Cory of House Pants
@corypants.bsky.social
Internet User, spoony bard, 100% brat on those BDSM quizzes, big “I love my pan wife” energy, comic books are neat, elder millennial, Appalachian expat, wishing for 4 day work week, he/they
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
hello, is this the newspaper. i would like to announce that i can't get laid. no, i don't mean a personal ad. i want to be in the news part of the newspaper. no i will NOT hold for a manager.
📢 “A huge amount of men between the age of 15 and 50 will not pass on their genes. They will effectively die out of the gene pool ... Should society intervene?” Steven Bartlett asked last year.
Two top podcasters have identified a global decline. The problem, they say, is women
www.smh.com.au
February 3, 2026 at 5:46 PM
hello, is this the newspaper. i would like to announce that i can't get laid. no, i don't mean a personal ad. i want to be in the news part of the newspaper. no i will NOT hold for a manager.
I had two skeets hit 100 likes yesterday, does this unlock the next posting tier? Do I get to post Alf hog indiscriminately now?
February 3, 2026 at 5:06 PM
I had two skeets hit 100 likes yesterday, does this unlock the next posting tier? Do I get to post Alf hog indiscriminately now?
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
It’s more likely that the dude actually had shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch than whatever this guy is talking about lol
Of all the things in the history of the world that definitely did not happen - this is the pinnacle.
February 3, 2026 at 2:00 AM
It’s more likely that the dude actually had shrimp tails in his Cinnamon Toast Crunch than whatever this guy is talking about lol
The judiciary is doing a lot of lifting that the democrats in congress are getting paid to do but somehow choose not to.
A federal judge blocked the Trump administration from ending temporary protections that have allowed 350,000 Haitians to live and work in the U.S.
Federal judge blocks Trump administration from ending temporary legal status for Haitians in the US
A federal judge has blocked the Trump administration from ending temporary protections that have allowed roughly 350,000 Haitians to live and work in the United States.
bit.ly
February 3, 2026 at 1:40 AM
The judiciary is doing a lot of lifting that the democrats in congress are getting paid to do but somehow choose not to.
Oh cool so the federal government, which keeps SpaceX in business, will now fund Elon’s child porn app. Cool.
A memo just went out to employees at two of Musk's companies: SpaceX has acquired xAI.
February 2, 2026 at 9:58 PM
Oh cool so the federal government, which keeps SpaceX in business, will now fund Elon’s child porn app. Cool.
I like that the republicans went from “OBAMA IS GONNA TELL YOU WHICH DOCTORS YOU CAN USE” to “Clippy is now your gynecologist.”
Dr Oz on rural healthcare: "There's no question about it, whether you want it or not -- the best way to help some of these communities is gonna be AI-based avatars"
February 2, 2026 at 8:35 PM
I like that the republicans went from “OBAMA IS GONNA TELL YOU WHICH DOCTORS YOU CAN USE” to “Clippy is now your gynecologist.”
“Ignore all the actual reporting on this issue and instead read what Turbocock69 has to say about it on substack” isn’t the flex Neil thinks it is.
It brings me no joy to report that Ne*l Gaim*n has broken his silence in the dumbest, least effective way possible: by telling his Instagram followers to read Substack posts (written by somebody else) that allegedly prove the allegations are just a "smear campaign"
Oh and he's writing a new novel 🤮
Oh and he's writing a new novel 🤮
Neil Gaiman on Instagram
12K likes, 0 comments - neilhimself on February 2, 2026
www.instagram.com
February 2, 2026 at 8:15 PM
“Ignore all the actual reporting on this issue and instead read what Turbocock69 has to say about it on substack” isn’t the flex Neil thinks it is.
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
Billie Eilish: "No one is illegal on stolen land"
February 2, 2026 at 3:15 AM
Billie Eilish: "No one is illegal on stolen land"
Sweet baby lesbian Jesus
February 2, 2026 at 1:19 AM
Sweet baby lesbian Jesus
Trebuchet my body directly at the White House
When ICE murders you, how would you like the community to honor you? Vigil? Bike ride? Sit in? Something else?
February 1, 2026 at 6:51 AM
Trebuchet my body directly at the White House
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
Why bother with a racist show run by maga sex perverts when you can watch Japanese lesbians fighting giant pandas with a hammer?
February 1, 2026 at 5:09 AM
Why bother with a racist show run by maga sex perverts when you can watch Japanese lesbians fighting giant pandas with a hammer?
