Peter Wagner (a Real Dr., not a surgeon-barber/body-tech/golfer)
@peterjwagner3.bsky.social
Computational Paleobiologist, Lord of Chaos & Entropy, Cubs Fan, Estranged Lover of 🐌 & self-proclaimed Bilbo Baggins of Paleontology. Opinions & sarcasm mine & mine alone, but model-based. I block apologists for the South, MAGA, etc. He/Him.
Pinned
Peter Wagner (a Real Dr., not a surgeon-barber/body-tech/golfer)
@peterjwagner3.bsky.social
· Nov 10
From Darwins' Day 2019:
(((🦈((🐟,(🐡,🐠)),(🐸,(((((((👩🎓🦍),🙉),🐒),(🐰,(🐿️🐀))),(🦔,(🦇,(((((🐅🐈),(🐻🦊)),🦡),(🦏🦓)),((🦙🐫),((🐖🐗),((🦛,(🐋🐬)),(🦒,(🦌,(🐮🐐))))))))),🐘),(🐨🦘)),(🐢((🦎🐍),(🐊,(🦕,(((🦆,(🐓🦃)),(🕊,(🐧,(🐦,(🦉🦅)))),🦖))))))),⭐️),((🕷️🦂),(((🦀🦞),🦐),(🦗,(🐞🦋),(🐜🐝))))),(🐙🐌)))
(((🦈((🐟,(🐡,🐠)),(🐸,(((((((👩🎓🦍),🙉),🐒),(🐰,(🐿️🐀))),(🦔,(🦇,(((((🐅🐈),(🐻🦊)),🦡),(🦏🦓)),((🦙🐫),((🐖🐗),((🦛,(🐋🐬)),(🦒,(🦌,(🐮🐐))))))))),🐘),(🐨🦘)),(🐢((🦎🐍),(🐊,(🦕,(((🦆,(🐓🦃)),(🕊,(🐧,(🐦,(🦉🦅)))),🦖))))))),⭐️),((🕷️🦂),(((🦀🦞),🦐),(🦗,(🐞🦋),(🐜🐝))))),(🐙🐌)))
Insert the Simpson's meme here. You know which one...
2026 has a lot to live up to. Can it continue the ten-year streak of every year being the worst year ever?
December 30, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Insert the Simpson's meme here. You know which one...
Baby dinosaurs are butt ugly…
Get in we're baby gull posting. 🪶🐣
December 30, 2025 at 5:43 AM
Baby dinosaurs are butt ugly…
Siri: show me a rhetorical question.
Whose inauguration?
Trump on the ballroom: "It's bigger than I told you. It's, you know -- after realizing we're gonna do the inauguration in that building, it's got all bulletproof glass, it's got all drone, they call it drone-free roof. It's dronessss -- won't touch it. It's a big beautiful safe building."
December 30, 2025 at 5:35 AM
Siri: show me a rhetorical question.
Trump’s entire presidency is a (cartoon) book taken from the Confederacy.
Trump’s Takeover of Education Is Taking A Page From the Confederacy talkingpointsmemo.com/news/trump-e...
Trump’s Takeover of Education Is Taking A Page From the Confederacy
The thread of partisan power and control is stitched through America’s public...
talkingpointsmemo.com
December 29, 2025 at 9:10 PM
Trump’s entire presidency is a (cartoon) book taken from the Confederacy.
Sauron used bad priors, as Gandalf explained.
Sauron was not only evil, he got distracted and his defenses failed
Sauron is appearing on the scene as concerns rise about crime among the most wealthy.
December 29, 2025 at 4:22 AM
Sauron used bad priors, as Gandalf explained.
Just wait to he hits “I just shampooed reading glasses out of my hair” years old…
December 29, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Just wait to he hits “I just shampooed reading glasses out of my hair” years old…
The only appropriate thing to do with Faulkner’s knife is to cut yourself badly while futilely trying to improve your life.
