𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
@schmezi.bsky.social
• professional dummy • mediocre human
skeeters: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fwhlncsnmbxsosqip5lnxvx4/feed/aaacjuk65ny2e
skeeters: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:fwhlncsnmbxsosqip5lnxvx4/feed/aaacjuk65ny2e
it doesn’t matter anyways
November 17, 2025 at 2:01 PM
it doesn’t matter anyways
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
I used to work at Subway and when someone would ask to speak to the manager, I’d just go in the back and eat slices of turkey until they left.
January 18, 2025 at 7:11 PM
I used to work at Subway and when someone would ask to speak to the manager, I’d just go in the back and eat slices of turkey until they left.
if the earth was flat i would have already jumped off this bitch
January 18, 2025 at 7:56 PM
if the earth was flat i would have already jumped off this bitch
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
The replies are coming from inside the stupid.
January 13, 2025 at 11:02 PM
The replies are coming from inside the stupid.
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
My plans for this weekend include finding a raccoon to shampoo.
January 16, 2025 at 10:00 PM
My plans for this weekend include finding a raccoon to shampoo.
girls don’t want you to send them flowers, they want you to send them to the moon
January 16, 2025 at 10:01 PM
girls don’t want you to send them flowers, they want you to send them to the moon
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
In the 80s, kids didn’t have cell phones, so we ended up stuck in a lot of wells.
January 16, 2025 at 2:59 AM
In the 80s, kids didn’t have cell phones, so we ended up stuck in a lot of wells.
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
i don’t want to keep calm and carry on i want to shoot lasers out of my eyes
January 15, 2025 at 7:18 PM
i don’t want to keep calm and carry on i want to shoot lasers out of my eyes
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
sex is not enough i need a cheesy gordita crunch
January 15, 2025 at 7:47 PM
sex is not enough i need a cheesy gordita crunch
the way i’m not living in a goth mansion with a creepy butler is so rude
January 15, 2025 at 6:37 PM
the way i’m not living in a goth mansion with a creepy butler is so rude
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
I bet it’s okay to eat a little bit of lava
January 15, 2025 at 4:16 AM
I bet it’s okay to eat a little bit of lava
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
It’s not that I’m too shy to show my body, it’s that I’m gross.
Still punk af, tho.
Still punk af, tho.
January 15, 2025 at 12:17 AM
It’s not that I’m too shy to show my body, it’s that I’m gross.
Still punk af, tho.
Still punk af, tho.
sorry about the cold front, my soul escaped
January 14, 2025 at 10:24 PM
sorry about the cold front, my soul escaped
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
Ziplock bags don’t zip or lock anymore. This country is going to hell.
January 13, 2025 at 12:37 AM
Ziplock bags don’t zip or lock anymore. This country is going to hell.
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
Better than you know or worse than you could imagine? I try to be both.
January 13, 2025 at 10:51 PM
Better than you know or worse than you could imagine? I try to be both.
sorry can’t, my raven said nevermore
January 13, 2025 at 10:10 PM
sorry can’t, my raven said nevermore
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
The more you compare me to a potato, the stronger I become.
January 11, 2025 at 7:03 PM
The more you compare me to a potato, the stronger I become.
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
I got out of bed. Please clap.
January 12, 2025 at 7:06 PM
I got out of bed. Please clap.
Reposted by 𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔪𝔢𝔷𝔦
inside of you are 21 Jump Streets
January 12, 2025 at 5:00 AM
inside of you are 21 Jump Streets