JonnyExists
@jonnyexists.bsky.social
I have been known to breathe in (and occasionally out again), without thinking about spaceships.
Reposted by JonnyExists
November 10, 2025 at 12:20 PM
Reposted by JonnyExists
If you're a National Trust member, it's that time of year again: Midnight tonight is the deadline. It's a shame people have to keep doing this to keep a toehold on historical truth in this country, but here we are. Voting link: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/who-we-are/a...
![[Scene is the entrance cabin to a NATIONAL TRUST PROPERTY AND GARDENS]
1
NATIONAL TRUST EMPLOYEE [inside cabin]:
Hello there
2
[A young family - two parents two kids - have arrived at the front desk].
DAD:
Hi - do you have an activity trail, for the kids?
3
NT EMPLOYEE:
Of course – you’re just in time for the Autumn Gammon Trail!
4
MUM:
That sounds fun, doesn’t it kids?
5
NT EMPLOYEE [handing an activity sheet and pencils to the kids]:
Every autumn, the Reform Trust gammons flock back to the National Trust for the AGM. Just follow the trail round the grounds, and see how many you can spot!
6
NT EMPLOYEE [hearing something in the gardens]:
Listen - that's their call
[Calls emanating from the landscape]:
tut-tut
woke-woke
7
NT EMPLOYEE [showing the family an apparently empty fenced enclosure with some bushes in]:
They are extremely sensitive and fragile...
But you can bring them out of hiding if you put a little sign down mentioning slavery.
8
KIDS [pointing]:
There they are!
[Some little red faced PEOPLE wearing Barbour jackets and gilets emerge cautiously from the bushes. They are creeping towards a TINY SIGN in the middle of the enclosure].
[Little people noises]:
woke-woke
tut-tut
woke-woke
9
[Close-up of the TINY SIGN - we can read that it says]:
Slavery had a bit to do with building this massive house.
[Noises from the little people again as they inspect the tiny sign]:
tut-tut
woke-woke
10
MUM [pointing]:
What's that one doing there?
NT EMPLOYEE:
Oh, that's so sweet…
11
[We see that one of the people is sat on a rock, with a little laptop open on a tree stump, and they are furiously typing away].
NT EMPLOYEE:
I think he's writing a column for the Daily Telegraph…
12
[We see close up to the little person’s screen, it is a word document reading]:
Are National Trust scones secretly WOKE?
[ends]](https://cdn.bsky.app/img/feed_thumbnail/plain/did:plc:4m3we4apbjayclzcnhwe3pfp/bafkreib7lt736b6rmzinml5s7kxjdaapo2a36xp4d4lssypimx3taqicdm@jpeg)
October 31, 2025 at 9:02 AM
If you're a National Trust member, it's that time of year again: Midnight tonight is the deadline. It's a shame people have to keep doing this to keep a toehold on historical truth in this country, but here we are. Voting link: www.nationaltrust.org.uk/who-we-are/a...
Does... does Allister Heath look like the Mekon on purpose now as a bit? Or does he honestly not know?
October 16, 2025 at 1:31 AM
Does... does Allister Heath look like the Mekon on purpose now as a bit? Or does he honestly not know?
Christ, Maurice Glassman really does need removing from all positions of influence in the Labour party. He really thinks the problem is that Labour isn't Reform-lite *enough*.
September 29, 2025 at 9:04 AM
Christ, Maurice Glassman really does need removing from all positions of influence in the Labour party. He really thinks the problem is that Labour isn't Reform-lite *enough*.
Look, giving Palantir a squillion pounds to build a database that doesn't work but does steal all of our data is just sensible.
Even though they'll lose to the obvious "bin the ID cards" campaign in 2029 and it disappears, we can all agree that it's a better use of money than trains and houses 🙄
Even though they'll lose to the obvious "bin the ID cards" campaign in 2029 and it disappears, we can all agree that it's a better use of money than trains and houses 🙄
September 26, 2025 at 11:08 AM
Look, giving Palantir a squillion pounds to build a database that doesn't work but does steal all of our data is just sensible.
Even though they'll lose to the obvious "bin the ID cards" campaign in 2029 and it disappears, we can all agree that it's a better use of money than trains and houses 🙄
Even though they'll lose to the obvious "bin the ID cards" campaign in 2029 and it disappears, we can all agree that it's a better use of money than trains and houses 🙄
Reposted by JonnyExists
It does feel a bit
Labour: ID cards?
Press: No
Labour: ID cards?
Press: No. No way
Labour: ID cards but... we make them a bit racist?
Press: ...
Labour: It will harm Deliveroo bikers in particular?
Press: You son of a bitch. I'm in!
Labour: ID cards?
Press: No
Labour: ID cards?
Press: No. No way
Labour: ID cards but... we make them a bit racist?
Press: ...
Labour: It will harm Deliveroo bikers in particular?
Press: You son of a bitch. I'm in!
September 26, 2025 at 9:16 AM
It does feel a bit
Labour: ID cards?
Press: No
Labour: ID cards?
Press: No. No way
Labour: ID cards but... we make them a bit racist?
Press: ...
Labour: It will harm Deliveroo bikers in particular?
Press: You son of a bitch. I'm in!
Labour: ID cards?
Press: No
Labour: ID cards?
Press: No. No way
Labour: ID cards but... we make them a bit racist?
Press: ...
Labour: It will harm Deliveroo bikers in particular?
Press: You son of a bitch. I'm in!
