Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
@spiraldee.bsky.social
The most useless woman on the internet.
GenX snarkbeast.
Chaos Muse (aka 'next level weirdness magnet').
In a perpetual state of too much or too little coffee.
Not as interesting as the conspiracy theories about me might make one think.
GenX snarkbeast.
Chaos Muse (aka 'next level weirdness magnet').
In a perpetual state of too much or too little coffee.
Not as interesting as the conspiracy theories about me might make one think.
Pinned
I need a pinned tweet, and it's just going to have to be 'newfound favorite phrases'.
'shoot and scoot operations' is, I feel, an appropriate inaugural entry.
'shoot and scoot operations' is, I feel, an appropriate inaugural entry.
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
I will never get over how amazingly self-indulgent that title was for a book about getting (more/slightly) famous for jerking off over the iPhone with one of the vilest nepo babies America has ever produced.
In terms of ratings, Bari Weiss has produced the AMERICAN CANTO of broadcast television
This is a pleasant surprise - it's the kind of thing that doesn't always seem to break through beyond very online audiences and I'm happy to see that the kind of people who still watch CBS News - not exactly the online crowd - recognize what a fucking mess it is.
January 14, 2026 at 11:55 AM
I will never get over how amazingly self-indulgent that title was for a book about getting (more/slightly) famous for jerking off over the iPhone with one of the vilest nepo babies America has ever produced.
Welcome to being a woman, boys.
Some teen boys are determined to grow more muscular to match their social media idols. Gym-going and manipulating their diet can become compulsive — and dangerous. n.pr/49rrKGo
Young men want to get big. For some, it's becoming an obsession
Some teen boys are determined to grow more muscular to match their social media idols. Gym-going and manipulating their diet can become compulsive — and dangerous.
n.pr
January 14, 2026 at 11:50 AM
Welcome to being a woman, boys.
Sleep is really just a thing for other people at this point.
January 14, 2026 at 11:44 AM
Sleep is really just a thing for other people at this point.
I guess sometimes it's worth noting I'm somehow still here, no matter how much I would really just rather not be.
Broadly.
If I don't go full Joker inside the week, consider it a fucking miracle.
Broadly.
If I don't go full Joker inside the week, consider it a fucking miracle.
January 14, 2026 at 7:29 AM
I guess sometimes it's worth noting I'm somehow still here, no matter how much I would really just rather not be.
Broadly.
If I don't go full Joker inside the week, consider it a fucking miracle.
Broadly.
If I don't go full Joker inside the week, consider it a fucking miracle.
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
I do low-key love that this next phase of American life is just gonna be sponsored by "alcohol"
New: CBS News seems to be preparing a new segment called "Whiskey Fridays with Tony Dokoupil," per sources.
Some staff were only first made aware of it as they encountered CBS testing out set designs of a faux-stocked bar in the newsroom, featuring a large sponsor banner for Jack Daniels.
Some staff were only first made aware of it as they encountered CBS testing out set designs of a faux-stocked bar in the newsroom, featuring a large sponsor banner for Jack Daniels.
January 14, 2026 at 6:24 AM
I do low-key love that this next phase of American life is just gonna be sponsored by "alcohol"
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
It's been a while since I saw someone less mourned than Scott Adams. Not a judgment, just an observation. And maybe a warning.
January 14, 2026 at 4:23 AM
It's been a while since I saw someone less mourned than Scott Adams. Not a judgment, just an observation. And maybe a warning.
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
I like to think that Trump was like, "Terrific. So much is going on. No one's thinking about the Epstein files anymore," and then some guy was like, "Pedophile protector!"
January 14, 2026 at 4:47 AM
I like to think that Trump was like, "Terrific. So much is going on. No one's thinking about the Epstein files anymore," and then some guy was like, "Pedophile protector!"
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
This is a warband of lawless marauders, and it's stupid to think of them as an agency we are obligated to underwrite with taxes
Yes, immigration agents not only took Arnoldo's phone, the 10th grader had to use Find My Phone to locate it — in a vending machine for used electronics, close to an ICE detention center.
