The Joke Calculator
@dewno.bsky.social
I'm the world-famous Joke Calculator.
Still a bit confused by how this new website works. Not a fan of the drama and personalities on here. Just my take. (he/him)
Still a bit confused by how this new website works. Not a fan of the drama and personalities on here. Just my take. (he/him)
We all like our little jokes on this site, but please avoid spreading misinformation. The simple fact is that his plane experienced mechanical failure on takeoff where the plane's small wheels "tripped" over a radio tower's guy wire, sending the plane chaotically hurtling end over end into the air.
January 21, 2026 at 7:19 AM
We all like our little jokes on this site, but please avoid spreading misinformation. The simple fact is that his plane experienced mechanical failure on takeoff where the plane's small wheels "tripped" over a radio tower's guy wire, sending the plane chaotically hurtling end over end into the air.
KD benefits from a number of passive abilities:
-Lucky Devil: Beard short & inobtrusive, but strangely devilish. Buff to charisma w/ no alignment shift.
-Slow Roller: Time itself enters a wormhole-like distortion around him, granting him an extra frame for combos.
-Glass of Water: He is quite tall.
-Lucky Devil: Beard short & inobtrusive, but strangely devilish. Buff to charisma w/ no alignment shift.
-Slow Roller: Time itself enters a wormhole-like distortion around him, granting him an extra frame for combos.
-Glass of Water: He is quite tall.
January 21, 2026 at 3:12 AM
KD benefits from a number of passive abilities:
-Lucky Devil: Beard short & inobtrusive, but strangely devilish. Buff to charisma w/ no alignment shift.
-Slow Roller: Time itself enters a wormhole-like distortion around him, granting him an extra frame for combos.
-Glass of Water: He is quite tall.
-Lucky Devil: Beard short & inobtrusive, but strangely devilish. Buff to charisma w/ no alignment shift.
-Slow Roller: Time itself enters a wormhole-like distortion around him, granting him an extra frame for combos.
-Glass of Water: He is quite tall.
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
Immigration officers are caught on video violating policy, training, and settled law pretty much every day. The administration just cheers them on. What makes anyone think they're going to implement any of these "guardrails?" They think de-escalation is woke.
This is just giving them more money.
This is just giving them more money.
Other aspects:
-de-escalation training for ICE and CBP officers
-training all law officers and agents, on Americans’ right to record any interactions.
-Provides line-item funding ($20 million) for mandated, independent oversight of detention facilities
www.appropriations.senate.gov/imo/media/do...
-de-escalation training for ICE and CBP officers
-training all law officers and agents, on Americans’ right to record any interactions.
-Provides line-item funding ($20 million) for mandated, independent oversight of detention facilities
www.appropriations.senate.gov/imo/media/do...
www.appropriations.senate.gov
January 20, 2026 at 11:39 PM
Immigration officers are caught on video violating policy, training, and settled law pretty much every day. The administration just cheers them on. What makes anyone think they're going to implement any of these "guardrails?" They think de-escalation is woke.
This is just giving them more money.
This is just giving them more money.
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Mamdani: "I am in support of abolishing ICE. What we see is an entity that has no interest in fulfilling its stated reason to exist. We're seeing a government agency that is supposed to be enforcing some kind of immigration law, but instead what it's doing is terrorizing people."
January 20, 2026 at 4:56 PM
Mamdani: "I am in support of abolishing ICE. What we see is an entity that has no interest in fulfilling its stated reason to exist. We're seeing a government agency that is supposed to be enforcing some kind of immigration law, but instead what it's doing is terrorizing people."
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also - it's almost like there was and is an ongoing violent criminal occupation of American cities that blew up between Mamdani's campaign and Schumer's comments. Circumstances change, and messages should reflect that.
January 20, 2026 at 4:23 PM
also - it's almost like there was and is an ongoing violent criminal occupation of American cities that blew up between Mamdani's campaign and Schumer's comments. Circumstances change, and messages should reflect that.