Reposted by JonnyExists
WwwwwWooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
September 13, 2025 at 11:13 AM
WwwwwWooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Pretty sure he was in Buffy
August 31, 2025 at 2:55 PM
Pretty sure he was in Buffy
"Instead of donating my time and money to local charities, I'm going to spend infinite money on flags that'll end up in the bin and every night this week climbing up traffic lights after eight cans.
That'll definitely feed homeless veterans and get rid of the needles in the park."
Fucking clowns.
That'll definitely feed homeless veterans and get rid of the needles in the park."
Fucking clowns.
August 19, 2025 at 2:38 PM
"Instead of donating my time and money to local charities, I'm going to spend infinite money on flags that'll end up in the bin and every night this week climbing up traffic lights after eight cans.
That'll definitely feed homeless veterans and get rid of the needles in the park."
Fucking clowns.
That'll definitely feed homeless veterans and get rid of the needles in the park."
Fucking clowns.
Ok, so the first chopstick is behind a veil of ignorance with no knowledge of its position in the society it is designing. Now what?
July 25, 2025 at 7:13 PM
Ok, so the first chopstick is behind a veil of ignorance with no knowledge of its position in the society it is designing. Now what?
In a move widely expected to revive America's flagging Plague Doctor industry
June 14, 2025 at 11:16 PM
In a move widely expected to revive America's flagging Plague Doctor industry
Did the entire television industry lose the ability to put advert breaks in sensible places the very second the internet got involved?
Trying to watch #Snowpiercer on #ITVX is absolutely maddening.
Trying to watch #Snowpiercer on #ITVX is absolutely maddening.
June 10, 2025 at 8:43 PM
Did the entire television industry lose the ability to put advert breaks in sensible places the very second the internet got involved?
Trying to watch #Snowpiercer on #ITVX is absolutely maddening.
Trying to watch #Snowpiercer on #ITVX is absolutely maddening.
Reposted by JonnyExists
“And in a pact programme tonight…”
March 13, 2025 at 8:42 PM
“And in a pact programme tonight…”
Blobbymandias, King of Kings
February 26, 2025 at 12:17 PM
Blobbymandias, King of Kings
February 24, 2025 at 9:11 PM
If Thames Water can't keep itself in credit operating a vital utility as a monopoly, its management are the least competent people on the face of the earth and should be barred from ever holding a decision-making position ever again.
Empty their bank accounts before they get a penny of our money.
Empty their bank accounts before they get a penny of our money.
February 18, 2025 at 11:34 AM
If Thames Water can't keep itself in credit operating a vital utility as a monopoly, its management are the least competent people on the face of the earth and should be barred from ever holding a decision-making position ever again.
Empty their bank accounts before they get a penny of our money.
Empty their bank accounts before they get a penny of our money.
God I'm bored of Badenoch reading out the maddest bits of Twitter every wednesday.
January 29, 2025 at 12:04 PM
God I'm bored of Badenoch reading out the maddest bits of Twitter every wednesday.
What's even the point of Rachel Reeves making a big speech to reiterate that she still believes in the Magic Beans of trickle-down economics despite it being obviously fucking nonsense?
You were elected to invest and improve public services, not to slash ever more on the altar of billionaire grifts
You were elected to invest and improve public services, not to slash ever more on the altar of billionaire grifts
January 29, 2025 at 10:15 AM
What's even the point of Rachel Reeves making a big speech to reiterate that she still believes in the Magic Beans of trickle-down economics despite it being obviously fucking nonsense?
You were elected to invest and improve public services, not to slash ever more on the altar of billionaire grifts
You were elected to invest and improve public services, not to slash ever more on the altar of billionaire grifts
I see the usual insane cunts are screaming their lungs out on Twitter about an award-winning writer being given a writing job on #doctorwho.
Wonder how long it's been since they went a whole day without thinking about strangers' genitals.
Wonder how long it's been since they went a whole day without thinking about strangers' genitals.
January 28, 2025 at 1:47 PM
I see the usual insane cunts are screaming their lungs out on Twitter about an award-winning writer being given a writing job on #doctorwho.
Wonder how long it's been since they went a whole day without thinking about strangers' genitals.
Wonder how long it's been since they went a whole day without thinking about strangers' genitals.
If I had one trip in a time machine, I'm not wholly convinced I wouldn't use it to show the Muppet Christmas Carol to Charles Dickens.
December 14, 2024 at 10:14 PM
If I had one trip in a time machine, I'm not wholly convinced I wouldn't use it to show the Muppet Christmas Carol to Charles Dickens.
I enjoy that this pub photo of a WW2 bomb shelter appears to contain noted phonebox-themed time travel illuminaries Matt Smith and Alex Winter.
December 14, 2024 at 1:41 AM
I enjoy that this pub photo of a WW2 bomb shelter appears to contain noted phonebox-themed time travel illuminaries Matt Smith and Alex Winter.
Oh look, Starmer's "big change" appears to be to continue to wank on about immigration, fantasy growth figures and hand private businesses the ability to rip the copper wiring out of the country's walls, while pretending there are no Brexit problems.
I think I've heard this one before.
I think I've heard this one before.
December 5, 2024 at 11:33 AM
Oh look, Starmer's "big change" appears to be to continue to wank on about immigration, fantasy growth figures and hand private businesses the ability to rip the copper wiring out of the country's walls, while pretending there are no Brexit problems.
I think I've heard this one before.
I think I've heard this one before.