Kevin The Dad
@kevinthedad.bsky.social
Husband. Dad of 2 funny kids. Writer of parenting LOLs.
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Latest: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xmyetrh3daqhgkeq6bakuxos/feed/aaakqqwzhzdp4
Greatest: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:xmyetrh3daqhgkeq6bakuxos/feed/aaakqotfwr2uy
There’s a daily battle to get my kids out the door for school. They don’t want to get their shoes on. I have to convince them that the temperature is below freezing to get their jackets on. They’re suddenly possessed by the irresistible urge to dance.
November 19, 2025 at 10:16 PM
There’s a daily battle to get my kids out the door for school. They don’t want to get their shoes on. I have to convince them that the temperature is below freezing to get their jackets on. They’re suddenly possessed by the irresistible urge to dance.
I taught my kid every dance move I know and that's why he's a terrible dancer as well
November 19, 2025 at 1:24 AM
I taught my kid every dance move I know and that's why he's a terrible dancer as well
My 3yo is playing restaurant with me and she’s asking me what I want to eat. She grabbed a few toys to use as food options she’d cook and here’s what’s on offer:
1. Triceratops
2. Police officer
3. Sprinkles
4. Antibiotics
1. Triceratops
2. Police officer
3. Sprinkles
4. Antibiotics
November 1, 2025 at 7:15 PM
My 3yo is playing restaurant with me and she’s asking me what I want to eat. She grabbed a few toys to use as food options she’d cook and here’s what’s on offer:
1. Triceratops
2. Police officer
3. Sprinkles
4. Antibiotics
1. Triceratops
2. Police officer
3. Sprinkles
4. Antibiotics
Reposted by Kevin The Dad
My 2yo thinks not wearing shoes or socks is called “doing bear feet” because bears don’t wear shoes. DO NOT EXPLAIN TO HER SHE IS WRONG EVER.
October 28, 2025 at 2:53 PM
My 2yo thinks not wearing shoes or socks is called “doing bear feet” because bears don’t wear shoes. DO NOT EXPLAIN TO HER SHE IS WRONG EVER.
Reposted by Kevin The Dad
“don’t put a baby in the toilet!” - words of wisdom from my son (almost 4) at 6:35 AM
October 25, 2025 at 1:38 PM
“don’t put a baby in the toilet!” - words of wisdom from my son (almost 4) at 6:35 AM
Waiting for my kid to get ready in the morning is like watching a sloth in slow motion
October 23, 2025 at 5:28 PM
Waiting for my kid to get ready in the morning is like watching a sloth in slow motion
Reposted by Kevin The Dad
Good morning my children just came to me and politely asked if it was ok if they tied a rope to a houseplant and swung it around.
October 22, 2025 at 12:06 PM
Good morning my children just came to me and politely asked if it was ok if they tied a rope to a houseplant and swung it around.
“I don’t want stickers on anything” says my 3yo who puts stickers on everything
October 18, 2025 at 11:25 PM
“I don’t want stickers on anything” says my 3yo who puts stickers on everything
My kid finished his weekend homework on a Thursday, therefore making me look like a great parent, so I needed to tell everyone about it because I may never experience this high again.
October 16, 2025 at 10:52 PM
My kid finished his weekend homework on a Thursday, therefore making me look like a great parent, so I needed to tell everyone about it because I may never experience this high again.
I tried offering my 3yo some carrot slices. I even called them carrot chips to make them sound more enticing. She was not fooled by my shenanigans and will not be eating any carrots.
September 27, 2025 at 3:49 PM
I tried offering my 3yo some carrot slices. I even called them carrot chips to make them sound more enticing. She was not fooled by my shenanigans and will not be eating any carrots.
We went to a theme park today and walked past one of the games. My kid said “Oh, I know that game! It’s a scam!” I don’t know how he knew that, but I’m sure he was right.
September 14, 2025 at 5:57 PM
We went to a theme park today and walked past one of the games. My kid said “Oh, I know that game! It’s a scam!” I don’t know how he knew that, but I’m sure he was right.
I’ve reached the stage of parenting where I keep mixing up my kids’ names
September 3, 2025 at 10:41 PM
I’ve reached the stage of parenting where I keep mixing up my kids’ names
If my 3yo were to stop eating blueberries, I’m not sure the blueberry industry would recover. She eats so many of them that she’s gotta be responsible for 90% of their profits.
September 1, 2025 at 9:51 PM
If my 3yo were to stop eating blueberries, I’m not sure the blueberry industry would recover. She eats so many of them that she’s gotta be responsible for 90% of their profits.
There’s no such thing as a quick trip to the playground for a preschooler. It’s their favourite place in the world, so you’re in for the long haul.
