Apple Hat
@anapplehat.bsky.social
Parenting realness, memes + humour
Reposted by Apple Hat
There is no one more energetic than a toddler five seconds after they recover from a virus.
July 26, 2023 at 11:52 AM
There is no one more energetic than a toddler five seconds after they recover from a virus.
Reposted by Apple Hat
I try my best to entertain my kids but I’ll never be able to compete with a neighbourhood squirrel eating an apple
July 26, 2023 at 11:26 PM
I try my best to entertain my kids but I’ll never be able to compete with a neighbourhood squirrel eating an apple
Every time you hear another parent at the playground saying 'ok but this is the last one' a piece of your soul dies
July 26, 2023 at 11:28 AM
Every time you hear another parent at the playground saying 'ok but this is the last one' a piece of your soul dies
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If I see someone I know walking down the street, I need to be 100% certain I know who it is and 150% certain they know who I am. Then maybe I’ll give a subtle nod or say a quick hello. My 6yo sees a friend a block away, starts waving his arms in the air and yelling “HI ASHLEIGH!”
July 22, 2023 at 11:12 PM
If I see someone I know walking down the street, I need to be 100% certain I know who it is and 150% certain they know who I am. Then maybe I’ll give a subtle nod or say a quick hello. My 6yo sees a friend a block away, starts waving his arms in the air and yelling “HI ASHLEIGH!”
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I bought a friend's grandkid a teether that said "I laugh at Dad Jokes"
Big kid asks "what's a dad joke?"
"you know, like when you say 'iiim hungry' and dad says" hi hungry, I'm dad"
"so a dad joke is a joke that's not funny?"
Big kid asks "what's a dad joke?"
"you know, like when you say 'iiim hungry' and dad says" hi hungry, I'm dad"
"so a dad joke is a joke that's not funny?"
July 23, 2023 at 2:11 AM
I bought a friend's grandkid a teether that said "I laugh at Dad Jokes"
Big kid asks "what's a dad joke?"
"you know, like when you say 'iiim hungry' and dad says" hi hungry, I'm dad"
"so a dad joke is a joke that's not funny?"
Big kid asks "what's a dad joke?"
"you know, like when you say 'iiim hungry' and dad says" hi hungry, I'm dad"
"so a dad joke is a joke that's not funny?"
Reposted by Apple Hat
After your kid has a bath, you should always make sure you check if the ceiling is wet. This was not something I knew that I needed to check for.
July 20, 2023 at 11:48 PM
After your kid has a bath, you should always make sure you check if the ceiling is wet. This was not something I knew that I needed to check for.
Whoever designed toddlers really knew what they were doing. I left my 2yo alone for a minute and he completely trashed the room and when I walked in he just looked up at me all wide eyed with his arms out and goes, "What I dooed?"
July 19, 2023 at 12:04 PM
Whoever designed toddlers really knew what they were doing. I left my 2yo alone for a minute and he completely trashed the room and when I walked in he just looked up at me all wide eyed with his arms out and goes, "What I dooed?"
Reposted by Apple Hat
🎶
My own two kids are killing me
I must confess, they will not sleep
When it’s their bedtime I lose my mind
Just close your eyes
Fall asleep, it’s your bedtime!
🎶
My own two kids are killing me
I must confess, they will not sleep
When it’s their bedtime I lose my mind
Just close your eyes
Fall asleep, it’s your bedtime!
🎶
July 15, 2023 at 11:41 PM
🎶
My own two kids are killing me
I must confess, they will not sleep
When it’s their bedtime I lose my mind
Just close your eyes
Fall asleep, it’s your bedtime!
🎶
My own two kids are killing me
I must confess, they will not sleep
When it’s their bedtime I lose my mind
Just close your eyes
Fall asleep, it’s your bedtime!
🎶
I told my husband to watch our toddler closely while I was out as he'd been particularly wild that day and as I was leaving I swear I heard my husband muttering to himself, "I don't feel safe".
