Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
@samposnick.com
Well, I think they should be called *good* posts, actually.
Illustrator and creative professional, but I also enjoy extremely stupid things. A real mixed bag. Available for commercial work.
IG: @samposnick
www.samposnick.com
Illustrator and creative professional, but I also enjoy extremely stupid things. A real mixed bag. Available for commercial work.
IG: @samposnick
www.samposnick.com
Pinned
Behold! I have finished one (1) card! Surely I’ll end up making changes later to unify things but for now this black crowned crane as emperor is a good start.
Laughing because I still own this book and just referred to it as "my bible" in an instagram story video about 3 hours ago.
January 2, 2026 at 12:49 AM
Laughing because I still own this book and just referred to it as "my bible" in an instagram story video about 3 hours ago.
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
Happy first and third-to-last day of your journal
January 1, 2026 at 8:44 PM
Happy first and third-to-last day of your journal
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
What's the most ominous word or phrase that's been stuck in your head for more than 20 years?
For me, it's the dated audio format "OGG VORBIS". Villain-ass audio format name.
For me, it's the dated audio format "OGG VORBIS". Villain-ass audio format name.
January 1, 2026 at 7:32 PM
What's the most ominous word or phrase that's been stuck in your head for more than 20 years?
For me, it's the dated audio format "OGG VORBIS". Villain-ass audio format name.
For me, it's the dated audio format "OGG VORBIS". Villain-ass audio format name.
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
This year I’m going to be kinder, more positive, work harder, and put more faith in myself until the very first minor obstacle throws me off for the next 350+ days
January 1, 2026 at 5:13 PM
This year I’m going to be kinder, more positive, work harder, and put more faith in myself until the very first minor obstacle throws me off for the next 350+ days
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
when god sings with his creations will lemon pigs not be part of the choir
January 1, 2026 at 7:38 AM
when god sings with his creations will lemon pigs not be part of the choir
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
Me: I'm going to spend some time reflecting on New Year's Day.
Secret Dracula: Me too. I love reflecting and I love the day.
Secret Dracula: Me too. I love reflecting and I love the day.
December 31, 2025 at 11:02 PM
Me: I'm going to spend some time reflecting on New Year's Day.
Secret Dracula: Me too. I love reflecting and I love the day.
Secret Dracula: Me too. I love reflecting and I love the day.
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
Dance like no one is watching. Like no one came to your dance recital. Your dad? He completely forgot. How do you feel? No, don't tell me. Show me.
September 26, 2023 at 6:41 PM
Dance like no one is watching. Like no one came to your dance recital. Your dad? He completely forgot. How do you feel? No, don't tell me. Show me.
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
Outlook for the new year ...
December 31, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Outlook for the new year ...
The gall of Philip, looking this good still when he barely brought us any luck in 2025.
December 31, 2025 at 10:04 PM
The gall of Philip, looking this good still when he barely brought us any luck in 2025.
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
Shoutout to all the creatives and thinkers who've made it to
the end of 2025 with dignity intact.
It hasn't been nice for a giant chunk of the world --- including people whom you thought would know better --- to decide that you are replaceable or worthless, when the opposite is clearly the case.
the end of 2025 with dignity intact.
It hasn't been nice for a giant chunk of the world --- including people whom you thought would know better --- to decide that you are replaceable or worthless, when the opposite is clearly the case.
December 31, 2025 at 7:10 PM
Shoutout to all the creatives and thinkers who've made it to
the end of 2025 with dignity intact.
It hasn't been nice for a giant chunk of the world --- including people whom you thought would know better --- to decide that you are replaceable or worthless, when the opposite is clearly the case.
the end of 2025 with dignity intact.
It hasn't been nice for a giant chunk of the world --- including people whom you thought would know better --- to decide that you are replaceable or worthless, when the opposite is clearly the case.
I have these champagne coupe glasses and they’re so great at parties. The wine just jumps out of them straight into the mouths of my shorter friends, thus strengthening our bonds.
December 31, 2025 at 7:26 PM
I have these champagne coupe glasses and they’re so great at parties. The wine just jumps out of them straight into the mouths of my shorter friends, thus strengthening our bonds.
*sigh*
December 31, 2025 at 5:22 PM
*sigh*
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
My only new years resolution is to start wearing a long cool dangly feather earring on one side only. Well I guess that and to win back custody of my estranged son. But that's planned to be largely by proving to the family court judge how much I've leveled up my feather jewelry game.
December 31, 2025 at 6:14 AM
My only new years resolution is to start wearing a long cool dangly feather earring on one side only. Well I guess that and to win back custody of my estranged son. But that's planned to be largely by proving to the family court judge how much I've leveled up my feather jewelry game.
I just say, mute ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out, you know?
December 30, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I just say, mute ‘em all and let God sort ‘em out, you know?
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
"if I pronounce a word wrong, it's because I learned it by reading," I say through tears as my wife's step son roundly mocks me for saying "The Wizard of Ounce"
December 30, 2025 at 11:25 PM
"if I pronounce a word wrong, it's because I learned it by reading," I say through tears as my wife's step son roundly mocks me for saying "The Wizard of Ounce"
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
This was masterful. RIP Mike F.
"its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do" is one of my all time favorite tweets, but as a public service I share this tumblr collection of the entire 26-tweet reply chain it was part of (courtesy of haywire4) www.tumblr.com/haywire4/173...
