Hundo P
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sarco.bsky.social
Hundo P
@sarco.bsky.social
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One of the funniest self owns is people complaining about how dumb people are at the airport and not realizing there's a separate airport for smart people they aren't invited to
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I took those triangle shaped pieces out of my cat's Meow Mix and boy did she get pissed.
October 17, 2025 at 12:55 PM
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It was a scene right out of a time standing still, you asking me to pause it, me having already paused it as I'll never want any of our moments to end and actually I hit play again in the eternity it took you to ask, but it's over. We miss fighting in blockbuster
November 4, 2025 at 5:40 AM
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Well aren’t you just the brightest firefly in the jar…
November 4, 2025 at 11:35 AM
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Them: *nothing*
Me: OK so my socks are mismatched cause when I lose a cute one I feel sad to throw it away so that’s why one’s a Rottweiler & the other says OZZY
November 4, 2025 at 12:04 PM
Was saddened to hear of Dick Cheney's passing. In his honor I'll be killing a shit load of people for money.
November 5, 2025 at 3:08 AM
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It is my sincere belief that my office chair is ruining my body and possibly my entire life
November 4, 2025 at 5:08 PM
You should be able to have as much daylight as you want, like you should be able to order it off a menu like you can with the weather
November 4, 2025 at 1:22 AM
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In Hell there are no good haircuts.
November 3, 2025 at 8:37 PM
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I look at pistachios w such lust & crave that they just start flyin outta their shells. I don’t even have to break em, like calm the hell down—ur nuts
November 3, 2025 at 1:01 PM
Google maps should include the time it takes to clear the peasantry from the outer bailey in the eta
November 3, 2025 at 7:18 PM
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When a kid asks you why bad things happen to good ppl you gotta tell em that’s how superheroes are made
November 3, 2025 at 1:57 PM
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I can't complain but that's a very recent development, moments ago I recorded a complaint so I could complain along with it in stereo
November 3, 2025 at 4:49 PM
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Home renonation
November 2, 2025 at 7:36 AM
Leaving healthy snacks out for the Time Goblins this year
November 3, 2025 at 1:38 AM
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I don't want AI. I want to stop filling out my entire medical history every time I go to the same doctor
November 2, 2025 at 11:33 PM
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Me: read it again but this time do the voices

Priest:

Whole Congregation: VOICES! 👏VOICES! 👏VOICES!👏
November 1, 2025 at 10:24 PM
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Don’t forget to set your clocks aside tonight. Forget them in the back of the sock drawer. Box them unlabeled in the attic for ten unopened years. Hit snooze and bury them twelve feet deep in the backyard.
November 1, 2025 at 10:55 PM
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Give us Lord our daily fiber. Forgive us our diets' lack of fruits and vegetables. Save us from the leftover Halloween candy. Now and Later, Good & Plenty. Amen.
November 2, 2025 at 2:45 AM
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I hate when ppl are like wanna hear a scary story like no I will fuck you up
November 2, 2025 at 12:52 PM
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How did Zeppelin remaster the Houses of the Holy album when it was already so god damn masterful it’s just these things that I wonder
November 2, 2025 at 2:48 PM
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How do I know that reality is just a human construct well for fun I said hey a squirrel with a subpar personality! and I didn't get a rejection letter
November 2, 2025 at 4:49 PM
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ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS GOO.
November 2, 2025 at 6:39 PM
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Went through your photos looking for recent pictures of you, but ended up liking all your wounds.
November 2, 2025 at 11:34 PM
Celebrated halloween this year by blowing up a dozen eggs in the microwave
November 3, 2025 at 1:15 AM