Your friendly neighborhood Eli
@elithek.bsky.social
Born & raised in the U.S. Moved to Ireland in 2024 (permanently if I'm lucky). The world is better when we let people be who they are & don't crap on their joy.
If you're planning to follow me to DM me, don't bother.
If you're planning to follow me to DM me, don't bother.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
I think I’d like to be a horse because it doesn’t seem to matter who you kick or how hard you kick them everybody’s always just kinda like 🤷♂️ yeah he’ll do that
November 20, 2025 at 4:57 PM
I think I’d like to be a horse because it doesn’t seem to matter who you kick or how hard you kick them everybody’s always just kinda like 🤷♂️ yeah he’ll do that
"So you're not planning to go back, not even to visit?" people at work ask me incredulously. For them, it's a big mystery. For me, the mystery is a big mystery.
Can’t believe the whole country has to suffer through the return of Dickensian childhood diseases because the worst, most ignorant attention-demanders decided other people’s expertise makes them feel bad
November 20, 2025 at 8:06 AM
"So you're not planning to go back, not even to visit?" people at work ask me incredulously. For them, it's a big mystery. For me, the mystery is a big mystery.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Breaking News: Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani is going to require all New York elementary school students to learn Arabic numerals.
The madrasa indoctrination is starting very early.
(This post is a test.)
The madrasa indoctrination is starting very early.
(This post is a test.)
November 19, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Breaking News: Mayor-elect Zohran Mamdani is going to require all New York elementary school students to learn Arabic numerals.
The madrasa indoctrination is starting very early.
(This post is a test.)
The madrasa indoctrination is starting very early.
(This post is a test.)
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
squirrel: *points gun*
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
November 19, 2025 at 1:41 PM
squirrel: *points gun*
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
me: what do you want me to do?
squirrel: *gestures at sign*
me: alright, i get it *opens book drop*
squirrel: *makes hurry-up motion*
me: NOT A SQUIRREL!
squirrel: *disappears into book drop*
me: *whispers* forgive me, keith
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
one thing about this is that in the wake of all of this kirk is basically forgotten. he was barely cold in the ground before his allies — before his *wife* — started scheming over what they could take for themselves. a real life parable.
New: Reuters has tallied job losses, suspensions and investigations stemming from the reaction to Charlie Kirk's Sept. 10 assassination. Its findings: More than 600 Americans have been punished, and the figure is likely to be an under-count.
www.reuters.com/investigatio...
www.reuters.com/investigatio...
November 19, 2025 at 3:38 PM
one thing about this is that in the wake of all of this kirk is basically forgotten. he was barely cold in the ground before his allies — before his *wife* — started scheming over what they could take for themselves. a real life parable.
Share a TV series you've watched from beginning to end more than once
November 19, 2025 at 9:05 PM
Share a TV series you've watched from beginning to end more than once
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with somebody from your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination
November 19, 2025 at 5:00 PM
Having to confirm your past purchases over the phone with somebody from your bank’s fraud department is a truly harrowing moment of self-examination
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
I don't know why the "Piggy" thing is bothering me so much. It's one more unforgivable thing in a list of 20,000 unforgivable things, but I've been mad about it for like 12 straight hours.
November 18, 2025 at 11:48 PM
I don't know why the "Piggy" thing is bothering me so much. It's one more unforgivable thing in a list of 20,000 unforgivable things, but I've been mad about it for like 12 straight hours.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think people who spend $10,000 on JPEGs of monkeys have any business calling anyone out of touch
November 18, 2025 at 11:26 PM
Maybe it's just me, but I don't think people who spend $10,000 on JPEGs of monkeys have any business calling anyone out of touch
I mean, saying things like "Quiet, piggy" hasn't always ended well. It's a bold move, Cotton.
kermit the frog and miss piggy from the sesame street
ALT: kermit the frog and miss piggy from the sesame street
media.tenor.com
November 19, 2025 at 6:45 AM
I mean, saying things like "Quiet, piggy" hasn't always ended well. It's a bold move, Cotton.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
These two books should cover everything.
November 18, 2025 at 9:46 PM
These two books should cover everything.
