emily_tweets
banner
emilytweets.bsky.social
emily_tweets
@emilytweets.bsky.social
Easily distracted | sober | typical scorpio
Pinned
I’m sorry for having this sparkling personality and these glorious tits; I didn’t ask to be born this way.
‘How do you know each other?’

We went to the same Twitter.
March 15, 2025 at 7:28 AM
Do you pronounce it ‘blue sky’ or ‘blue-skee’?
March 7, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Reposted by emily_tweets
I'm getting pregnant tonight
February 21, 2025 at 12:23 AM
Reposted by emily_tweets
We should be able to text 911
January 21, 2025 at 6:21 PM
Reposted by emily_tweets
*unrolls yoga mat*

*takes nap*
January 23, 2025 at 12:07 AM
I’d pardon you, babe
January 20, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Reposted by emily_tweets
Extensive list of resources for those needing help and wanting to help those impacted by the fires.

#LAFires #LosAngeles #California #Wildfires

laist.com/brief/news/c...
Help for fire victims
Where to find shelter, food and more
laist.com
January 9, 2025 at 3:10 AM
Reposted by emily_tweets
Happy "wrap all the presents and discover that you do have a favourite child" day to all the parents x
December 23, 2024 at 9:23 PM
Shower sex is over-rated. Fight me.
December 23, 2024 at 3:29 PM
Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey
December 22, 2024 at 9:31 PM
Reposted by emily_tweets
All I want for Christmas is a look at the naughty list.
December 19, 2024 at 1:53 AM
Reposted by emily_tweets
can't really get into the Christmas spirit until I see a car with antler attachments on the windows
December 20, 2024 at 10:05 PM
Reposted by emily_tweets
The average person swallows two wolves per year in their sleep.
December 17, 2024 at 12:50 AM
Reposted by emily_tweets
At my funeral there’ll be a 37 minute montage of me trying to find something to watch on Netflix
November 27, 2024 at 11:53 AM
Reposted by emily_tweets
i see bethamphetamine is trending again so that's heartworming
December 5, 2024 at 12:31 AM
Reposted by emily_tweets
Diazepam is a beautiful name for a baby.
May 30, 2024 at 12:23 AM
I’ve been sick all week. Was not sick when I took this last weekend.
December 19, 2024 at 1:11 AM
Reposted by emily_tweets
might fuck around and become your favourite
December 18, 2024 at 11:49 PM
Our friend @bets.bsky.social still really needs our help. If you have the means, any amount helps. Or even just resharing would be awesome. 🤍

www.gofundme.com/f/jennyandth...
Donate to Help Shari (Jenny and the Bets) Get Her Life Back, organized by emily tweets
Hello, friends and family of our friend Shari, (known to many of you as… emily tweets needs your support for Help Shari (Jenny and the Bets) Get Her Life Back
www.gofundme.com
December 18, 2024 at 5:24 PM
If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way
December 18, 2024 at 3:22 PM
I like restaurants that have the good ice and if this makes sense to you we might be soulmates
December 18, 2024 at 2:59 AM
Reposted by emily_tweets
Calories don't count from now until 2025
December 18, 2024 at 2:54 AM
Gonna wrap my naked self in a red ribbon and sit under the tree, ‘cause I’m a gift
December 18, 2024 at 2:47 AM