Aaron
@culitopicante.bsky.social
Just here for the zip line.
My skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:viot2n7f3y4k43hqfaudj5y2/feed/aaab53eej3pda
Formerly IAmDadSerious, IKEA_Stuff and Aaron_2Go of Twitter
https://linktr.ee/aaronsthings
My skeets: https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:viot2n7f3y4k43hqfaudj5y2/feed/aaab53eej3pda
Formerly IAmDadSerious, IKEA_Stuff and Aaron_2Go of Twitter
https://linktr.ee/aaronsthings
You know you’re REALLY married when you slap your wife on the butt so hard she says “I almost shit my pants.”
December 21, 2024 at 4:17 AM
You know you’re REALLY married when you slap your wife on the butt so hard she says “I almost shit my pants.”
I have always wanted to grow out one of my pinky nails into a respectable coke nail but it always ends up breaking when I pop open the cans.
December 17, 2024 at 9:02 PM
I have always wanted to grow out one of my pinky nails into a respectable coke nail but it always ends up breaking when I pop open the cans.
Follow me for more tips and tricks on stuff I’m not proficient at.
December 12, 2024 at 6:39 PM
Follow me for more tips and tricks on stuff I’m not proficient at.
Reposted by Aaron
She’s a 10 but she’s actually two 4’s and a 2 in a trench coat
December 7, 2024 at 5:24 PM
She’s a 10 but she’s actually two 4’s and a 2 in a trench coat
“Lucky” is relative.
To some, being lucky is winning the lottery.
To others it’s eating some cookie dough and no one saying a goddamn thing about how “bAd It iS tO eAt RaW eGgS”.
To some, being lucky is winning the lottery.
To others it’s eating some cookie dough and no one saying a goddamn thing about how “bAd It iS tO eAt RaW eGgS”.
December 7, 2024 at 10:16 PM
“Lucky” is relative.
To some, being lucky is winning the lottery.
To others it’s eating some cookie dough and no one saying a goddamn thing about how “bAd It iS tO eAt RaW eGgS”.
To some, being lucky is winning the lottery.
To others it’s eating some cookie dough and no one saying a goddamn thing about how “bAd It iS tO eAt RaW eGgS”.
Body Armor sport drink sales are skyrocketing.
December 5, 2024 at 9:34 PM
Body Armor sport drink sales are skyrocketing.
Guys, do you see that? There at the bottom of this Blue Bunny Double Fudge Brownie ice cream?
Do you know what that is?
Solace.
Happiness.
Do you know what that is?
Solace.
Happiness.
December 5, 2024 at 4:52 AM
Guys, do you see that? There at the bottom of this Blue Bunny Double Fudge Brownie ice cream?
Do you know what that is?
Solace.
Happiness.
Do you know what that is?
Solace.
Happiness.
A rock shop just moved in next to the dispensary in my town.
An obvious crack cocaine front if I’ve ever seen one.
An obvious crack cocaine front if I’ve ever seen one.
December 5, 2024 at 1:54 AM
A rock shop just moved in next to the dispensary in my town.
An obvious crack cocaine front if I’ve ever seen one.
An obvious crack cocaine front if I’ve ever seen one.
Reposted by Aaron
You don't recognize them as jazz hands because I have avant-garde jazz hands with mild grindcore influences
December 4, 2024 at 11:27 PM
You don't recognize them as jazz hands because I have avant-garde jazz hands with mild grindcore influences
Reposted by Aaron
Bird puns? Owl allow them.
December 4, 2024 at 1:31 AM
Bird puns? Owl allow them.
Reposted by Aaron
Detective: Can you describe the man who shot you?
Me: He seemed mad
Me: He seemed mad
December 4, 2024 at 5:14 AM
Detective: Can you describe the man who shot you?
Me: He seemed mad
Me: He seemed mad
Yesterday my 5 year old informed me that Santa does parkour.
I’m gonna die this Christmas.
I’m gonna die this Christmas.
December 3, 2024 at 8:53 PM
Yesterday my 5 year old informed me that Santa does parkour.
I’m gonna die this Christmas.
I’m gonna die this Christmas.
Reposted by Aaron
I love when someone is so butthurt they need a wider audience to know or they won't feel their butthurt has been stamped with the validation stamp for free parking in Butthurtville
December 3, 2024 at 7:11 PM
I love when someone is so butthurt they need a wider audience to know or they won't feel their butthurt has been stamped with the validation stamp for free parking in Butthurtville
I’m traveling for Thanksgiving and just wondering if there’s a particular Depends out there for “we-can’t-afford-to-stop-again, roadtrip diarrhea”.
November 26, 2024 at 6:10 PM
I’m traveling for Thanksgiving and just wondering if there’s a particular Depends out there for “we-can’t-afford-to-stop-again, roadtrip diarrhea”.
Reposted by Aaron
[remembering that women like guys who are different] My favorite part of the popsicle is the stick
November 26, 2024 at 8:02 AM
[remembering that women like guys who are different] My favorite part of the popsicle is the stick
Reposted by Aaron
It's a shame that diss tracks never crossed over to alternative rock. I would've loved to hear billy corgan yowling about his petty grievances toward our lady peace or whatever
November 26, 2024 at 8:12 AM
It's a shame that diss tracks never crossed over to alternative rock. I would've loved to hear billy corgan yowling about his petty grievances toward our lady peace or whatever
Reposted by Aaron
Hal hadn’t survived three Thanksgivings by being stupid.
November 25, 2024 at 4:59 PM
Hal hadn’t survived three Thanksgivings by being stupid.
Reposted by Aaron
how to filter out baking recipes published march 2020
November 26, 2024 at 12:34 PM
how to filter out baking recipes published march 2020
Reposted by Aaron
danny devito is the most underrated disney princess
November 25, 2024 at 6:29 PM
danny devito is the most underrated disney princess
Reposted by Aaron
I’m headed to the Walgreens that’s always out of everything. Anyone need nothing?
November 25, 2024 at 10:43 PM
I’m headed to the Walgreens that’s always out of everything. Anyone need nothing?
Reposted by Aaron
“I asked you not to do it. I said, Charlie, please don’t make your stupid joke, it’s not funny. But, still, when the waiter brought the check, what did you say? What did you say, Charlie?”
“No thanks, I’ve already got a big bill.”
“It’s like going out to dinner with my father!”
“No thanks, I’ve already got a big bill.”
“It’s like going out to dinner with my father!”
November 26, 2024 at 2:10 AM
“I asked you not to do it. I said, Charlie, please don’t make your stupid joke, it’s not funny. But, still, when the waiter brought the check, what did you say? What did you say, Charlie?”
“No thanks, I’ve already got a big bill.”
“It’s like going out to dinner with my father!”
“No thanks, I’ve already got a big bill.”
“It’s like going out to dinner with my father!”
Reposted by Aaron
date: I think we’ve actually met before
Picasso: sorry I’m not good with faces
Picasso: sorry I’m not good with faces
November 25, 2024 at 8:39 PM
date: I think we’ve actually met before
Picasso: sorry I’m not good with faces
Picasso: sorry I’m not good with faces