IDK about you, but it's Christmas music season in my phone.
November 18, 2025 at 3:27 PM
IDK about you, but it's Christmas music season in my phone.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
November 18, 2025 at 1:51 AM
"Don't even get us started on French fries." --- Belgium
the turks and armenians both claim to have invented pastrami and the armenian prelacy issued a statement about armenian primacy, with the phrase "just because the name of a food is turkish does not mean it's turkish"
November 18, 2025 at 7:38 AM
"Don't even get us started on French fries." --- Belgium
Get back to me when they figure out if it was 3:34 AM or 3:35 AM.
next time on behind the music: you can't touch this, or can you?
November 18, 2025 at 6:49 AM
Get back to me when they figure out if it was 3:34 AM or 3:35 AM.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
First off, my suspension has ended. Got a little harsh with a post a few days ago but I didn’t have my feet on the ground and I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Will try to be more chipper. Knock on wood!
November 17, 2025 at 9:04 PM
First off, my suspension has ended. Got a little harsh with a post a few days ago but I didn’t have my feet on the ground and I’m sorry if I offended anyone. Will try to be more chipper. Knock on wood!
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
It really is inevitable. There’s nothing white America loves more than redemption of white villains, and the villains don’t actually have to do anything redeeming to get it. The act of deeming them redeemed is taken as redemptive in and of itself.
Look I’m just trying to prepare y’all for the inevitable VF profile on “the quiet strength” of Majorie Taylor Greene
November 17, 2025 at 10:23 PM
It really is inevitable. There’s nothing white America loves more than redemption of white villains, and the villains don’t actually have to do anything redeeming to get it. The act of deeming them redeemed is taken as redemptive in and of itself.
A thoroughly underrated musician and album.
November 17, 2025 at 6:56 AM
A thoroughly underrated musician and album.
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
It occurs to me now that the discipline of history was not born out of reverence for the past, but rather out of somebody watching the people in charge make the most insane decisions and just being like “if I don’t write this down nobody’s ever gonna believe any of it happened”
November 16, 2025 at 3:10 PM
It occurs to me now that the discipline of history was not born out of reverence for the past, but rather out of somebody watching the people in charge make the most insane decisions and just being like “if I don’t write this down nobody’s ever gonna believe any of it happened”
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
"Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob."
—FDR, 1936
—FDR, 1936
November 16, 2025 at 12:30 AM
"Government by organized money is just as dangerous as Government by organized mob."
—FDR, 1936
—FDR, 1936
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Just had some MRIs, no I don’t remember how many or why but I do know it went better than any other MRI in history from a standpoint of medical
November 15, 2025 at 11:54 PM
Just had some MRIs, no I don’t remember how many or why but I do know it went better than any other MRI in history from a standpoint of medical
Reposted by Your friendly neighborhood Eli
Somewhere in a parallel universe there’s a platter of deviled eggs sitting on their couch thinking about fucking destroying me in two weeks
November 15, 2025 at 4:26 PM
Somewhere in a parallel universe there’s a platter of deviled eggs sitting on their couch thinking about fucking destroying me in two weeks
Honestly, this is an excellent opportunity for a lot of people to reflect on how they don't think things through. There are millions of guys who get called Bubba. South of the Mason-Dixon Line, it's gotta be in the top 5 of nicknames guys get called. Immediately connecting it from this story (1/2)
November 15, 2025 at 11:04 AM
Honestly, this is an excellent opportunity for a lot of people to reflect on how they don't think things through. There are millions of guys who get called Bubba. South of the Mason-Dixon Line, it's gotta be in the top 5 of nicknames guys get called. Immediately connecting it from this story (1/2)
You're at Simon
I need you Simon
For the nostalgia
I need you Simon
For the nostalgia
You're at Yeah
I need you Yeah
So we can reach Yeahs
I need you Yeah
So we can reach Yeahs
You're at Duran
I need you at Duran
So don't change a thing
I need you at Duran
So don't change a thing
November 15, 2025 at 10:24 AM
You're at Simon
I need you Simon
For the nostalgia
I need you Simon
For the nostalgia