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I actually feel better when I’m high has anyone else experienced this
January 2, 2026 at 1:07 AM
been about 30 years since I've stolen anybody's wife
January 2, 2026 at 1:20 AM
I wonder what the first 2026 LP will be to join my collection, idk of anything on the horizon
January 2, 2026 at 12:53 AM
dorkily getting angry with a computer, saying something like, "acknowledge my input, bitch!!!"
January 2, 2026 at 12:01 AM
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Deborah Auchery
January 1, 2026 at 9:32 PM
here's some ingredients for a joke post I'm too lazy to cook:

Loki (Norse god) and the phrase low-key (they sound the same but have different meanings, i.e. homophones)

if anyone has a thing for homophonic jokes
January 1, 2026 at 9:33 PM
been indulging in more rosin dabs around the holidays and just joked to myself about how I'm slacking off going thru the actual weed stash, like I need to work harder on it and be more committed/serious
January 1, 2026 at 9:00 PM
i wish pirating media actually had as negative an effect as its detractors say it does

like, what if u could download Stranger Things 1000000x and if everybody did it then Netflix went bankrupt and the executives died
January 1, 2026 at 8:08 PM
I really like saying "dear reader" might get really into it this year
January 1, 2026 at 6:19 PM
just looked up a professor I suddenly remembered for being an asshole and lol at myself when I reflexively said, "I hope he's dead"

it turns out, dear reader, that he is! 😄
January 1, 2026 at 6:15 PM
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It’s actually socialist to consume items made with care, for which its crafters are properly compensated, as these miista boots are. it’s capitalistic to wear cheap shit made by wage slaves.
New York Post looks normal
January 1, 2026 at 5:59 PM
when a professional athlete grew up with a parent who did the exact same thing

ok, wow -- how did you find your path in life? must've been such a fraught journey of self-discovery 🙄
January 1, 2026 at 5:44 PM
commemorating the new year by scrubbing most of the rust and soap scum out of the dish rack; something I have never done before
January 1, 2026 at 5:37 PM
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Bono, from U2 - "New Year's Day," voice:

🎶 oh I want to beef with you beef with you night and day 🎶
December 24, 2025 at 6:22 PM
what if a pirate invented the "Land lover's pizza" and instead of it being topped with either land or literal land lover flesh it was just stuff that wouldn't offend their non-seafaring sensibilities

probably would be confusing and not capture a large market, imo
December 31, 2025 at 10:54 PM
I'm so fucking back w this shit

toasted English muffin, one side with cheese other butter, 2 ring mold eggs w broken yolk, 2 slices Canadian bacon, handful of fresh spinach wilted down
after stripping and re-seasoning my cast iron skillet I have been rewarded with extreme difficulty in producing these nice ring mold fried eggs now 😭
so McD legal wants to sue me for IP infringement? ok suck my cunt!
December 31, 2025 at 8:05 PM
Should auld acquaintance be for God?
December 31, 2025 at 7:03 PM
🎶 from she to shining she 🎶
December 31, 2025 at 6:21 PM
today im asking myself, is this acct i follow (that doesn't fw me) actually worth following another yr or will i still see their good posts no matter what?
December 31, 2025 at 5:44 PM
reevaluating my relationship to certain shit
December 31, 2025 at 5:59 AM
young Bryan Cranston is a villain in Airwolf S3E17 Desperate Monday (1986)

(for all the Cranheads)
December 31, 2025 at 5:27 AM
must feel so good for a sword for someone to be girt with it
December 31, 2025 at 3:52 AM
swinger dudes love that Beatles song where they go, 🎶 Got to get you into my wife!!! 🎶
December 31, 2025 at 1:11 AM
the torrent i used to get these has some rather poor quality VHS rips (hilariously squiggly lines on what should be straight edges of wood) and moreover hgtv ads starting at season 5 and on (the time capsule effect is cute at first but not as much once you've ffwd thru them 100x)
binging New Yankee Workshop in the mornings lately
December 30, 2025 at 10:46 PM
muting every account on what's hot that makes moderation hide their images, and sparing every other one that hides it themselves -- I won't look at your pics but at least you respect that I might not want to, unlike the other exhibitionist freaks, so i won't dismiss you entirely
December 30, 2025 at 9:53 PM