Parentball
@parentball.bsky.social
Parenting humor. Dumb jokes. Dumber puns.
Humor writing: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/authors/michael-ward & https://medium.com/@mikeward08 & https://www.pointsincase.com/author/michael-ward
Building a game for parents: www.parentball.com (Reboots in 2026)
Humor writing: https://www.mcsweeneys.net/authors/michael-ward & https://medium.com/@mikeward08 & https://www.pointsincase.com/author/michael-ward
Building a game for parents: www.parentball.com (Reboots in 2026)
Pinned
The date is January 1, 2042. Summer camp registration opens at 6 am for the summer of 2067
January 1, 2026 at 4:05 PM
The date is January 1, 2042. Summer camp registration opens at 6 am for the summer of 2067
Happy New Year, everyone! May 2026 be a better year. (Here’s the video from our 6th annual neighborhood ball drop.)
January 1, 2026 at 2:55 AM
Happy New Year, everyone! May 2026 be a better year. (Here’s the video from our 6th annual neighborhood ball drop.)
Bro, do you even turn into gollum when you find an overlooked piece of peppermint bark in the back of the drawer?
December 31, 2025 at 1:11 AM
Bro, do you even turn into gollum when you find an overlooked piece of peppermint bark in the back of the drawer?
This furniture store bookshelf display goes hard
December 30, 2025 at 7:15 PM
This furniture store bookshelf display goes hard
Be ready, you are approaching the final boss of 2025
December 30, 2025 at 2:41 AM
Be ready, you are approaching the final boss of 2025
We’re 2.5% through the millennium. Are you 2.5% of the way to your goals for 3000? If not, there’s still time to rise and grind
December 29, 2025 at 6:18 PM
We’re 2.5% through the millennium. Are you 2.5% of the way to your goals for 3000? If not, there’s still time to rise and grind
Reposted by Parentball
We have entered Phase 2 of winter break: the challenging phase, the phase where school is closed but work is open, the phase where all possible temp childcare is dripping with covid/flu so the kids are home all day every day phase, the how-strong-is-your-marriage-really? phase. Good luck everyone 🫡
December 29, 2025 at 1:02 PM
We have entered Phase 2 of winter break: the challenging phase, the phase where school is closed but work is open, the phase where all possible temp childcare is dripping with covid/flu so the kids are home all day every day phase, the how-strong-is-your-marriage-really? phase. Good luck everyone 🫡
Reposted by Parentball
DUN3: NOW YOU SEE ME, NOW YOU DUNE'T.
December 29, 2025 at 1:05 PM
DUN3: NOW YOU SEE ME, NOW YOU DUNE'T.
ARRAKIS: DUNESDAY
DUN3: NOW YOU SEE ME, NOW YOU DUNE'T.
DUNESTRUCK
December 29, 2025 at 3:18 PM
ARRAKIS: DUNESDAY
This is actually what Merril Bainbridge was singing about in her 1994 hit “Mouth.” Few people know this
This is an artificial mouth created by Japanese researchers. It uses artificial vocal cords, a trachea system, and a flexible silicone mouth that moves and shapes sound in real time.
It sounds so human-like!
It sounds so human-like!
December 29, 2025 at 1:56 AM
This is actually what Merril Bainbridge was singing about in her 1994 hit “Mouth.” Few people know this
Reverse cheating at the card game War while listening to Golden on repeat for an hour has to get me some serious parent points, right?
December 28, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Reverse cheating at the card game War while listening to Golden on repeat for an hour has to get me some serious parent points, right?
The next five days
December 27, 2025 at 1:52 AM
The next five days
Reposted by Parentball
Kids’ games:
HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS: omg these hippos are so hungry, which one can eat the most?!
CANDY LAND: whose gingerbread man will reach King Kandy’s castle first?!
CLUE: hey kids somebody was just bludgeoned to death with a wrench!
HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS: omg these hippos are so hungry, which one can eat the most?!
CANDY LAND: whose gingerbread man will reach King Kandy’s castle first?!
CLUE: hey kids somebody was just bludgeoned to death with a wrench!
December 26, 2025 at 5:01 PM
Kids’ games:
HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS: omg these hippos are so hungry, which one can eat the most?!
CANDY LAND: whose gingerbread man will reach King Kandy’s castle first?!
CLUE: hey kids somebody was just bludgeoned to death with a wrench!
HUNGRY HUNGRY HIPPOS: omg these hippos are so hungry, which one can eat the most?!
