Doktor Zoom
@doktorzoom.bsky.social
Wonkette writer & senior editor
I'm just an animal, looking for a home.
Retweets do not imply comprehension.
Born at 318.43 ppm atmospheric carbon.
He/him
In Idaho, but not of Idaho.
I'm just an animal, looking for a home.
Retweets do not imply comprehension.
Born at 318.43 ppm atmospheric carbon.
He/him
In Idaho, but not of Idaho.
Pinned
Texas Plato Massacre
It's the Platonic ideal of rightwing dickishness.
www.wonkette.com
Texas A&M issued a statement insisting that Plato isn't banned, "only the faggy parts." (We are paraphrasing slightly)
Texas Plato Massacre
www.wonkette.com/p/texas-plat...
Texas Plato Massacre
www.wonkette.com/p/texas-plat...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Everything is terrible but tonight I got to see Patti Smith read & perform at a small fundraiser with her son here in Michigan & she asked if we’d sing happy birthday to Joan Baez’ voicemail but JOAN ANSWERED (& she called Patti a rascal) & so tonight I sang happy birthday to Joan Baez and
January 10, 2026 at 3:43 AM
Everything is terrible but tonight I got to see Patti Smith read & perform at a small fundraiser with her son here in Michigan & she asked if we’d sing happy birthday to Joan Baez’ voicemail but JOAN ANSWERED (& she called Patti a rascal) & so tonight I sang happy birthday to Joan Baez and
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
/4 Trump and ICE and the rest of the fascist scum can murder and lie and oppress, but they can’t kill that decency that some real Americans have. They don’t have it, they are inadequate without it, and it infuriates them. But they can’t kill it.
January 9, 2026 at 3:50 PM
/4 Trump and ICE and the rest of the fascist scum can murder and lie and oppress, but they can’t kill that decency that some real Americans have. They don’t have it, they are inadequate without it, and it infuriates them. But they can’t kill it.
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
BIG FIGHT AT POLAND’S WROCLAW ZOO!!!
January 9, 2026 at 8:02 PM
BIG FIGHT AT POLAND’S WROCLAW ZOO!!!
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
There's a group of freaks running the country who think the video is exculpatory because it shows the kind of person that they think should be killed, and they're telling all of us that as a kind of insider vice signaling
In case she deletes it — whoah, Katie Miller. Tell us how you really feel
January 9, 2026 at 8:24 PM
There's a group of freaks running the country who think the video is exculpatory because it shows the kind of person that they think should be killed, and they're telling all of us that as a kind of insider vice signaling
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Over 20 Republicans Decide to Stop Being Shitheads Until After the Midterms.
We're not throwing any parades just yet, but this may portend future self-evacuations of the order Rodentia from a vessel suffering increasing buoyancy deficits.
*Over 20* Republicans Decide To Not Be Sh*theads, On Multiple Topics!
www.wonkette.com/p/over-20-re...
*Over 20* Republicans Decide To Not Be Sh*theads, On Multiple Topics!
www.wonkette.com/p/over-20-re...
*Over 20* Republicans Decide To Not Be Sh*theads, On Multiple Topics!
Seventeen voted to pass ACA extension; five voted to limit Trump in Venezuela; and Thom Tillis is out of blank checks for DHS.
www.wonkette.com
January 9, 2026 at 8:49 PM
Over 20 Republicans Decide to Stop Being Shitheads Until After the Midterms.
We're not throwing any parades just yet, but this may portend future self-evacuations of the order Rodentia from a vessel suffering increasing buoyancy deficits.
*Over 20* Republicans Decide To Not Be Sh*theads, On Multiple Topics!
www.wonkette.com/p/over-20-re...
*Over 20* Republicans Decide To Not Be Sh*theads, On Multiple Topics!
www.wonkette.com/p/over-20-re...
*Over 20* Republicans Decide To Not Be Sh*theads, On Multiple Topics!
Seventeen voted to pass ACA extension; five voted to limit Trump in Venezuela; and Thom Tillis is out of blank checks for DHS.
www.wonkette.com
January 9, 2026 at 8:39 PM
We're not throwing any parades just yet, but this may portend future self-evacuations of the order Rodentia from a vessel suffering increasing buoyancy deficits.
*Over 20* Republicans Decide To Not Be Sh*theads, On Multiple Topics!
www.wonkette.com/p/over-20-re...
*Over 20* Republicans Decide To Not Be Sh*theads, On Multiple Topics!
www.wonkette.com/p/over-20-re...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
idk how to explain this but the fact that this is Minnesota and the neighbours are standing right there heckling instead of helping is an act of war
This morning in Minneapolis, an ICE vehicle got stuck on an icy hill in a residential neighborhood. Agents had to push the vehicles out, some almost slipping in the ice themselves.