September 1, 2025 at 4:00 PM
There’s no such thing as a quick trip to the playground for a preschooler. It’s their favourite place in the world, so you’re in for the long haul.
Reposted by Kevin The Dad
I kind of hate playing pretend with my kids but listening to my kids play pretend without me, I could listen to them all day.
August 31, 2025 at 7:33 PM
I kind of hate playing pretend with my kids but listening to my kids play pretend without me, I could listen to them all day.
Reposted by Kevin The Dad
My 2yo didn’t want to get out of bed this morning so she pretended her legs wouldn’t work, and I’ve never related to anything more.
August 28, 2025 at 11:08 PM
My 2yo didn’t want to get out of bed this morning so she pretended her legs wouldn’t work, and I’ve never related to anything more.
My toddler told me that I’m the boss and then we all had a good laugh because that’s so far from the truth
August 28, 2025 at 9:42 PM
My toddler told me that I’m the boss and then we all had a good laugh because that’s so far from the truth
Reposted by Kevin The Dad
shoutout to the dad I passed this morning accompanying his daughter on the walk to school, carrying her hello kitty backpack and singing every word to “golden” from K-pop demon hunters
August 28, 2025 at 3:20 PM
shoutout to the dad I passed this morning accompanying his daughter on the walk to school, carrying her hello kitty backpack and singing every word to “golden” from K-pop demon hunters
I’ve been home for 5 minutes and my 3yo is already calling me “the worst silly moose” but I promise I’m not
August 26, 2025 at 9:35 PM
I’ve been home for 5 minutes and my 3yo is already calling me “the worst silly moose” but I promise I’m not
Reposted by Kevin The Dad
Kid 1 is playing pretend with a toy campfire set; he cut up a log and placed four pieces in a frame and placed the flames in the center. Kid 2 went to scout camp this summer, so I asked, “Kid 2, any tips for Kid 1 as he builds the fire?”
“Yeah,” says Kid 2, “Don’t put your hands in the fire”
“Yeah,” says Kid 2, “Don’t put your hands in the fire”
August 25, 2025 at 11:35 PM
Kid 1 is playing pretend with a toy campfire set; he cut up a log and placed four pieces in a frame and placed the flames in the center. Kid 2 went to scout camp this summer, so I asked, “Kid 2, any tips for Kid 1 as he builds the fire?”
“Yeah,” says Kid 2, “Don’t put your hands in the fire”
“Yeah,” says Kid 2, “Don’t put your hands in the fire”
My 3yo keeps asking me to take photos of her at the playground. Then she asks to see it and when I show her, she says “oOoOoOh good one daddy!”
August 24, 2025 at 5:42 PM
My 3yo keeps asking me to take photos of her at the playground. Then she asks to see it and when I show her, she says “oOoOoOh good one daddy!”
Reposted by Kevin The Dad
I asked my kid what he’d like to wear for the first day of school.
“Um, I think…the picnic table shirt.”
Gingham, he chose a gingham patterned button down
“Um, I think…the picnic table shirt.”
Gingham, he chose a gingham patterned button down
August 21, 2025 at 7:53 PM
I asked my kid what he’d like to wear for the first day of school.
“Um, I think…the picnic table shirt.”
Gingham, he chose a gingham patterned button down
“Um, I think…the picnic table shirt.”
Gingham, he chose a gingham patterned button down
My kid loves to say "hey look at this" but whatever he's trying to show me is always obscured from my view and only he can see it
August 22, 2025 at 8:33 PM
My kid loves to say "hey look at this" but whatever he's trying to show me is always obscured from my view and only he can see it
Reposted by Kevin The Dad
My kids no longer fit in carts yet I still find myself lightly rocking mine every time I idle in the grocery store to make sure no one cries
August 22, 2025 at 7:49 PM
My kids no longer fit in carts yet I still find myself lightly rocking mine every time I idle in the grocery store to make sure no one cries
Reposted by Kevin The Dad
Me: A nurse at this surgery center let me sleep for a couple extra hours after my procedure because she knew I had little kids
Receptionist: …
Me: I still have little kids
Receptionist: Wanting a nap is not a valid reason to have surgery, ma’am
Receptionist: …
Me: I still have little kids
Receptionist: Wanting a nap is not a valid reason to have surgery, ma’am
August 21, 2025 at 10:55 AM
Me: A nurse at this surgery center let me sleep for a couple extra hours after my procedure because she knew I had little kids
Receptionist: …
Me: I still have little kids
Receptionist: Wanting a nap is not a valid reason to have surgery, ma’am
Receptionist: …
Me: I still have little kids
Receptionist: Wanting a nap is not a valid reason to have surgery, ma’am