LeBond James
@octopithy.bsky.social
masshole shitposter nobody
All the skeets 👉 https://bit.ly/3Aq0mLM
Best of 👉 https://bit.ly/4fVp8ll
Follow requests 👉 https://bit.ly/416xJ0O
All the skeets 👉 https://bit.ly/3Aq0mLM
Best of 👉 https://bit.ly/4fVp8ll
Follow requests 👉 https://bit.ly/416xJ0O
Pinned
LeBond James
@octopithy.bsky.social
· May 27
Bluesky is dead because you guys keep saying terrible things about my mom.
come take me*
*sext to the aliens
*sext to the aliens
November 11, 2025 at 3:12 AM
come take me*
*sext to the aliens
*sext to the aliens
Reposted by LeBond James
The worst part of an annual physical is the bloodshed.
November 8, 2025 at 1:31 PM
The worst part of an annual physical is the bloodshed.
Ten years from now, we'll all look back and laugh and think how nice it was to not be in prison.
November 6, 2025 at 7:40 PM
Ten years from now, we'll all look back and laugh and think how nice it was to not be in prison.
Reposted by LeBond James
I open my trench coat to reveal another, sexier trench coat
November 6, 2025 at 4:04 PM
I open my trench coat to reveal another, sexier trench coat
Reposted by LeBond James
Ok I’ll bite, what’s New York?
November 5, 2025 at 2:25 AM
Ok I’ll bite, what’s New York?
Reposted by LeBond James
As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
November 5, 2025 at 1:52 AM
As the dogs and bees continued their attack, I tried in vain to remember my favorite things.
This started out as a simple Farting Preacher appreciation account, and then I let things get way too complicated.
November 5, 2025 at 1:36 AM
This started out as a simple Farting Preacher appreciation account, and then I let things get way too complicated.
No way these fat guy actors in TV commercials haven't had moob reduction surgery.
November 5, 2025 at 1:18 AM
No way these fat guy actors in TV commercials haven't had moob reduction surgery.
I win the charity auction item. But the prize is Marie Kondo following me around for a day, and every few minutes she throws up her hands in pure outrage to ask, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING?"
November 4, 2025 at 7:48 PM
I win the charity auction item. But the prize is Marie Kondo following me around for a day, and every few minutes she throws up her hands in pure outrage to ask, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN DOING?"
Reposted by LeBond James
Your spleen is trying to get out for a walk today
November 2, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Your spleen is trying to get out for a walk today
Change one letter. Ruin a candy.
100 Gland
100 Gland
Change one letter. Ruin a candy.
Mr. Goonbar
Mr. Goonbar
Change one letter. Ruin a candy.
Milky Wad
Milky Wad
October 29, 2025 at 9:22 PM
Change one letter. Ruin a candy.
100 Gland
100 Gland
Reposted by LeBond James
If I knew how much paperwork was involved, I would never have faked my own death.
October 28, 2025 at 6:18 PM
If I knew how much paperwork was involved, I would never have faked my own death.
Extreme near-sightedness aside, Mr. Magoo was a very generous lover.
October 28, 2025 at 4:31 PM
Extreme near-sightedness aside, Mr. Magoo was a very generous lover.
a fun murder mystery cruise but hey wait no one else is here for the murder mystery part and you're asking a lot of questions about my life insurance policy
October 24, 2025 at 5:33 PM
a fun murder mystery cruise but hey wait no one else is here for the murder mystery part and you're asking a lot of questions about my life insurance policy
Someone switched the backgrounds on this CNN segment.
October 23, 2025 at 1:36 PM
Someone switched the backgrounds on this CNN segment.
Enjoying some Cake*
.
.
.
*the sometimes wistful, always cynical, GenX, calorie-free kind
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*the sometimes wistful, always cynical, GenX, calorie-free kind
October 21, 2025 at 6:16 PM
Enjoying some Cake*
.
.
.
*the sometimes wistful, always cynical, GenX, calorie-free kind
.
.
.
*the sometimes wistful, always cynical, GenX, calorie-free kind
Reposted by LeBond James
Back in my day we rowed boats, gently down the stream
October 20, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Back in my day we rowed boats, gently down the stream
Got a headache after I ate a 3pm breakfast-for-late-lunch and I'm calling it *eggs & corned beef harsh* to anyone who will listen and this is why she left me.
October 20, 2025 at 6:57 PM
Got a headache after I ate a 3pm breakfast-for-late-lunch and I'm calling it *eggs & corned beef harsh* to anyone who will listen and this is why she left me.
Reposted by LeBond James
Jizz won’t melt steel beams.
October 20, 2025 at 6:22 PM
Jizz won’t melt steel beams.
Reposted by LeBond James
The day I discovered how to sleep with my eyes open is the day everything in my life improved drastically except for my driving
October 20, 2025 at 6:46 PM
The day I discovered how to sleep with my eyes open is the day everything in my life improved drastically except for my driving
Once again failed my Riverdance audition because, as the kindest judge noted: "APPLICANT DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE ABLE TO RIVERDANCE."
October 20, 2025 at 6:37 PM
Once again failed my Riverdance audition because, as the kindest judge noted: "APPLICANT DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE ABLE TO RIVERDANCE."
This local news Weather Alert could've been a simple, non-panic-inducing "It's raining out."
October 20, 2025 at 1:48 PM
This local news Weather Alert could've been a simple, non-panic-inducing "It's raining out."
With every clever skeet, inching my way toward further irrelevance.
October 17, 2025 at 8:30 PM
With every clever skeet, inching my way toward further irrelevance.
Showing up to the Antifa rally with a Whopper on No Kings Day to see who's really paying attention.
October 17, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Showing up to the Antifa rally with a Whopper on No Kings Day to see who's really paying attention.