![mikefossey: Check this shit out motherfucker [I slide one foot out from under me and fall on my ass, its not clear what kind of move I was trying to do]
DinkMagic: Ever seen this before [I throw my hat like a frisbee 10 feet away and jump over near it]
mikefossey: [I run down a flight of stairs, stop at the second to last step, I pause, and then I jump the last two steps. I do not land it]
DinkMagic: [i throw a grape up in the air and open my mouth but i get scared that i breathed in some fluff and start choking violently]
mikefossey: [I'm doing a mime act where I pretend to pull on a rope but I somehow accidentally grab a real rope and I pull myself off stage]
DinkMagic: [im cooking an omelette and i flip the pan and snatch the omelette out of the air with my hand burning myself] tadaa](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreicpeii4u2iirkgscaerpb5tltbs4ohykg2obbvchzo56pjzo4juie@jpeg)
![mikefossey: [I kick some dust at a guy after losing an argument but the dust flies up into my mouth and I cough so hard I barf]
DinkMagic: [my friend says im going to the store toss me your keys but i see a strange bird and instead throw my wallet in the ditch]
mikefossey: [guy passes me on the highway and flips me off, I throw a full cup of coffee at my own windshield and it spills all over the car]
DinkMagic: [i toss an apple into my elbow-pit to bounce it back out but i miss and try to bite it out of the air but bite my tongue]
mikefossey: [I try to throw a beer can into the recycle but it hits the trash can instead and it's still mostly full so it knocks it over]
DinkMagic: [2 girls are arguing i say here let me solve this and i flip a gold coin i bought on ebay so hard it breaks a fluorescent tube](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreid5fec634tvopl2nybom2l7yrys7hrqbgrpq5gneukqiwt3zm44qu@jpeg)
![mikefossey: [I ask the guy at the store to recommend me a beer and he talks to me for 23 minutes before he realizes i think beer is wine]
DinkMagic: [i ask to be excused from dinner to do homework & then phone my mom because i broke my wrist playing street fighter at 7-11]
mikefossey: [I bite a gold coin to see if it's real, but it's chocolate. I try to play it cool and eat the whole thing without unwrapping it]
DinkMagic: [a teams softball rolls near me] i got this my friends a cuban pitcher [i throw the ball into the back of my own head & faint]
mikefossey: Here, let me park for you, Im really good at parallel parking [i walk over to the driver side and slam my dick in the car door]
DinkMagic: [i testify under oath that i thought a mortgage was a special kind of measuring tape]
mikefossey: [I'm cracking my knuckles and limbering up to fight but then a guy who's on his way to another fight accidentally knocks me over]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreihgywpjsvklyn2mdkfnvn2e4rknldwwa6brmtfkfkrpimkjj76tp4@jpeg)
![DinkMagic: [i ask the butcher for two pounds of boneless chicken Brent]
mikefossey: [at a dinner party I lean on the grand piano while telling a story, but the lid is open and I fall into it, hitting every string]
DinkMagic: [i get anxious at a fancy bar and order a martini and then say "could you imagine if this was soup" to no one really loud]
mikefossey: I try to open a beer with a lighter but I shatter the bottle and cut my hand, and also light my shirt on fire with the lighter]
DinkMagic: [i ride up on my new dirtbike revving it, and set the kickstand down on my own foot and start crying]
mikefossey: [I get water up my nose while I'm doing the dishes and knock my glasses into the garbage disposal when I go to rub my nose]
DinkMagic: [i get angry that I got confused & told an Italian that pizza came from Russia I drive to little Caesars & throw a stone at it](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:jir6yritppwxbc3wy6mdbngv/bafkreifw77g6afsgy7rhshwknw4kcdgujwj4al6ymbwiawohrn6wc5hpme@jpeg)
December 30, 2025 at 6:58 PM
This was masterful. RIP Mike F.
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
This looks like Sinbad died and got reincarnated as a chair.
December 30, 2025 at 3:40 AM
This looks like Sinbad died and got reincarnated as a chair.
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
boyfriend couldn’t understand what they’re saying in Eminence Front and guessed “livin in the dump”
March 24, 2025 at 4:45 AM
boyfriend couldn’t understand what they’re saying in Eminence Front and guessed “livin in the dump”
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
as an adult and accomplished person who has succeeded at several important things in life, whenever i am challenged with a new dilemma, i like to take two steps back, gather my breath and say "are you fuckin kidding me right now, what the fuck"
December 29, 2025 at 7:43 PM
as an adult and accomplished person who has succeeded at several important things in life, whenever i am challenged with a new dilemma, i like to take two steps back, gather my breath and say "are you fuckin kidding me right now, what the fuck"
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
Gathering my robot grandchildren around the flickering image of a woodstove while I tell them about all the tweets I used to think were funny.
December 29, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Gathering my robot grandchildren around the flickering image of a woodstove while I tell them about all the tweets I used to think were funny.
Gathering my robot grandchildren around the flickering image of a woodstove while I tell them about all the tweets I used to think were funny.
December 29, 2025 at 4:19 PM
Gathering my robot grandchildren around the flickering image of a woodstove while I tell them about all the tweets I used to think were funny.
Reposted by Sam "The Patron Saint of Weirdos" Posnick
Just saw your man mixed in with a trash mob. Saw your man and he doesnt even have a top of screen health bar
December 28, 2025 at 3:46 AM
Just saw your man mixed in with a trash mob. Saw your man and he doesnt even have a top of screen health bar