dave
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daverson.bsky.social
dave
@daverson.bsky.social
hey did i ever tell you hwut
🏳️‍🌈 You can be yourself with me 🏳️‍⚧️

🚫NO CLANKERS🚫

Nunquam libertas gratior extat

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i wish i was taller
i wish i was a baller
i wish i could drop turds that were a little bit smaller
November 11, 2025 at 3:39 PM
this stuff - vegeta seasoning, imported from Poland - is "magic powder." i use this in everything from bechamel sauce to chicken soup — anything with a broth, sauce, or gravy tastes better with li'l cast of magic powder to bring other flavors into balance.

(the tin ain't airtight, hence the jar.)
November 11, 2025 at 3:19 PM
Reposted by dave
yamburger yelper
November 11, 2025 at 1:28 PM
the eagles beat the packers 10-7.

all of those points were scored in the 4th, fucking game was TIGHT even though i'm sorry philly won
November 11, 2025 at 4:24 AM
there once was a man from dubuque
who struggled to hold in his poop
while dining one day
his wife turned to say,
"stop making that noise with your soup."
November 10, 2025 at 11:01 PM
stopped at our usual cider mill over the weekend and they had something new: pear cider. it tastes like biting into a fresh pear.

the orchard owner said they had a bumper crop of pears this year, so many he don't think he'd be able to sell them all so the decision was made to crush em
November 10, 2025 at 9:45 PM
Reposted by dave
The explosion of the atomic bomb was so intense it burned "shadows" into walls
November 9, 2025 at 7:35 PM
i was at the thrift store and they had a 1970s ?farberware countertop toaster oven, bigger than average, with more knobs & shit than typical.

turns out it was a countertop convection oven — what we now know as an air fryer
November 10, 2025 at 9:08 PM
old guy down the street just got amberlamped out but this time no lights or siren so either it's not critical, or he dead
November 10, 2025 at 8:08 PM
Reposted by dave
getting tea bagged by Canada
November 10, 2025 at 5:46 PM
hey guys gerber makes baby food vienna sausages, i bought a jar on markdown.

absolutely flavorless, its like going down on a ghost

the label says they's for your "crawler" lol
November 10, 2025 at 6:19 AM
Reposted by dave
November 10, 2025 at 12:21 AM
that french balzac guy, i bet he got teased a lot in school
November 9, 2025 at 11:52 PM
the NFL is the most jingoisticly nationalist of any sports league, and i really hate them for that
November 9, 2025 at 11:50 PM
makin hot dogs & watching a football game, just doing sunday like any other middle aged white guy
November 9, 2025 at 11:43 PM
mrs d says she lost a lot of her sense of taste to covid, so imma play a joke tomorrow and make her a pot of coffee with this here hot dog water
November 9, 2025 at 11:41 PM
if there's 2 things certain to break a human brain they are:

1. for all practical purposes, we are alone in this galaxy (if not the universe)

2. death is oblivion
November 9, 2025 at 8:09 PM
they wrote a wholeass article when they could have just answered the headline with a single word — "no."
November 9, 2025 at 6:44 AM
Reposted by dave
‘We’ll be right back with more Who Gives a Shit after this’
November 8, 2025 at 10:38 PM
how long does it take for someone you haven't seen in a long time to stop being a friend and start being an acquaintance?
November 8, 2025 at 11:07 PM
Reposted by dave
if Meowth was real i’d be like “shut up”
November 8, 2025 at 6:56 PM
gender is performance but tell me, young pokémon trainer: are you a boy or a girl?
November 8, 2025 at 7:43 PM
Reposted by dave
Sorry but titty fuckin and caviar are for rich people. We do butt stuff and baked beans round here. ::spits::
November 8, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Reposted by dave
My dad was complaining yesterday about how Mamdani was gonna start forcing people to learn Arabic numerals, and when I told him we use Arabic numerals he just went on about how he meant something different

I’m living in an Onion article
November 8, 2025 at 12:17 PM
if we actually did invent a time machine & went back to ☠︎︎ baby hitl0r, we'd now be talking about going back in time to ☠︎︎ a different baby because the economic & political atmosphere in germany would have created a different dictator
November 8, 2025 at 6:19 AM