Simon.
@simonashton.bsky.social
Scottish-born American. A joy of a human.
@wadeywade.bsky.social politically, life's not great in South Carolina right now, but loving this as my way to escape. It's significantly funnier than Orwell's version.
May 9, 2025 at 8:21 PM
@wadeywade.bsky.social politically, life's not great in South Carolina right now, but loving this as my way to escape. It's significantly funnier than Orwell's version.
Reposted by Simon.
This is just to say
I know you said
You were saving
The plums
But what if
Someone
Were allergic to everything BUT plums
Or literally couldn't
Buy plums
Of their own?
What if
My father
Died
Of plum lackage
And your selfish plum hoarding
Retraumatised me?
I ate them
And you must do better.
I know you said
You were saving
The plums
But what if
Someone
Were allergic to everything BUT plums
Or literally couldn't
Buy plums
Of their own?
What if
My father
Died
Of plum lackage
And your selfish plum hoarding
Retraumatised me?
I ate them
And you must do better.
January 19, 2025 at 10:19 PM
This is just to say
I know you said
You were saving
The plums
But what if
Someone
Were allergic to everything BUT plums
Or literally couldn't
Buy plums
Of their own?
What if
My father
Died
Of plum lackage
And your selfish plum hoarding
Retraumatised me?
I ate them
And you must do better.
I know you said
You were saving
The plums
But what if
Someone
Were allergic to everything BUT plums
Or literally couldn't
Buy plums
Of their own?
What if
My father
Died
Of plum lackage
And your selfish plum hoarding
Retraumatised me?
I ate them
And you must do better.
Reposted by Simon.
First film/last film
January 1, 2025 at 6:45 PM
First film/last film
@mattzollerseitz.bsky.social @meganabbott.bsky.social my favourite gift of the day. Happy Christmas to you both
December 25, 2024 at 8:52 PM
@mattzollerseitz.bsky.social @meganabbott.bsky.social my favourite gift of the day. Happy Christmas to you both
Reposted by Simon.
If anyone wants a bit of wholesomeness on this cold and barren Monday morning, here’s Real Betis fans raining down thousands of stuffed toys for disadvantaged children in their annual Christmas tradition
December 23, 2024 at 9:29 AM
If anyone wants a bit of wholesomeness on this cold and barren Monday morning, here’s Real Betis fans raining down thousands of stuffed toys for disadvantaged children in their annual Christmas tradition
Reposted by Simon.
Great victory for the Irish this. I was rooting for you 🇮🇪
December 18, 2024 at 3:13 PM
Great victory for the Irish this. I was rooting for you 🇮🇪
@maeganvaz.bsky.social happy Christmas!
December 9, 2024 at 7:39 PM
@maeganvaz.bsky.social happy Christmas!
@stevenhyden.bsky.social Just finished The Dockumentary, so good! Only had the vaguest concept of yacht rock going into it, but it was so entertaining. Really well made. Congrats.
December 4, 2024 at 4:01 AM
@stevenhyden.bsky.social Just finished The Dockumentary, so good! Only had the vaguest concept of yacht rock going into it, but it was so entertaining. Really well made. Congrats.
Reposted by Simon.
“No worries if not” -President Yoon Suk Yeol
December 3, 2024 at 8:14 PM
“No worries if not” -President Yoon Suk Yeol
Reposted by Simon.
shout out to kendrick lamar for making this the Worst Week Alive for every single hot dog stand employee
December 1, 2024 at 1:22 AM
shout out to kendrick lamar for making this the Worst Week Alive for every single hot dog stand employee
Reposted by Simon.
The Ring is a film about the importance of looking after your emotional well-being
November 27, 2024 at 7:56 PM
The Ring is a film about the importance of looking after your emotional well-being
I'm sure everyone remembers this. Probably the most significant thing which happened in March 2020
November 27, 2024 at 7:18 PM
I'm sure everyone remembers this. Probably the most significant thing which happened in March 2020
Reposted by Simon.
This is probably fine…
November 22, 2024 at 12:27 PM
This is probably fine…
Reposted by Simon.
Driving myself insane by imagining Ken Burns saying "History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes" about Harambe and P'nut.
November 5, 2024 at 2:55 AM
Driving myself insane by imagining Ken Burns saying "History doesn't repeat itself, but it rhymes" about Harambe and P'nut.
@quantick.bsky.social absolutely loved your appearance on Perfect Night In. Do with that what you will, I suppose.
October 27, 2024 at 3:08 AM
@quantick.bsky.social absolutely loved your appearance on Perfect Night In. Do with that what you will, I suppose.
Reposted by Simon.
Imagine being Barack Obama and not even being the best speaker in your family
August 21, 2024 at 2:46 AM
Imagine being Barack Obama and not even being the best speaker in your family
Reposted by Simon.
When they go low, we curb stomp them.
August 21, 2024 at 2:56 AM
When they go low, we curb stomp them.
I'd forgotten what this feels like
August 21, 2024 at 2:55 AM
I'd forgotten what this feels like
Reposted by Simon.
Each line sounds like a Brooklyn band from the mid-‘00s.
Watching The With Situation Wolf Room Blitzer. I have yet to see any Situation Wolves or any Room Blitzing. Would really like to see that Wolf Room, but no. Two thumbs down.
August 9, 2024 at 1:56 AM
Each line sounds like a Brooklyn band from the mid-‘00s.
"literally everyone reckons a rich guy must be looking for a trad chick"
“Basically, overall the times were mid.”
I can’t think of a clever caption for this. It just breaks my fucking heart.
June 29, 2024 at 6:10 PM
"literally everyone reckons a rich guy must be looking for a trad chick"
Reposted by Simon.
“Basically, overall the times were mid.”
I can’t think of a clever caption for this. It just breaks my fucking heart.
June 29, 2024 at 5:32 PM
“Basically, overall the times were mid.”
Make a band less mild
Beastly Boys
Beastly Boys
Make a band less mild
They Most Definitely Are Giants
They Most Definitely Are Giants
make a band less mild
ten thousand fuckin maniacs
ten thousand fuckin maniacs
June 15, 2024 at 2:11 AM
Make a band less mild
Beastly Boys
Beastly Boys
Reposted by Simon.
June 9, 2024 at 3:11 PM