"I own William Faulker's cake knife," a sentence that is both straightforward and true, and yet sounds completely deranged
December 28, 2025 at 6:24 PM
The only appropriate thing to do with Faulkner’s knife is to cut yourself badly while futilely trying to improve your life.
Kids, don't do acid...
December 28, 2025 at 12:56 AM
Kids, don't do acid...
The Sugar Fit Bowl will follow 10 minutes later…
The Pop-Tarts Bowl is tomorrow. Let’s break down the two teams of Edible Mascots. www.theomnicosm.com/team-sprinkl...
Review: Team Sprinkles or Team Swirls? For the Pop-Tarts Bowl, we get to pick the, um, winner.
The Pop-Tarts Limited-Edition Team Sprinkles vs Team Swirls Tailgate Pack includes all six flavors ... one of which will be sacrificed.
www.theomnicosm.com
December 27, 2025 at 4:52 AM
The Sugar Fit Bowl will follow 10 minutes later…
But not fast enough!
US 'unchurching' marks the 'fastest religious shift in modern history'
www.rawstory.com/alternet-pos...
www.rawstory.com/alternet-pos...
US 'unchurching' marks the 'fastest religious shift in modern history'
Far-right Christian nationalists are feeling empowered during Donald Trump's second presidency. Idaho-based evangelical Christ Church, led by pastor Doug Wilson — who believes that women never should ...
www.rawstory.com
December 27, 2025 at 4:17 AM
But not fast enough!
It cannot be worse than my "Highlander Christmas Special" script, with the infamous "There can be only one, Kringle..." line.
(I mean, seriously, nothing could be worse, at least for scripts.)
(I mean, seriously, nothing could be worse, at least for scripts.)
SANTA: Rudolph? Is that you?
(PREDATOR decloaks, revealing the glow to be his targeting laser!)
SANTA: Gulp.
(PREDATOR fires, hitting an ALIEN right behind SANTA!)
SANTA: Maybe I can put you on the “Nice” list after all.
PREDATOR: Thanks, Santa. Also, I talk now.
buff.ly/bGV0IgK
(PREDATOR decloaks, revealing the glow to be his targeting laser!)
SANTA: Gulp.
(PREDATOR fires, hitting an ALIEN right behind SANTA!)
SANTA: Maybe I can put you on the “Nice” list after all.
PREDATOR: Thanks, Santa. Also, I talk now.
buff.ly/bGV0IgK
Excerpts from My Rejected Script, Alien vs. Predator Save Christmas
Page 7 INT. SANTA’S WORKSHOP (SANTA oversees elves working hard to make toys. Nothing could possibly ruin this scene of Christmas magic.) SANTA: Go...
www.mcsweeneys.net
December 27, 2025 at 1:50 AM
It cannot be worse than my "Highlander Christmas Special" script, with the infamous "There can be only one, Kringle..." line.
(I mean, seriously, nothing could be worse, at least for scripts.)
(I mean, seriously, nothing could be worse, at least for scripts.)
And here’s the whole tree: finished with 13 hours to go!
We vary which Solstice Holiday to celebrate each year, but we’re going back to a traditional FuckTrumpanalia.
We vary which Solstice Holiday to celebrate each year, but we’re going back to a traditional FuckTrumpanalia.
December 24, 2025 at 11:21 PM
And here’s the whole tree: finished with 13 hours to go!
We vary which Solstice Holiday to celebrate each year, but we’re going back to a traditional FuckTrumpanalia.
We vary which Solstice Holiday to celebrate each year, but we’re going back to a traditional FuckTrumpanalia.
What does one do with a childhood’s worth of Yule stuffties at childhood’s end? Turn them into seasonal decorations!
December 24, 2025 at 9:28 PM
What does one do with a childhood’s worth of Yule stuffties at childhood’s end? Turn them into seasonal decorations!