Read the full story here:
www.propublica.org/article/vide...
Read the full story here:
www.propublica.org/article/vide...
January 14, 2026 at 1:07 AM
This is a warband of lawless marauders, and it's stupid to think of them as an agency we are obligated to underwrite with taxes
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
More training isn't going to keep people from acting like damn Sturmabteilung brownshirts.
January 13, 2026 at 12:48 AM
More training isn't going to keep people from acting like damn Sturmabteilung brownshirts.
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
"Your papers, please" is such a villainous regime trope in the entertainment media that we grew up in, that not even being as polite about doing the trope on camera seems like it should be bad optics—at least—but one good look at DHS social media makes it clear that's exactly what they're selling.
January 13, 2026 at 3:06 PM
"Your papers, please" is such a villainous regime trope in the entertainment media that we grew up in, that not even being as polite about doing the trope on camera seems like it should be bad optics—at least—but one good look at DHS social media makes it clear that's exactly what they're selling.
Agents of the Trump Administration have murdered Good, and boast of the righteousness of the act.
That is all there is to say; it is a perfect summary.
That is all there is to say; it is a perfect summary.
January 12, 2026 at 10:15 PM
Agents of the Trump Administration have murdered Good, and boast of the righteousness of the act.
That is all there is to say; it is a perfect summary.
That is all there is to say; it is a perfect summary.
Fucking back off again but I had to peek at the protest advice thread for a good laugh after getting a glimpse of it, and... y'all?
Absolutely more people needed to see @descendedmaster.bsky.social's kick-ass photos and art from the Philly vigil a few nights back. They are genuinely incredible.
Absolutely more people needed to see @descendedmaster.bsky.social's kick-ass photos and art from the Philly vigil a few nights back. They are genuinely incredible.
January 11, 2026 at 3:44 AM
Fucking back off again but I had to peek at the protest advice thread for a good laugh after getting a glimpse of it, and... y'all?
Absolutely more people needed to see @descendedmaster.bsky.social's kick-ass photos and art from the Philly vigil a few nights back. They are genuinely incredible.
Absolutely more people needed to see @descendedmaster.bsky.social's kick-ass photos and art from the Philly vigil a few nights back. They are genuinely incredible.
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
Always wear your dazzle makeup. It won't stop facial recognition but will make you look like you were trying to be cool in 2015.
January 11, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Always wear your dazzle makeup. It won't stop facial recognition but will make you look like you were trying to be cool in 2015.
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
properly aging your eye milk is the key to all successful revolutions. everyone knows this
January 11, 2026 at 12:44 AM
properly aging your eye milk is the key to all successful revolutions. everyone knows this
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
Last spring I spent two hours working on a social media graphic explainer of why you don't sit down at a protest & then realized it was pointless & took a diazepam instead.
January 11, 2026 at 12:36 AM
Last spring I spent two hours working on a social media graphic explainer of why you don't sit down at a protest & then realized it was pointless & took a diazepam instead.
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
Reposted by Deanna the Suburban Housewitch
I'm alive out here, there's just not a single thought in my head that should be shared right now.
Unfortunately, I don't see that changing any time soon. I posted about this on the substack, but wanted to make sure the 'fucking off for the time being' was here, too.
<fucks off>
Unfortunately, I don't see that changing any time soon. I posted about this on the substack, but wanted to make sure the 'fucking off for the time being' was here, too.
<fucks off>
January 10, 2026 at 3:05 AM
I'm alive out here, there's just not a single thought in my head that should be shared right now.
Unfortunately, I don't see that changing any time soon. I posted about this on the substack, but wanted to make sure the 'fucking off for the time being' was here, too.
<fucks off>
Unfortunately, I don't see that changing any time soon. I posted about this on the substack, but wanted to make sure the 'fucking off for the time being' was here, too.
<fucks off>
The search for a new comfort watch is going about as well as expected.
elmo says take me lucifer while standing in front of flames
ALT: elmo says take me lucifer while standing in front of flames
media.tenor.com
January 5, 2026 at 2:47 PM
The search for a new comfort watch is going about as well as expected.