CANDY LAND: whose gingerbread man will reach King Kandy’s castle first?!
CLUE: hey kids somebody was just bludgeoned to death with a wrench!
6yo really stacking up tropes this Christmas, as she continues to focus her play on (and in) the box a large item came in
December 26, 2025 at 1:18 PM
6yo really stacking up tropes this Christmas, as she continues to focus her play on (and in) the box a large item came in
Mark it: 2:40 pm, Christmas Day. 6yo just asked if it’s too late to add something to her Christmas list
December 25, 2025 at 7:42 PM
Mark it: 2:40 pm, Christmas Day. 6yo just asked if it’s too late to add something to her Christmas list
There was one year when I staged an elaborate set-up, taking the crumbs from the cookie left for Santa and sprinkling them to look like footprints leading from the hearth to the tree and staging the carrot crumbs and, yeah, if you have kids, you already know the end of the story. Entirely unnoticed
December 25, 2025 at 2:44 AM
There was one year when I staged an elaborate set-up, taking the crumbs from the cookie left for Santa and sprinkling them to look like footprints leading from the hearth to the tree and staging the carrot crumbs and, yeah, if you have kids, you already know the end of the story. Entirely unnoticed
The kids are yelling at each other over who yelled at the other (spoiler: it was both)
December 24, 2025 at 2:50 PM
The kids are yelling at each other over who yelled at the other (spoiler: it was both)
Ohhh shit I’m about to hit this wrap battle hard. Seriously, I gotta wrap a lot of things
December 24, 2025 at 2:10 AM
Ohhh shit I’m about to hit this wrap battle hard. Seriously, I gotta wrap a lot of things
Having but once listened to the Muppets’ Carol of the Bells, never again shall you hear the song without hearing muppets
Ringing of the Bells | Muppet Music Video | The Muppets
YouTube video by The Muppets
youtu.be
December 23, 2025 at 3:17 PM
Having but once listened to the Muppets’ Carol of the Bells, never again shall you hear the song without hearing muppets
***Very important safety tip: Don’t, um, grow a small small conifer in, uh, the large barrel you’ve kicked over, per, um, UN resolution 3481
December 23, 2025 at 2:40 AM
***Very important safety tip: Don’t, um, grow a small small conifer in, uh, the large barrel you’ve kicked over, per, um, UN resolution 3481
The kids bringing the last minute additions to the Christmas list
December 23, 2025 at 12:32 AM
The kids bringing the last minute additions to the Christmas list
What I think is happening: I'm killing the fruit flies in my office when they get too close to my desk
What the fruit flies think is happening: God smites those who enter the land of bright rectangles
What's actually happening: Selection to ensure the next generation will be too smart to kill
What the fruit flies think is happening: God smites those who enter the land of bright rectangles
What's actually happening: Selection to ensure the next generation will be too smart to kill
December 22, 2025 at 2:58 PM
What I think is happening: I'm killing the fruit flies in my office when they get too close to my desk
What the fruit flies think is happening: God smites those who enter the land of bright rectangles
What's actually happening: Selection to ensure the next generation will be too smart to kill
What the fruit flies think is happening: God smites those who enter the land of bright rectangles
What's actually happening: Selection to ensure the next generation will be too smart to kill
Reposted by Parentball
'The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of..’
Just kidding. They’re crawling into your bed. Thirsty, kicking you in the ribs, demanding snacks, and asking if sharks fart.
Just kidding. They’re crawling into your bed. Thirsty, kicking you in the ribs, demanding snacks, and asking if sharks fart.
December 21, 2025 at 12:51 AM
'The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of..’
Just kidding. They’re crawling into your bed. Thirsty, kicking you in the ribs, demanding snacks, and asking if sharks fart.
Just kidding. They’re crawling into your bed. Thirsty, kicking you in the ribs, demanding snacks, and asking if sharks fart.
Time for another season of _I Liveskeet Little Dribblers* Basketball_. This is Season 2 (First Grade), Episode 1.
* They actually call it Little Shooters, but my kiddo started calling it Little Dribblers, which is way better
* They actually call it Little Shooters, but my kiddo started calling it Little Dribblers, which is way better
December 20, 2025 at 2:56 PM
Time for another season of _I Liveskeet Little Dribblers* Basketball_. This is Season 2 (First Grade), Episode 1.
* They actually call it Little Shooters, but my kiddo started calling it Little Dribblers, which is way better
* They actually call it Little Shooters, but my kiddo started calling it Little Dribblers, which is way better