Petty Bait Machine
@planarpunk.com
Just your average MCU/NFL/D&D/Yakuza/Spice World superfan.
Everything should be much much gayer.
Don't blame me, I voted for Nader
Everything should be much much gayer.
Don't blame me, I voted for Nader
Reposted by Petty Bait Machine
Reposted by Petty Bait Machine
This is huge—by the end of their journey, the prediction market was 99% certain that “Will they make it?” would resolve to a YES. One early bettor was looking at a six-figure payout. And then, at the very last second, for seemingly no reason at all, Orpheus turned.
January 8, 2026 at 5:40 PM
This is huge—by the end of their journey, the prediction market was 99% certain that “Will they make it?” would resolve to a YES. One early bettor was looking at a six-figure payout. And then, at the very last second, for seemingly no reason at all, Orpheus turned.
I referred to the giant pile of laundry as "the Laundstrosity" recently.
I was certain I'd heard it somewhere and it was a common phrase but I can't find it anywhere, so I offer it up to all three of the people who will read this.
I was certain I'd heard it somewhere and it was a common phrase but I can't find it anywhere, so I offer it up to all three of the people who will read this.
January 8, 2026 at 5:40 PM
I referred to the giant pile of laundry as "the Laundstrosity" recently.
I was certain I'd heard it somewhere and it was a common phrase but I can't find it anywhere, so I offer it up to all three of the people who will read this.
I was certain I'd heard it somewhere and it was a common phrase but I can't find it anywhere, so I offer it up to all three of the people who will read this.
Reposted by Petty Bait Machine
CNN graphics put the asterisk in the wrong place, it appears…
January 8, 2026 at 2:24 AM
CNN graphics put the asterisk in the wrong place, it appears…
SOMEONE GREENLIGHT THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW
Gritty modern reboot of The Little Rascals where they all live in a streamer house together.
Al F. Alpha and he's an Andrew Tate-esque figure now and such.
Al F. Alpha and he's an Andrew Tate-esque figure now and such.
January 6, 2026 at 9:39 PM
SOMEONE GREENLIGHT THIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW
If the Seahawks beat the Rams due to Darnold fucking up twice in one play, I don't think I can even be mad. It's way too funny.
December 19, 2025 at 4:05 AM
If the Seahawks beat the Rams due to Darnold fucking up twice in one play, I don't think I can even be mad. It's way too funny.
I'm getting reports that the Rams superiority is once again generating controversy. :(
December 15, 2025 at 4:26 AM
I'm getting reports that the Rams superiority is once again generating controversy. :(
She Ladd muh Conkey til I Just in her Bert. #LAChargers
December 9, 2025 at 4:03 AM
She Ladd muh Conkey til I Just in her Bert. #LAChargers
Can you believe there were fools who tried to tell me I could only wear this shirt once?
December 8, 2025 at 11:31 PM
Can you believe there were fools who tried to tell me I could only wear this shirt once?
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It's time someone takes They Might Be Giants to task for their support for TERFs (writing a positive song about bangs)
December 6, 2025 at 6:37 AM
It's time someone takes They Might Be Giants to task for their support for TERFs (writing a positive song about bangs)
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Piece of shit former Sacramento Sheriff's deputy Marvin Morales committed suicide by cop today in disgrace. A lying, scumfuck pig who locked people up for using the drugs that he stole from them and used himself.
A genuine shame that he had to hurt others on his way out. What a joke of a man.
A genuine shame that he had to hurt others on his way out. What a joke of a man.
December 2, 2025 at 11:57 PM
Piece of shit former Sacramento Sheriff's deputy Marvin Morales committed suicide by cop today in disgrace. A lying, scumfuck pig who locked people up for using the drugs that he stole from them and used himself.
A genuine shame that he had to hurt others on his way out. What a joke of a man.
A genuine shame that he had to hurt others on his way out. What a joke of a man.
Reposted by Petty Bait Machine
*finding out she likes bad boys* yeah, I got a live vaccine even though I take Ebglyss.
November 30, 2025 at 7:10 AM
*finding out she likes bad boys* yeah, I got a live vaccine even though I take Ebglyss.
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Oh and at one point, one cop pepper-sprayed another cop. (Around the 12-second mark.)
November 29, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Oh and at one point, one cop pepper-sprayed another cop. (Around the 12-second mark.)
I'm making a moon crater for my final, 20th level session of my 4-year long 5e Dungeons and Dragons campaign and wanted to share the in-progress pictures (in part because it'll keep me working so I don't slack off 😂)
Next steps: first coat of plaster, then add bottlecaps to create smaller craters.
Next steps: first coat of plaster, then add bottlecaps to create smaller craters.
November 28, 2025 at 7:15 PM
I'm making a moon crater for my final, 20th level session of my 4-year long 5e Dungeons and Dragons campaign and wanted to share the in-progress pictures (in part because it'll keep me working so I don't slack off 😂)
Next steps: first coat of plaster, then add bottlecaps to create smaller craters.
Next steps: first coat of plaster, then add bottlecaps to create smaller craters.
Reposted by Petty Bait Machine
Hate to be posting this on a holiday, but there's been renewed interest in the CIA-backed Zero Units in Afghanistan. Here's a good summary of @propublica.org's 2022 reporting on the units and just some of the civilian casualties they were responsible for:
What We Know About U.S.-Backed Zero Units in Afghanistan
Deadly night raids. Faulty U.S. intelligence. A “classified” war loophole. Reporter Lynzy Billing’s investigation offers an unprecedented insight into the civilian casualties of Afghanistan’s Zero Uni...
www.propublica.org
November 28, 2025 at 2:11 AM
Hate to be posting this on a holiday, but there's been renewed interest in the CIA-backed Zero Units in Afghanistan. Here's a good summary of @propublica.org's 2022 reporting on the units and just some of the civilian casualties they were responsible for:
Reposted by Petty Bait Machine
Reminder: frozen turkey cooks best in the deep fryer
November 27, 2025 at 6:15 PM
Reminder: frozen turkey cooks best in the deep fryer
USian is funny and goofy and definitely unnecessary, but the discourse around it starts to approach "honkey is a slur" very quickly.
November 27, 2025 at 5:28 PM
USian is funny and goofy and definitely unnecessary, but the discourse around it starts to approach "honkey is a slur" very quickly.
Reposted by Petty Bait Machine
Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
November 26, 2025 at 1:04 PM
Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷
Reposted by Petty Bait Machine
on your first day in prison, go up to the biggest inmate in there and ask them for the syllabus- it's actually more helpful than you think
November 25, 2025 at 9:06 PM
on your first day in prison, go up to the biggest inmate in there and ask them for the syllabus- it's actually more helpful than you think