January 9, 2026 at 5:47 PM
idk how to explain this but the fact that this is Minnesota and the neighbours are standing right there heckling instead of helping is an act of war
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Ken Burns Announces New 10-Part ‘Mr. Biscuits’ Documentary After Adopting Cat https://theonion.com/ken-burns-announces-new-10-part-mr-biscuits-documentary-after-adopting-cat/
January 9, 2026 at 5:00 PM
Ken Burns Announces New 10-Part ‘Mr. Biscuits’ Documentary After Adopting Cat https://theonion.com/ken-burns-announces-new-10-part-mr-biscuits-documentary-after-adopting-cat/
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Got this very cute pic of Moe last night~
He knows he’s cute too and uses it to get extra treats, the spoiled little goober 😝
He knows he’s cute too and uses it to get extra treats, the spoiled little goober 😝
January 8, 2026 at 10:40 PM
Got this very cute pic of Moe last night~
He knows he’s cute too and uses it to get extra treats, the spoiled little goober 😝
He knows he’s cute too and uses it to get extra treats, the spoiled little goober 😝
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
I think it is probably a bad idea to put clearly unhinged, angry psychopaths in federal law enforcement positions.
January 9, 2026 at 2:15 PM
I think it is probably a bad idea to put clearly unhinged, angry psychopaths in federal law enforcement positions.
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Weird to be commemorating the 250th anniversary of the Am Rev while living under a government that has a) sent armed troops to occupy cities perceived to be too rebellious, b) rendered largely irrelevant the representative branch of government, and c) claimed imperial right to rule other countries.
January 9, 2026 at 3:10 PM
Weird to be commemorating the 250th anniversary of the Am Rev while living under a government that has a) sent armed troops to occupy cities perceived to be too rebellious, b) rendered largely irrelevant the representative branch of government, and c) claimed imperial right to rule other countries.
Where's all this "massive fraud" the administration says justifies the freeze on safety net programs? They don't have to tell you. It's just so massive!
Trump Freezes Help For Kids In Five Blue States To Punish Them For Being Enemies
www.wonkette.com/p/trump-free...
Trump Freezes Help For Kids In Five Blue States To Punish Them For Being Enemies
www.wonkette.com/p/trump-free...
Trump Freezes Help For Kids In Five Blue States To Punish Them For Being Enemies
That'll learn 'em.
www.wonkette.com
January 9, 2026 at 3:18 PM
Where's all this "massive fraud" the administration says justifies the freeze on safety net programs? They don't have to tell you. It's just so massive!
Trump Freezes Help For Kids In Five Blue States To Punish Them For Being Enemies
www.wonkette.com/p/trump-free...
Trump Freezes Help For Kids In Five Blue States To Punish Them For Being Enemies
www.wonkette.com/p/trump-free...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Rep. Wesley Hunt (TX-R): "The bottom line is this: when a federal officer gives you instructions, you abide by them and then you get to keep you life"
The Right went from Don't Tread on Me to Comply or Die in 12 months.
The Right went from Don't Tread on Me to Comply or Die in 12 months.
January 9, 2026 at 12:47 PM
Rep. Wesley Hunt (TX-R): "The bottom line is this: when a federal officer gives you instructions, you abide by them and then you get to keep you life"
The Right went from Don't Tread on Me to Comply or Die in 12 months.
The Right went from Don't Tread on Me to Comply or Die in 12 months.
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Martin Peterson's creative response to being banned from teaching Plato (shared with his permission).
January 8, 2026 at 5:38 PM
Martin Peterson's creative response to being banned from teaching Plato (shared with his permission).
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
🔥🔥🔥🔥
Martin Peterson's creative response to being banned from teaching Plato (shared with his permission).
January 8, 2026 at 10:10 PM
🔥🔥🔥🔥
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
According to my sources, the FBI was initially open to a concurrent investigation with the MN Bureau of Criminal Apprehension (the state agency that would do this investigation).
Trumpy U.S. Attorney Daniel Rosen heard about this and intervened, barring the FBI from cooperating with local police.
Trumpy U.S. Attorney Daniel Rosen heard about this and intervened, barring the FBI from cooperating with local police.
MINNEAPOLIS (AP) - Minnesota investigators say they can't access evidence after fatal ICE shooting and FBI won't work jointly on probe.
@reuters.com
@reuters.com
January 8, 2026 at 4:35 PM
According to my sources, the FBI was initially open to a concurrent investigation with the MN Bureau of Criminal Apprehension (the state agency that would do this investigation).
Trumpy U.S. Attorney Daniel Rosen heard about this and intervened, barring the FBI from cooperating with local police.