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imo they're not taking ICE as seriously as they can because of a mix of "well defund/abolish is a thing we've been told polls poorly" and "we tried running on saving democracy in 2024 and it did not work," without asking questions *why* it did not work and *why* zohran's affordability message did
January 20, 2026 at 4:09 PM
imo they're not taking ICE as seriously as they can because of a mix of "well defund/abolish is a thing we've been told polls poorly" and "we tried running on saving democracy in 2024 and it did not work," without asking questions *why* it did not work and *why* zohran's affordability message did
Ethos matters and always has. Messaging doesn't exist in a vacuum. They're using 'affordability' to avoid taking hard stands on Trump's actions, whereas Mamdani essentially called Gaza a genocide and Trump a fascist (however diplomatically) to Trump's face. So ZM's 'focus' claim has more cred.
The pivot from "Mamdani is a political genius for focusing his message almost entirely on affordability" to "Schumer is a political moron for focusing his message almost entirely on affordability" is odd.
January 20, 2026 at 4:03 PM
Ethos matters and always has. Messaging doesn't exist in a vacuum. They're using 'affordability' to avoid taking hard stands on Trump's actions, whereas Mamdani essentially called Gaza a genocide and Trump a fascist (however diplomatically) to Trump's face. So ZM's 'focus' claim has more cred.
Reposted by The Joke Calculator
A century of what now, @nytimes.com ?
January 20, 2026 at 3:15 PM
A century of what now, @nytimes.com ?
For narrative reasons, Indiana is going to have to decide whether to go for it again on 4th down one last time, that's the needle drop
January 20, 2026 at 3:59 AM
For narrative reasons, Indiana is going to have to decide whether to go for it again on 4th down one last time, that's the needle drop
Going for it on 4th and 5 twice in a row up 3 is one of the wildest playcalls I've ever seen in sports. It makes perfect sense, but no one ever has that kind of confidence.
January 20, 2026 at 3:41 AM
Going for it on 4th and 5 twice in a row up 3 is one of the wildest playcalls I've ever seen in sports. It makes perfect sense, but no one ever has that kind of confidence.
\me watching a Tony Parker documentary that turns out mostly to be about off-court life instead of a mix of on-court and off-court stuff because my favorite player is Robert Horry and getting residual Horry tidbits was the main reason I rented it in the first place\
"All about Eva. What about Bob?"
"All about Eva. What about Bob?"
January 19, 2026 at 7:03 PM
\me watching a Tony Parker documentary that turns out mostly to be about off-court life instead of a mix of on-court and off-court stuff because my favorite player is Robert Horry and getting residual Horry tidbits was the main reason I rented it in the first place\
"All about Eva. What about Bob?"
"All about Eva. What about Bob?"
are scones actually good? i've never had a really good one and everyone says they're great. do i need to find an amazing bakery and get them fresh out of the oven? i had a good cheesecake for the first time ever (props to my friend who cooked it), so I'm not just saying this to bicker with consensus
January 18, 2026 at 5:32 PM
are scones actually good? i've never had a really good one and everyone says they're great. do i need to find an amazing bakery and get them fresh out of the oven? i had a good cheesecake for the first time ever (props to my friend who cooked it), so I'm not just saying this to bicker with consensus
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this is a level of casual, petty depravity that defies comprehension. www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...
ICE agents ate at a Minnesota Mexican restaurant before arresting staff
Immigration law enforcement agents reportedly followed employees out of the restaurant after they closed for the evening
www.independent.co.uk
January 17, 2026 at 2:04 PM
this is a level of casual, petty depravity that defies comprehension. www.independent.co.uk/news/world/a...
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Feel like there are a lot of people happy to jump in my mentions worried about op-sec or whatever; and like no, I want people to know what I am doing because we have to take stand and help each other. Fuck these clown.
January 17, 2026 at 3:11 AM
Feel like there are a lot of people happy to jump in my mentions worried about op-sec or whatever; and like no, I want people to know what I am doing because we have to take stand and help each other. Fuck these clown.
