The Mom Hack
@themomhack.bsky.social
Mom brain is my superpower🦸🏻♀️👧🏼👶🏼 | As seen on a few places | Please excuse my sense of humor.
I thought using vacation days to take care of sick kids was the least restful way to use them. Then we went on a family vacation.
July 28, 2023 at 12:17 AM
I thought using vacation days to take care of sick kids was the least restful way to use them. Then we went on a family vacation.
My 1yo has hand foot and mouth and my phone showed me a photo two years ago today of my now 3yo with hand foot and mouth so I joked that in two years we could have a third kid with hand foot and mouth and it was the first time I’ve seen sheer terror register in my husband’s eyes.
July 26, 2023 at 6:54 PM
My 1yo has hand foot and mouth and my phone showed me a photo two years ago today of my now 3yo with hand foot and mouth so I joked that in two years we could have a third kid with hand foot and mouth and it was the first time I’ve seen sheer terror register in my husband’s eyes.
There is no one more energetic than a toddler five seconds after they recover from a virus.
July 26, 2023 at 11:52 AM
There is no one more energetic than a toddler five seconds after they recover from a virus.
Reposted by The Mom Hack
Every time you hear another parent at the playground saying 'ok but this is the last one' a piece of your soul dies
July 26, 2023 at 11:28 AM
Every time you hear another parent at the playground saying 'ok but this is the last one' a piece of your soul dies
“Sleep when the toddler sleeps” is the underrated sequel to “sleep when the baby sleeps”
July 25, 2023 at 11:07 AM
“Sleep when the toddler sleeps” is the underrated sequel to “sleep when the baby sleeps”
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Whoever designed toddlers really knew what they were doing. I left my 2yo alone for a minute and he completely trashed the room and when I walked in he just looked up at me all wide eyed with his arms out and goes, "What I dooed?"
July 19, 2023 at 12:04 PM
Whoever designed toddlers really knew what they were doing. I left my 2yo alone for a minute and he completely trashed the room and when I walked in he just looked up at me all wide eyed with his arms out and goes, "What I dooed?"
Ray-Bans: $150
Plumber to extract Ray-Bans from the depths of your toilet: $230
Wearing Ray-Bans that have been extracted from the depths of your toilet: priceless*
*$380
Plumber to extract Ray-Bans from the depths of your toilet: $230
Wearing Ray-Bans that have been extracted from the depths of your toilet: priceless*
*$380
July 19, 2023 at 7:45 PM
Ray-Bans: $150
Plumber to extract Ray-Bans from the depths of your toilet: $230
Wearing Ray-Bans that have been extracted from the depths of your toilet: priceless*
*$380
Plumber to extract Ray-Bans from the depths of your toilet: $230
Wearing Ray-Bans that have been extracted from the depths of your toilet: priceless*
*$380
It should be acceptable to abruptly leave Zoom calls that are unproductive and complete wastes of your time.
July 18, 2023 at 1:48 PM
It should be acceptable to abruptly leave Zoom calls that are unproductive and complete wastes of your time.
Reposted by The Mom Hack
Give kids something to do themselves to get out faster in the morning and take twice as long as a result.
July 5, 2023 at 10:33 AM
Give kids something to do themselves to get out faster in the morning and take twice as long as a result.
Reposted by The Mom Hack
Adulthood is equal parts ‘nobody can tell me what to do’ and ‘I wish someone would tell me what to do’
July 2, 2023 at 3:20 PM
Adulthood is equal parts ‘nobody can tell me what to do’ and ‘I wish someone would tell me what to do’
Reposted by The Mom Hack
I love how you can make a toddler’s day by gifting them with a grocery store receipt and telling them it’s theirs and they can keep it forever
July 3, 2023 at 12:34 PM
I love how you can make a toddler’s day by gifting them with a grocery store receipt and telling them it’s theirs and they can keep it forever
Me: *checking weather on phone*
3: Mommy, are you texting Peppa Pig?
Me:
3:
Me: Yes, we go way back.
3: Mommy, are you texting Peppa Pig?
Me:
3:
Me: Yes, we go way back.
July 3, 2023 at 2:23 AM
Me: *checking weather on phone*
3: Mommy, are you texting Peppa Pig?
Me:
3:
Me: Yes, we go way back.
3: Mommy, are you texting Peppa Pig?
Me:
3:
Me: Yes, we go way back.
Reposted by The Mom Hack
My 6yo asked if he could buy a pet, but when we said that he had no money he just responded with “that’s okay, I’ve got credit!”
July 3, 2023 at 1:26 AM
My 6yo asked if he could buy a pet, but when we said that he had no money he just responded with “that’s okay, I’ve got credit!”
Reposted by The Mom Hack
My daughter saw my mascara brand was called better than sex and asked what that meant so I said it meant better than secretaries cause they write and holy shit pray for me she doesn’t google it.
July 3, 2023 at 1:46 AM
My daughter saw my mascara brand was called better than sex and asked what that meant so I said it meant better than secretaries cause they write and holy shit pray for me she doesn’t google it.
Say what you will about “help” from a toddler. At least they want to be helpful, which is more than can be said about most adults.
July 2, 2023 at 1:24 AM
Say what you will about “help” from a toddler. At least they want to be helpful, which is more than can be said about most adults.
I noticed my husband seemed happy so I commented on it and now his happiness is ruined.
July 1, 2023 at 11:04 AM
I noticed my husband seemed happy so I commented on it and now his happiness is ruined.
Reposted by The Mom Hack
The Supreme Court ruled you should punch yourself square in the face
June 30, 2023 at 5:36 PM
The Supreme Court ruled you should punch yourself square in the face
Reposted by The Mom Hack
My 2yo got upset because he wanted a donut but after he ate it he realized he didn't have a donut anymore and I think we can all empathize with that
June 30, 2023 at 11:40 AM
My 2yo got upset because he wanted a donut but after he ate it he realized he didn't have a donut anymore and I think we can all empathize with that
Reposted by The Mom Hack
My son told me last night that he didn’t want lobster because he didn’t think eating animals was very nice.
“I’ll just have chicken instead.”
“I’ll just have chicken instead.”
June 30, 2023 at 3:57 PM
My son told me last night that he didn’t want lobster because he didn’t think eating animals was very nice.
“I’ll just have chicken instead.”
“I’ll just have chicken instead.”
Reposted by The Mom Hack
People: *exists*
Republicans: no, not like that
Republicans: no, not like that
June 30, 2023 at 3:17 PM
People: *exists*
Republicans: no, not like that
Republicans: no, not like that
Reposted by The Mom Hack
her: are you even listening to me?
me: what an odd conversation starter
me: what an odd conversation starter
June 30, 2023 at 9:46 PM
her: are you even listening to me?
me: what an odd conversation starter
me: what an odd conversation starter
Reposted by The Mom Hack
It’s the start of a long weekend! My wife is sick, my kids are sick and I’m sick. It’s gonna be a looooong weekend.
June 30, 2023 at 10:07 PM
It’s the start of a long weekend! My wife is sick, my kids are sick and I’m sick. It’s gonna be a looooong weekend.