Trumpy U.S. Attorney Daniel Rosen heard about this and intervened, barring the FBI from cooperating with local police.
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
State of play:
Forensic reconstructions disprove the administration's account of events (NYT, WaPo, Bellingcat):
bsky.app/profile/elio...
Local investigators being denied access to evidence (AP):
apnews.com/live/minneap...
Demonstrators met with violence (CNN):
bsky.app/profile/atru...
Forensic reconstructions disprove the administration's account of events (NYT, WaPo, Bellingcat):
bsky.app/profile/elio...
Local investigators being denied access to evidence (AP):
apnews.com/live/minneap...
Demonstrators met with violence (CNN):
bsky.app/profile/atru...
For those keeping score, Bellingcat, The New York Times Visual Investigation Team, & Washington Post's Visual Forensic team have all published analysis showing the ICE shooter wasn't in the path of Renee Nicole Good’s vehicle when he shot her, contradicting statements by the President & his cronies
January 8, 2026 at 5:16 PM
State of play:
Forensic reconstructions disprove the administration's account of events (NYT, WaPo, Bellingcat):
bsky.app/profile/elio...
Local investigators being denied access to evidence (AP):
apnews.com/live/minneap...
Demonstrators met with violence (CNN):
bsky.app/profile/atru...
Forensic reconstructions disprove the administration's account of events (NYT, WaPo, Bellingcat):
bsky.app/profile/elio...
Local investigators being denied access to evidence (AP):
apnews.com/live/minneap...
Demonstrators met with violence (CNN):
bsky.app/profile/atru...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
it is the policy of this government to treat democratic-led states as conquered territories and the people therein as something like hostiles or even enemy combatants
Dr Oz threatens to pull Medicaid support for Minnesota: "Sticking to the narrative that's cold in Minnesota -- this is the tip of the iceberg"
January 7, 2026 at 11:52 PM
it is the policy of this government to treat democratic-led states as conquered territories and the people therein as something like hostiles or even enemy combatants
Americans who object to Trump’s ethnic cleansing campaign, or to the murder of other Americans, are nothing to these creeps.
Nazi Scumbags Go Wilding At Minneapolis High School
www.wonkette.com/p/nazi-scumb...
Nazi Scumbags Go Wilding At Minneapolis High School
www.wonkette.com/p/nazi-scumb...
Nazi Scumbags Go Wilding At Minneapolis High School
Fucking Nazi scumbags.
www.wonkette.com
January 8, 2026 at 7:44 PM
Americans who object to Trump’s ethnic cleansing campaign, or to the murder of other Americans, are nothing to these creeps.
Nazi Scumbags Go Wilding At Minneapolis High School
www.wonkette.com/p/nazi-scumb...
Nazi Scumbags Go Wilding At Minneapolis High School
www.wonkette.com/p/nazi-scumb...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
1. ICE will kill you.
2. Trumpists will lie to justify it.
3. Because they are all thug trash.
2. Trumpists will lie to justify it.
3. Because they are all thug trash.
January 8, 2026 at 1:10 AM
1. ICE will kill you.
2. Trumpists will lie to justify it.
3. Because they are all thug trash.
2. Trumpists will lie to justify it.
3. Because they are all thug trash.
To be fair, it IS a bigger boat.
apnews.com/article/new-... dead whale found on the bow of a ship in New Jersey sparks an investigation
A dead whale found on the bow of a ship in New Jersey sparks an investigation
The death of a whale found on the bow of a container ship at a port along the Delaware River in southern New Jersey is under investigation.
apnews.com
January 8, 2026 at 3:26 PM
To be fair, it IS a bigger boat.
Texas A&M issued a statement insisting that Plato isn't banned, "only the faggy parts." (We are paraphrasing slightly)
Texas Plato Massacre
www.wonkette.com/p/texas-plat...
Texas Plato Massacre
www.wonkette.com/p/texas-plat...
Texas Plato Massacre
It's the Platonic ideal of rightwing dickishness.
www.wonkette.com
January 8, 2026 at 3:25 PM
Texas A&M issued a statement insisting that Plato isn't banned, "only the faggy parts." (We are paraphrasing slightly)
Texas Plato Massacre
www.wonkette.com/p/texas-plat...
Texas Plato Massacre
www.wonkette.com/p/texas-plat...
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
This is what people on Fox are like. People watch Fox because they like this.
Jesse Watters highlights that Renee Nicole Good, the woman killed by ICE, had "pronouns in her bio" and "leaves behind a lesbian partner and a child from a previous marriage"
January 8, 2026 at 4:30 AM
This is what people on Fox are like. People watch Fox because they like this.
Reposted by Doktor Zoom
“God damn them all.”
January 8, 2026 at 1:35 PM
“God damn them all.”