, they send warships to kill fishermen & threaten our neighbor with invasion for their oil."
January 4, 2026 at 3:40 AM
Colombian President Petro commenting on the US;
“A clan of pedophiles wants to destroy our democracy. To keep Epstein's list from coming out, they send warships to kill fishermen & threaten our neighbor with invasion for their oil."
“A clan of pedophiles wants to destroy our democracy. To keep Epstein's list from coming out, they send warships to kill fishermen & threaten our neighbor with invasion for their oil."
Coming back from a 21 pt deficit at halftime just to lose in triple overtime is such a gut punch. Go broncos :(
goddamnit how do you even show up to practice after this shit
January 4, 2026 at 6:18 AM
Coming back from a 21 pt deficit at halftime just to lose in triple overtime is such a gut punch. Go broncos :(
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
This analogy is so spot on.
the reason people sometimes act madder at democrats than republicans when republicans do impossibly evil shit is the same reason why, if you hired an exterminator to handle a roach infestation and he showed up to feed and play with them instead, your first instinct wouldn’t be to yell at the roaches
January 4, 2026 at 4:02 AM
This analogy is so spot on.
1985 Bears almost went undefeated in spite of their quarterbacks, the hell Aikman talking about
“You never win in spite of the quarterback”
-Troy Aikman
Uh the 2000 Ravens beg to differ.
-Troy Aikman
Uh the 2000 Ravens beg to differ.
January 4, 2026 at 3:37 AM
1985 Bears almost went undefeated in spite of their quarterbacks, the hell Aikman talking about
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
Greenland? Ugh.
Alright, what’s this about now?
OSINT accounts reporting that flight trackers show a lot of C-17s headed *east* to England from Savannah and Ft Campbell—homes of the ready Ranger battalion (1/75) and the 160th SOAR (which together would constitute DOD’s on-call airfield seizure package)
OSINT accounts reporting that flight trackers show a lot of C-17s headed *east* to England from Savannah and Ft Campbell—homes of the ready Ranger battalion (1/75) and the 160th SOAR (which together would constitute DOD’s on-call airfield seizure package)
January 4, 2026 at 1:52 AM
Greenland? Ugh.
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
everyone else in black alt jerseys: gorgeous, mysterious, tough
niners in black jerseys: trumpcore
niners in black jerseys: trumpcore
January 4, 2026 at 1:13 AM
everyone else in black alt jerseys: gorgeous, mysterious, tough
niners in black jerseys: trumpcore
niners in black jerseys: trumpcore
Teens have been enthralled with dark industrial pop from the late 90s the past few nights. That melodrama really is timeless when it comes to the teenage experience. The big hits so far:
-Garbage, #1 Crush
-NIN, Dead Souls
-Butthole Surfers, Pepper
-Filter, Hey Man Nice Shot
-The Cure, Burn
-Garbage, #1 Crush
-NIN, Dead Souls
-Butthole Surfers, Pepper
-Filter, Hey Man Nice Shot
-The Cure, Burn
January 4, 2026 at 12:57 AM
Teens have been enthralled with dark industrial pop from the late 90s the past few nights. That melodrama really is timeless when it comes to the teenage experience. The big hits so far:
-Garbage, #1 Crush
-NIN, Dead Souls
-Butthole Surfers, Pepper
-Filter, Hey Man Nice Shot
-The Cure, Burn
-Garbage, #1 Crush
-NIN, Dead Souls
-Butthole Surfers, Pepper
-Filter, Hey Man Nice Shot
-The Cure, Burn
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
babe wake up, they're doing insider trading on war crimes
“What appears to be a newly created account appeared to invest $30,000 Friday in Maduro's exit. After Maduro went into custody Saturday morning, that same investor netted $436,759.61.”
Someone made $400K by predicting Maduro's capture. Here's what happened
The winnings come as the rules governing prediction markets are still evolving.
www.axios.com
January 3, 2026 at 8:38 PM
babe wake up, they're doing insider trading on war crimes
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
Trump said the US will “run” Venezuela and take over its oil assets. He also threatened Cuba, Iran, and others.
There’s always money for war, regime change, and rebuilding another country’s oil industry, but somehow no money to help Americans afford health care, housing, or food.
There’s always money for war, regime change, and rebuilding another country’s oil industry, but somehow no money to help Americans afford health care, housing, or food.
January 3, 2026 at 6:05 PM
Trump said the US will “run” Venezuela and take over its oil assets. He also threatened Cuba, Iran, and others.
There’s always money for war, regime change, and rebuilding another country’s oil industry, but somehow no money to help Americans afford health care, housing, or food.
There’s always money for war, regime change, and rebuilding another country’s oil industry, but somehow no money to help Americans afford health care, housing, or food.
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
I swear to god, a kid I went to high school with who was posting the “Harris will send me to war” memes reposted this with “we’re so back”
Trump posts footage of the Maduro raid set to "Fortunate Son" -- a protest song about the Vietnam War draft
January 3, 2026 at 5:59 PM
I swear to god, a kid I went to high school with who was posting the “Harris will send me to war” memes reposted this with “we’re so back”
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
Trump: "They emptied out, if you think about it, they emptied out all of their mental institutions into our country." (Trump doesn't understand the difference between insane asylums and political asylum claims.)
January 3, 2026 at 2:45 PM
Trump: "They emptied out, if you think about it, they emptied out all of their mental institutions into our country." (Trump doesn't understand the difference between insane asylums and political asylum claims.)
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
Marco Rubio is reportedly saying Maduro will stand trial in US courts.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
January 3, 2026 at 10:52 AM
Marco Rubio is reportedly saying Maduro will stand trial in US courts.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
Which means it’s now the US administration’s position that US courts can hold foreign presidents, but not the US president, accountable for crimes.
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
They’re strip-searching children at school
January 3, 2026 at 1:53 AM
They’re strip-searching children at school
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
imagining Laura Loomer going to an Alabama football game and thinking all the women in the audience are Hamas
January 3, 2026 at 2:03 AM
imagining Laura Loomer going to an Alabama football game and thinking all the women in the audience are Hamas
Starting to realize "elites" means "educated poors who are too loud."
NEW from me:
Currently on tap for Tony Dokoupil on his first day as CBS Evening News anchor -- taking a private plane to Miami to so he can go jet skiing with DJ Khaled and play soccer with David Beckham.
Take that, elites!
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...
Currently on tap for Tony Dokoupil on his first day as CBS Evening News anchor -- taking a private plane to Miami to so he can go jet skiing with DJ Khaled and play soccer with David Beckham.
Take that, elites!
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...
Private jets and ‘Bari pitches’: Inside Weiss’ chaotic CBS Evening News reboot
EXCLUSIVE: The new CBS News editor-in-chief has chartered private flights for her armed security detail, made last-minute logistical changes and fired off ‘Bari Pitches.’ Weiss is once again accused o...
www.independent.co.uk
January 3, 2026 at 1:50 AM
Starting to realize "elites" means "educated poors who are too loud."
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
Barbra Streisand
January 3, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Barbra Streisand
Reposted by Jacob Whittaker
2026 is here: Heroes, assemble! Here’s to a year of victory and glory. 🥂
#MarvelRivals
#MarvelRivals
January 1, 2026 at 5:01 AM
2026 is here: Heroes, assemble! Here’s to a year of victory and glory. 🥂
#MarvelRivals
#MarvelRivals
The fucking whiplash Oregon is going to feel going from playing that Texas Tech offense to this Indiana offense...
January 2, 2026 at 5:23 AM
The fucking whiplash Oregon is going to feel going from playing that Texas Tech offense to this Indiana offense...