July 15, 2023 at 1:56 PM
I told my husband to watch our toddler closely while I was out as he'd been particularly wild that day and as I was leaving I swear I heard my husband muttering to himself, "I don't feel safe".
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My toddler has discovered this new thing that makes her laugh uncontrollably and it’s watching her parents try to swat a fly
July 14, 2023 at 7:33 PM
My toddler has discovered this new thing that makes her laugh uncontrollably and it’s watching her parents try to swat a fly
Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything
July 14, 2023 at 12:07 PM
Rule #1 of the parenting code: it is now acceptable to use baby wipes to clean everything
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I asked my 6yo if he knew what he was doing and he said no, but I’m not allowed to say he doesn’t know what he’s doing “because that’s horrifying!”
July 14, 2023 at 1:04 AM
I asked my 6yo if he knew what he was doing and he said no, but I’m not allowed to say he doesn’t know what he’s doing “because that’s horrifying!”
Reposted by Apple Hat
7: mama, I will eat everything you pack in my lunch
me: that’s wonderful
7: except the things I don’t like
me: there it is
me: that’s wonderful
7: except the things I don’t like
me: there it is
July 13, 2023 at 1:44 PM
7: mama, I will eat everything you pack in my lunch
me: that’s wonderful
7: except the things I don’t like
me: there it is
me: that’s wonderful
7: except the things I don’t like
me: there it is
Reposted by Apple Hat
Every morning my kids play this fun game called let’s slam the door on each other until one of us loses a finger.
July 13, 2023 at 4:00 PM
Every morning my kids play this fun game called let’s slam the door on each other until one of us loses a finger.
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I told my husband he can’t do yard work every weekend because we need to make memories while the kids are young, so now apparently we’ll be cleaning out the gutters as a family next weekend
July 13, 2023 at 10:34 PM
I told my husband he can’t do yard work every weekend because we need to make memories while the kids are young, so now apparently we’ll be cleaning out the gutters as a family next weekend
Parents: Nice to meet you, this is our little darling
Kids:
Kids:
July 13, 2023 at 2:09 PM
Parents: Nice to meet you, this is our little darling
Kids:
Kids:
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Sure I get out as a mom, just this month I’ve seen the pediatrician, the pediatric ENT, the pharmacist and urgent care
July 12, 2023 at 12:43 PM
Sure I get out as a mom, just this month I’ve seen the pediatrician, the pediatric ENT, the pharmacist and urgent care
If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn't work last time the universe will just be like lol nice try dummy
July 12, 2023 at 12:26 PM
If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn't work last time the universe will just be like lol nice try dummy
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I’m convinced all toddlers trained at Cobra Kai. They strike first, they strike hard, and they show no mercy.
July 11, 2023 at 11:30 PM
I’m convinced all toddlers trained at Cobra Kai. They strike first, they strike hard, and they show no mercy.
My 2yo was swinging a wooden spoon around and it hit me in the head so I told him "please be gentle with that." He paused for a minute then started petting the spoon like it was a cat.
July 11, 2023 at 2:16 PM
My 2yo was swinging a wooden spoon around and it hit me in the head so I told him "please be gentle with that." He paused for a minute then started petting the spoon like it was a cat.
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Sorry, I can’t, I’m busy planning a bandaid intervention for my kids
July 11, 2023 at 12:24 PM
Sorry, I can’t, I’m busy planning a bandaid intervention for my kids
Reposted by Apple Hat
Used this car wash 15 times this summer and my car is still filthy.
Giving my 4 year old one star, but will still use again because she works for popsicles.
Giving my 4 year old one star, but will still use again because she works for popsicles.
July 11, 2023 at 1:52 PM
Used this car wash 15 times this summer and my car is still filthy.
Giving my 4 year old one star, but will still use again because she works for popsicles.
Giving my 4 year old one star, but will still use again because she works for popsicles.
Reposted by Apple Hat
I was sitting on the couch and had both kids snuggled on top of me. They must have thought I was mommy or something.
July 10, 2023 at 11:10 PM
I was sitting on the couch and had both kids snuggled on top of me. They must have thought I was mommy or something.