Oft evil will shall evil mar…
New in PN: Heritage Foundation killed by MAGA
"RIP to the Heritage Foundation, which functionally died this week, as its most prominent staffers made a beeline for the exit.
The Suspect: Trump and his posse of online shitposters.
The weapon: Antisemitism.
The room: Phoenix Convention Center."
"RIP to the Heritage Foundation, which functionally died this week, as its most prominent staffers made a beeline for the exit.
The Suspect: Trump and his posse of online shitposters.
The weapon: Antisemitism.
The room: Phoenix Convention Center."
Heritage Foundation killed by MAGA
Antisemitism in the GOP? The devil you say!
www.publicnotice.co
December 24, 2025 at 2:54 PM
Oft evil will shall evil mar…
Lol, we used to argue about this when I was a kid. Most of my friends were lucky enough to have non-religious parents, so they didn’t know about Advent or Epiphany or that the latter was called 12th Night for a reason. (Or, at all!)
My parents claimed that when they were young, people had XMas…
My parents claimed that when they were young, people had XMas…
Contrary to many arguments I've had over the years, the Twelve Days of Christmas starts ON Christmas. Not the twelve days running up to it...ON Christmas.
I found this, which I really like!
I found this, which I really like!
December 23, 2025 at 2:43 PM
Lol, we used to argue about this when I was a kid. Most of my friends were lucky enough to have non-religious parents, so they didn’t know about Advent or Epiphany or that the latter was called 12th Night for a reason. (Or, at all!)
My parents claimed that when they were young, people had XMas…
My parents claimed that when they were young, people had XMas…
Well, I turned in grades for GEOL 105 for the last time today. I have Concorde Effect nostalgia: 7 years ago, I put in more all-nighters in one-term to put the class together than I put in during my entire undergrad career! I never really enjoyed teaching it, but I hate losing the effort.
December 21, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Well, I turned in grades for GEOL 105 for the last time today. I have Concorde Effect nostalgia: 7 years ago, I put in more all-nighters in one-term to put the class together than I put in during my entire undergrad career! I never really enjoyed teaching it, but I hate losing the effort.
why, oh why, does nobody do expedited shipping anymore? I realized on Friday that two XMas gifts that I ordered weeks before are not going to get here this week. Now I cannot find anything comparable that will let me pay for overnight shipping.
(And I'll happily pay! Just GIVE ME THE OPTION!!!!)
(And I'll happily pay! Just GIVE ME THE OPTION!!!!)
December 21, 2025 at 8:20 PM
why, oh why, does nobody do expedited shipping anymore? I realized on Friday that two XMas gifts that I ordered weeks before are not going to get here this week. Now I cannot find anything comparable that will let me pay for overnight shipping.
(And I'll happily pay! Just GIVE ME THE OPTION!!!!)
(And I'll happily pay! Just GIVE ME THE OPTION!!!!)
It’s hard to get a better name for a Trump administration member than “Blanche.” Weis and Gwynn really should be there, too…
Blanche says Maxwell was transferred for her safety because she received numerous threats. I’m sorry, do you move someone to LOWER security in those instances?
WELKER: Why was Ghislaine Maxwell moved just days after you interviewed her?
BLANCHE: That's a Bureau of Prisons security issue that I will not talk about
WELKER: Did you have anything to do with it?
BLANCHE: I am responsible for the Bureau of Prisons, so every decision they make lands on my desk
BLANCHE: That's a Bureau of Prisons security issue that I will not talk about
WELKER: Did you have anything to do with it?
BLANCHE: I am responsible for the Bureau of Prisons, so every decision they make lands on my desk
December 21, 2025 at 3:58 PM
It’s hard to get a better name for a Trump administration member than “Blanche.” Weis and Gwynn really should be there, too…
Another nickel! That’s a lot of them now…
December 21, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Another nickel! That’s a lot of them now…
Weird. I know that I cite incorrectly sometimes, mostly due to my misremembering a key point as coming from paper X rather than paper Y. But I cite purely through my extensive 33 year old EndNote file!
