Molotov
molotovcoqteez.bsky.social
Molotov
@molotovcoqteez.bsky.social
Don’t mind me. I’m just a figment of your overactive imagination. I’m definitely not hiding under your bed. More people should jump rope naked. It would make the world a better place.
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the workday continues.
January 5, 2024 at 6:41 PM
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okay I already fucked up, 2025 will be my year
January 1, 2024 at 12:20 PM
January 1, 2024 at 12:30 PM
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Wow the new report post options are actually quite good?
December 29, 2023 at 11:00 AM
The best part about a birthday on the New Year’s weekend is no work and no judgement about staying drunk for days! Woo! 🥂
December 30, 2023 at 6:58 AM
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please i am screaming
December 28, 2023 at 5:19 AM
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🖤
December 17, 2023 at 6:29 AM
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There are some things you just don’t joke about. And I’m here to joke about all of those things.
October 12, 2023 at 9:34 PM
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Meanwhile if you are Welsh it is the time of year when a skeleton horse might show up at your door and challenge you to a rap battle. If you lose the horse comes into your house and drinks your booze.

Happy Christmas from Mari Lwyd!
December 23, 2023 at 5:28 PM
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate, and warmest wishes to those who do not!
December 25, 2023 at 10:47 AM
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Have a brush with Death.
A shiatsu massage with War.
A cut-and-color with Pestilence.
A pedicure with Famine.
December 24, 2023 at 8:48 PM
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December 23, 2023 at 4:26 PM
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Boy, did I have a day. It lasted many hours and was full of events. Words were uttered. I drove an automobile. You don't even know.
December 23, 2023 at 7:04 AM
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Why don’t you slip into something more combustible?
December 23, 2023 at 6:25 PM
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Me: (at the gym) arm or leg day?
Octopus: (crying) I don’t know.
December 22, 2023 at 6:23 PM
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So, you’re telling me if I’m good all year, that an old dude will shower me with gifts, but Santa ISNT my sugar daddy?

Explain.
December 22, 2023 at 11:08 PM
House cleaning time! WOO!



Nope. Didn’t work. Still not excited about it.
December 22, 2023 at 10:59 PM
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With great power comes great utility bills..

Someone’s dad, probably
December 22, 2023 at 10:56 AM
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July 27, 2023 at 2:57 AM
I’d kill for some junk food. I just brushed my teeth for the third time while pretending I was savoring mint chocolate chip ice cream.
December 20, 2023 at 7:18 PM
Which do you suppose is worse: Ghost AIDS or Sexual Diarrhea?
December 20, 2023 at 7:14 PM
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welcome to your 40’s you only like 3 people and 1 is questionable
December 18, 2023 at 4:37 PM
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Santa’s Helpers??!! I think you mean Subordinate Clauses
December 17, 2023 at 7:46 PM
I'm gonna put MY LIME in YOUR COCONUT and there's not FUCK-ALL YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!
December 18, 2023 at 7:53 PM