Bastard of Ceremonies
@endgamerazari.bsky.social
No style, no substance.
Reposted by Bastard of Ceremonies
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
November 25, 2025 at 4:42 PM
I gave my mom what I thought was a soup-themed bath bomb some years back, but it was actually soup. She had to call my dad in to get her out of the greasy tub.
Hetter O'Sexual
November 25, 2025 at 5:36 PM
Hetter O'Sexual
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still blows my mind that you used to be able to rip music from a cd and just put it on your console. they'd kill you if you tried that now
November 25, 2025 at 3:08 PM
still blows my mind that you used to be able to rip music from a cd and just put it on your console. they'd kill you if you tried that now
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Remove the not so swag shit from ur life
November 25, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Remove the not so swag shit from ur life
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I wish they treated the presidential turkey pardon a little more like professional wrestling, and had like a senator from the opposing party sharpening a carving knife and licking his chops until the pardon goes through, and then he throws up his hands and storms out
November 28, 2024 at 6:49 PM
I wish they treated the presidential turkey pardon a little more like professional wrestling, and had like a senator from the opposing party sharpening a carving knife and licking his chops until the pardon goes through, and then he throws up his hands and storms out
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A package hasn't "shipped" if you've only "created the label"
November 25, 2025 at 3:02 PM
A package hasn't "shipped" if you've only "created the label"
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air riders got me thinking about my favorite piece of kirby trivia
(src: wikirby.com/wiki/Zan_Par...)
(src: wikirby.com/wiki/Zan_Par...)
November 25, 2025 at 4:12 PM
air riders got me thinking about my favorite piece of kirby trivia
(src: wikirby.com/wiki/Zan_Par...)
(src: wikirby.com/wiki/Zan_Par...)
One of my most appreciated qualities at work is my responsiveness. At least 40% of the time the answer will be a variation of "Iunno", but you'll get it before anyone else answers, and that counts.
November 25, 2025 at 4:15 PM
One of my most appreciated qualities at work is my responsiveness. At least 40% of the time the answer will be a variation of "Iunno", but you'll get it before anyone else answers, and that counts.
"Important-response needed", huh? Okay, well, here's my response with the meager amount of useless information I'm privy to. My job here is done.
November 25, 2025 at 4:12 PM
"Important-response needed", huh? Okay, well, here's my response with the meager amount of useless information I'm privy to. My job here is done.
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The best thing I learned from Macaulay Culkin at last night’s Home Alone screening is that his 4yo son loves the movie, thinks of himself as Kevin, and has no idea that that’s his dad. Culkin is attempting to hide that fact for as long as possible
a young boy is smiling and says `` i made my family disappear '' .
ALT: a young boy is smiling and says `` i made my family disappear '' .
media.tenor.com
November 25, 2025 at 3:45 PM
The best thing I learned from Macaulay Culkin at last night’s Home Alone screening is that his 4yo son loves the movie, thinks of himself as Kevin, and has no idea that that’s his dad. Culkin is attempting to hide that fact for as long as possible
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Model: Robonoid
Debut: Future Boy Conan
Year: 1978
Designer: Hayao Miyazaki
Debut: Future Boy Conan
Year: 1978
Designer: Hayao Miyazaki
November 25, 2025 at 4:06 PM
Model: Robonoid
Debut: Future Boy Conan
Year: 1978
Designer: Hayao Miyazaki
Debut: Future Boy Conan
Year: 1978
Designer: Hayao Miyazaki
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not now babe i’m busy
November 25, 2025 at 12:11 PM
not now babe i’m busy
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i don't know let's say minotaurs
Whats on Tuesday?
November 25, 2025 at 3:33 PM
i don't know let's say minotaurs
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I got so stoned at a Mets game once I compared the Jumbotron to the top screen of a Nintendo DS bc it had “a bunch of useful contextual information” and the field to the bottom screen bc “it’s where the game is actually played”
November 24, 2025 at 2:04 PM
I got so stoned at a Mets game once I compared the Jumbotron to the top screen of a Nintendo DS bc it had “a bunch of useful contextual information” and the field to the bottom screen bc “it’s where the game is actually played”
Reposted by Bastard of Ceremonies
Probably gonna keep the mustache until New Year's, then I will resume my vain battle against twink death
November 25, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Probably gonna keep the mustache until New Year's, then I will resume my vain battle against twink death
The only thing I care about is the number on the scale going down and not jiggling as much
"If you don't eat, your body will hold onto the weight because it thinks it's starving", "You're actually gaining muscle"
Bullshit, horseshit, and hogshit. Anyone who says these kinds of things cannot be trusted
Bullshit, horseshit, and hogshit. Anyone who says these kinds of things cannot be trusted
November 25, 2025 at 1:59 PM
The only thing I care about is the number on the scale going down and not jiggling as much
"If you don't eat, your body will hold onto the weight because it thinks it's starving", "You're actually gaining muscle"
Bullshit, horseshit, and hogshit. Anyone who says these kinds of things cannot be trusted
Bullshit, horseshit, and hogshit. Anyone who says these kinds of things cannot be trusted
November 25, 2025 at 1:55 PM
"If you don't eat, your body will hold onto the weight because it thinks it's starving", "You're actually gaining muscle"
Bullshit, horseshit, and hogshit. Anyone who says these kinds of things cannot be trusted
Bullshit, horseshit, and hogshit. Anyone who says these kinds of things cannot be trusted
How the fuck am I not losing weight when I've been exercising pretty strenuously five days a week and eating maybe 1500 calories a day on average? And don't give me any of that "actually you need to eat more" bullshit
November 25, 2025 at 1:34 PM
How the fuck am I not losing weight when I've been exercising pretty strenuously five days a week and eating maybe 1500 calories a day on average? And don't give me any of that "actually you need to eat more" bullshit
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“the pharaoh’s tomb is cursed! the necromancer’s ring is cursed! the witch’s grimoire is cursed!” that’s how you sound. everything is fucking cursed with you bro. i don’t care. i’m taking this skull.
December 4, 2024 at 8:25 PM
“the pharaoh’s tomb is cursed! the necromancer’s ring is cursed! the witch’s grimoire is cursed!” that’s how you sound. everything is fucking cursed with you bro. i don’t care. i’m taking this skull.
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If we're talking turkeys, this one is my favourite.
November 24, 2025 at 3:50 AM
If we're talking turkeys, this one is my favourite.
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Oh....my penis is big....
November 25, 2025 at 6:41 AM
Oh....my penis is big....
Oh God, it's only been a year?
I love you, buddy.
I love you, buddy.
November 25, 2025 at 6:04 AM
Oh God, it's only been a year?
I love you, buddy.
I love you, buddy.
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[nvidia, the company that is single handedly propping up the economy, unprompted] haha noo this is nothing like Enron
November 25, 2025 at 5:59 AM
[nvidia, the company that is single handedly propping up the economy, unprompted] haha noo this is nothing like Enron
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Pokemon go to the bathroom
November 24, 2025 at 10:39 AM
Pokemon go to the bathroom