But it wouldn’t occur to me to use a source other than my cluttered memory!
But it wouldn’t occur to me to use a source other than my cluttered memory!
I just fundamentally don't understand how you write a paper without checking sources or a brief without checking citations.
I cannot fathom it
I cannot fathom it
Closing out my year with a journal editor shocker 🧵
Checking new manuscripts today I reviewed a paper attributing 2 papers to me I did not write. A daft thing for an author to do of course. But intrigued I web searched up one of the titles and that's when it got real weird...
Checking new manuscripts today I reviewed a paper attributing 2 papers to me I did not write. A daft thing for an author to do of course. But intrigued I web searched up one of the titles and that's when it got real weird...
December 20, 2025 at 1:37 PM
Weird. I know that I cite incorrectly sometimes, mostly due to my misremembering a key point as coming from paper X rather than paper Y. But I cite purely through my extensive 33 year old EndNote file!
But it wouldn’t occur to me to use a source other than my cluttered memory!
But it wouldn’t occur to me to use a source other than my cluttered memory!
No, it did not: this is exactly what it was intended to do when it started 44+ years ago.
Trickle down economics has failed www.nytimes.com/2025/12/19/o...
Opinion | Mitt Romney: Tax the Rich, Like Me
www.nytimes.com
December 20, 2025 at 1:04 PM
No, it did not: this is exactly what it was intended to do when it started 44+ years ago.
In fairness, most of his followers probably cannot.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Beyond parody.
We have an attorney general who is covering up the Epstein Files and a President who is proud he could identify a giraffe
Beyond parody.
We have an attorney general who is covering up the Epstein Files and a President who is proud he could identify a giraffe
December 20, 2025 at 6:56 AM
In fairness, most of his followers probably cannot.
I would dope up on Benadryl before going to bars in the late '80s. When I got home, I'd spray a primitive version of Febreze all over my clothes. If I didn't, then I'd wake up with a raging headache regardless of how much I drank! (And if I did, then I usually woke up feeling fine.)
80sUxed...
80sUxed...
this is a good reminder of how things that are shitty but have been accepted as normal and inevitable can actually turn out to be abnormal and evitable with some science, time, education and political will
December 19, 2025 at 9:57 PM
I would dope up on Benadryl before going to bars in the late '80s. When I got home, I'd spray a primitive version of Febreze all over my clothes. If I didn't, then I'd wake up with a raging headache regardless of how much I drank! (And if I did, then I usually woke up feeling fine.)
80sUxed...
80sUxed...
Sadly, that is a winning argument. A huge chunk of Americans (and probably an overwhelming majority) truly believe that government jobs are sinecures and that all Trump really has done is get government employees off of very lucrative welfare.
Trump: "The only reason our unemployment tucked up and went up to 4.5 percent [it's actually 4.6 percent] is because we are reducing the government workforce by numbers that have never been seen before."
December 19, 2025 at 7:45 PM
Sadly, that is a winning argument. A huge chunk of Americans (and probably an overwhelming majority) truly believe that government jobs are sinecures and that all Trump really has done is get government employees off of very lucrative welfare.
Well, in “good” news, UNL moves faster than I expected and I’m officially moving to the School of Biological Sciences full time (I’m already 40% there) in January 2026.
That said, I will *never* forgive the university for what it did. I probably won’t be able to do much more than put up flags for…
That said, I will *never* forgive the university for what it did. I probably won’t be able to do much more than put up flags for…
December 19, 2025 at 4:02 PM
Well, in “good” news, UNL moves faster than I expected and I’m officially moving to the School of Biological Sciences full time (I’m already 40% there) in January 2026.
That said, I will *never* forgive the university for what it did. I probably won’t be able to do much more than put up flags for…
That said, I will *never* forgive the university for what it did. I probably won’t be able to do much more than put up flags for…