Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
@foxult.bsky.social
Teacher. Feckless gadabout. Asparagus hater.
Pinned
When I was little, I used to play doctor with girls in my neighborhood. I pretended I had a PhD in Comparative Literature, and I'd serve them coffee at a pretend Starbucks.
If Mein Kampf was written in binary, WWII could have been prevented because only a few nerds would have known what he was talking about, and we all know how well nerds fight.
November 17, 2025 at 12:12 PM
If Mein Kampf was written in binary, WWII could have been prevented because only a few nerds would have known what he was talking about, and we all know how well nerds fight.
There's a huge difference between the house I want to live in and the house I want to pay property taxes on and maintain.
November 17, 2025 at 12:10 PM
There's a huge difference between the house I want to live in and the house I want to pay property taxes on and maintain.
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
Be the reason your local independent bookstore stays in business.
November 13, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Be the reason your local independent bookstore stays in business.
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
November 14, 2025 at 9:35 PM
THE INVENTOR OF BAD NEWS: what if you could be sitting down
The pinnacle of douchy foodies are the Gluten Freemasons.
November 15, 2025 at 12:00 PM
The pinnacle of douchy foodies are the Gluten Freemasons.
Before you start pining for the good old simpler times, remember that those times included Sansabelt pants.
November 15, 2025 at 11:59 AM
Before you start pining for the good old simpler times, remember that those times included Sansabelt pants.
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
This 4am skeet is brought to you by my inability to tell the difference between caffeine-free and regular Coke
November 14, 2025 at 10:05 AM
This 4am skeet is brought to you by my inability to tell the difference between caffeine-free and regular Coke
"The touch of his Wilson A2000 DP 15 against her Easton Mako Torq-3 sent shivers down her spine."
- spring training romance novel
- spring training romance novel
November 14, 2025 at 12:11 PM
"The touch of his Wilson A2000 DP 15 against her Easton Mako Torq-3 sent shivers down her spine."
- spring training romance novel
- spring training romance novel
At folk dance conventions in Virginia, I'm known at the human highlight reel.
November 14, 2025 at 12:10 PM
At folk dance conventions in Virginia, I'm known at the human highlight reel.
About that concussion I got playing football in 8th grade, should I still keep "shaking it off?" At what point should I see a doctor?
November 14, 2025 at 12:09 PM
About that concussion I got playing football in 8th grade, should I still keep "shaking it off?" At what point should I see a doctor?
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
Frankstein's Monster's Monster is actually the name of the name of the monster's monster.
November 14, 2025 at 1:17 AM
Frankstein's Monster's Monster is actually the name of the name of the monster's monster.
A long, word-filled PowerPoint is the icing on the cake of a terrible public speaker.
November 13, 2025 at 12:12 PM
A long, word-filled PowerPoint is the icing on the cake of a terrible public speaker.
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
Prometheus implies the existence of Amateurmetheus
November 12, 2025 at 12:25 PM
Prometheus implies the existence of Amateurmetheus
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
I STG every time there’s an economic downturn those Charmin Bears get skimpy on the ply
November 9, 2025 at 1:41 PM
I STG every time there’s an economic downturn those Charmin Bears get skimpy on the ply
I thought I was a competent teacher until I tried to explain the Manbearpig South Park episode to my mother.
November 9, 2025 at 12:40 PM
I thought I was a competent teacher until I tried to explain the Manbearpig South Park episode to my mother.
At my house, it's all about gender equality until the Fall when it's time to rake leaves, it seems.
November 9, 2025 at 12:37 PM
At my house, it's all about gender equality until the Fall when it's time to rake leaves, it seems.
At my age, if I had a Harry Potter invisibility cloak, I'd just use it to take naps.
November 9, 2025 at 12:36 PM
At my age, if I had a Harry Potter invisibility cloak, I'd just use it to take naps.
Pro tip: Superglue a rattle to a non-venomous snake then get bitten a lot to impress your snake-handling neighbors.
November 9, 2025 at 12:35 PM
Pro tip: Superglue a rattle to a non-venomous snake then get bitten a lot to impress your snake-handling neighbors.
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
Our middle school is on the edge of town with a woods behind it.
Today:
"Hey, Mr.K, check that out."
I look out the window, and a male deer 50 yards away is giving a doe everything he had.
You have no idea what that does to a classroom of 12 yr olds.
Instruction was no longer an option. 😀
Today:
"Hey, Mr.K, check that out."
I look out the window, and a male deer 50 yards away is giving a doe everything he had.
You have no idea what that does to a classroom of 12 yr olds.
Instruction was no longer an option. 😀
November 6, 2025 at 3:17 AM
Our middle school is on the edge of town with a woods behind it.
Today:
"Hey, Mr.K, check that out."
I look out the window, and a male deer 50 yards away is giving a doe everything he had.
You have no idea what that does to a classroom of 12 yr olds.
Instruction was no longer an option. 😀
Today:
"Hey, Mr.K, check that out."
I look out the window, and a male deer 50 yards away is giving a doe everything he had.
You have no idea what that does to a classroom of 12 yr olds.
Instruction was no longer an option. 😀
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
Establish dominance in a meeting by bringing donuts and saying no one can have any because they are for a later, more important meeting.
November 6, 2025 at 11:15 PM
Establish dominance in a meeting by bringing donuts and saying no one can have any because they are for a later, more important meeting.
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
The amazing thing is that the guy had enough money to waste a sandwich in this economy. 🤤
November 6, 2025 at 11:15 PM
The amazing thing is that the guy had enough money to waste a sandwich in this economy. 🤤
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
the first 24-48hrs are critical for finding Waldo
November 6, 2025 at 6:54 PM
the first 24-48hrs are critical for finding Waldo
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
the sandwich guy walking away from the court house and suddenly, his limp disappears
November 6, 2025 at 8:19 PM
the sandwich guy walking away from the court house and suddenly, his limp disappears
Reposted by Ed Fox, Secret Chimp
The Kool Aid Man gathers his congregation to him and ladles directly from his head, saying "Take this when you are thirsty and drink, for this is my blood"
November 5, 2025 at 2:47 PM
The Kool Aid Man gathers his congregation to him and ladles directly from his head, saying "Take this when you are thirsty and drink, for this is my blood"
My plane to New Orleans was tiny. The in-flight movie was the pilots doing a puppet show.
November 5, 2025 at 12:36 PM
My plane to New Orleans was tiny. The in-flight movie was the pilots doing a puppet show.