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A former federal agent after watching the New York Times breakdown of the ICE shooting:
January 16, 2026 at 8:16 PM
A former federal agent after watching the New York Times breakdown of the ICE shooting:
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the leaders of the civil rights era could not propose or veto legislation. they had no "power." but they had legitimacy because they were out there. Letter from a Birmingham Jail was written...FROM JAIL. But with these guys "Hey it's crazy right now and we can't do much, but give us money." LOL ok.
January 16, 2026 at 5:37 PM
the leaders of the civil rights era could not propose or veto legislation. they had no "power." but they had legitimacy because they were out there. Letter from a Birmingham Jail was written...FROM JAIL. But with these guys "Hey it's crazy right now and we can't do much, but give us money." LOL ok.
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Andrew Wakefield has an ocean of blood on his hands.
Shocking map of deteriorating vaccine coverage in the US. Many counties have measles vaccination rates of <60% in kids younger than 5.
New map shows how to spot the measles risk level in your ZIP code
For the first time, a map allows people to type in their ZIP code and determine the risk of measles in their area based on vaccination coverage.
abcnews.go.com
January 16, 2026 at 5:32 PM
Andrew Wakefield has an ocean of blood on his hands.
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When law-and-order types point out that only a small percentage of people killed by police each year were unarmed, keep in mind that Renee Good will be classified as "armed."
January 15, 2026 at 10:01 PM
When law-and-order types point out that only a small percentage of people killed by police each year were unarmed, keep in mind that Renee Good will be classified as "armed."
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I think it's even worse than most people realize, and most people know it is bad
January 15, 2026 at 11:33 PM
I think it's even worse than most people realize, and most people know it is bad
After having a meltdown over ICE/MPLS, I decided to slow down, carefully reconstruct the situation, and consider whether I was being manipulated by the algorithm--whether I was generally overreacting to the many, many people I know on here from MPLS
And, uh... Nope. It's, uh, actually that bad?
And, uh... Nope. It's, uh, actually that bad?
January 15, 2026 at 11:18 PM
After having a meltdown over ICE/MPLS, I decided to slow down, carefully reconstruct the situation, and consider whether I was being manipulated by the algorithm--whether I was generally overreacting to the many, many people I know on here from MPLS
And, uh... Nope. It's, uh, actually that bad?
And, uh... Nope. It's, uh, actually that bad?
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You aren't actually overreacting other people are sleepwalking.
January 15, 2026 at 10:39 PM
You aren't actually overreacting other people are sleepwalking.
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I am making a direct appeal to Cobra Commander:
January 15, 2026 at 5:25 PM
I am making a direct appeal to Cobra Commander:
Me, turning my back to the crowd to address my enemy: "Listen, buddy. Please back down. We're all trying to do what's right. You don't want this. This is not who we are."
Me, turning my back to my enemy to address the crowd: "Remember, this guy just wants chaos. Let's not give him a fight."
Me, turning my back to my enemy to address the crowd: "Remember, this guy just wants chaos. Let's not give him a fight."
January 15, 2026 at 5:26 PM
Me, turning my back to the crowd to address my enemy: "Listen, buddy. Please back down. We're all trying to do what's right. You don't want this. This is not who we are."
Me, turning my back to my enemy to address the crowd: "Remember, this guy just wants chaos. Let's not give him a fight."
Me, turning my back to my enemy to address the crowd: "Remember, this guy just wants chaos. Let's not give him a fight."
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On the ground here in Minnesota, it’s hard to reconcile the immense bonds of community that have been built in a week with the fact that we live in a country whose government appropriated billions of dollars to an unaccountable paramilitary force whose sole purpose is ethnic cleansing.
January 15, 2026 at 5:05 AM
On the ground here in Minnesota, it’s hard to reconcile the immense bonds of community that have been built in a week with the fact that we live in a country whose government appropriated billions of dollars to an unaccountable paramilitary force whose sole purpose is ethnic cleansing.
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the problem with an untrained secret police squad that shoots people in their cars isn’t that they’re untrained
January 15, 2026 at 1:19 AM
the problem with an untrained secret police squad that shoots people in their cars isn’t that they’re untrained