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
BARI WEISS: Well, time to hire another new correspondent for CBS News. (Starts flipping through a huge tome titled “The Big Book of Pedophiles and Their Contact Information”)
January 31, 2026 at 4:15 PM
BARI WEISS: Well, time to hire another new correspondent for CBS News. (Starts flipping through a huge tome titled “The Big Book of Pedophiles and Their Contact Information”)
Elon Musk begged for a ticket to the sexual assault island, got left on read, eventually got told to fuck off in a completely condescending way, and managed to “M’lady” noted pedophile Jeffery Epstein. The Trump regime had this doc, and still gave him everyone’s social security numbers.
January 31, 2026 at 3:42 AM
Elon Musk begged for a ticket to the sexual assault island, got left on read, eventually got told to fuck off in a completely condescending way, and managed to “M’lady” noted pedophile Jeffery Epstein. The Trump regime had this doc, and still gave him everyone’s social security numbers.
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
one of my favorites… it takes on a different meaning now in a way. thanks, Catherine O’Hara.
youtu.be/3eflj2EWZzg?...
youtu.be/3eflj2EWZzg?...
A Kiss At The End Of The Rainbow from A Mighty Wind
YouTube video by JaMora
youtu.be
January 31, 2026 at 12:03 AM
one of my favorites… it takes on a different meaning now in a way. thanks, Catherine O’Hara.
youtu.be/3eflj2EWZzg?...
youtu.be/3eflj2EWZzg?...
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
This fucking sucks.
Catherine O'Hara, the actor who starred as Kate McCallister in “Home Alone,” has died at 71, TMZ reports
Catherine O'Hara Dead at 71
Catherine O'Hara -- famous for her work in "Schitt's Creek," "Home Alone," and "Best In Show" -- is dead ... TMZ has learned.
www.tmz.com
January 30, 2026 at 6:41 PM
This fucking sucks.
Reposted by Cory of House Pants
The internet
January 28, 2026 at 9:01 PM
The internet
I don’t think it was smart of him to replace the skin on his face with the skin from a dead orangutan’s scrotum.
i have not jumped on the “any day now” bandwagon thus far, but he legitimately looks near death in this photo.
January 29, 2026 at 2:20 AM
I don’t think it was smart of him to replace the skin on his face with the skin from a dead orangutan’s scrotum.
New branch of government dropped
Trump: "China will be sending me a bill very shortly supporting year round E15 to my desk, and I will sign it without delay"
January 27, 2026 at 11:36 PM
New branch of government dropped
New CBS contributors announced: Pontiff Sulyvahn, Swordfoot Warhawks, Rykard Lord of Blasphemy, Ludwig the Accursed, the Godskin Duo, Laurence the First Vicar, Orphan of Kos, the Demon of Hatred, the Capra Demon, and The Loathsome Dung Eater.
New CBS contributors announced: Grand Moff Tarkin, Lex Luthor, Norman Osborn, Cruella De Ville, Javert, Titus Andronicus, Killmonger, and the Beastfly from Silksong.
January 27, 2026 at 11:31 PM
New CBS contributors announced: Pontiff Sulyvahn, Swordfoot Warhawks, Rykard Lord of Blasphemy, Ludwig the Accursed, the Godskin Duo, Laurence the First Vicar, Orphan of Kos, the Demon of Hatred, the Capra Demon, and The Loathsome Dung Eater.
Trump saw the “Bovino carried off by a hawk” skeet and knew he’d never recover.
BREAKING Greg Bovino has been removed as Border Patrol "commander at large" and will return to El Centro Calif, where he is expected to retire soon. A stunning turnaround after Pretti killing. Bovino's traveling blue city crackdown is over www.theatlantic.com/politics/202...
Gregory Bovino Gets Demoted
The Border Patrol chief was the public face of a traveling immigration crackdown on cities governed by Democrats.
www.theatlantic.com
January 26, 2026 at 11:54 PM
Trump saw the “Bovino carried off by a hawk” skeet and knew he’d never recover.
Kanye to his PR team: “yeah, publish my apology in the paper so all the Jewish people can see it. What paper? Idk the one all the bankers read I guess?!?”
Kanye West Apologizes for Antisemitic Remarks and Blames Bipolar Disorder in WSJ Ad: ‘I Lost Touch with Reality’
In a full-page ad printed in 'The Wall Street Journal,' Kanye West shared an apologetic open letter titled "To Those I've Hurt" and claimed bipolar disorder caused his erratic behavior and turn to ant...
people.com
January 26, 2026 at 9:21 PM
Kanye to his PR team: “yeah, publish my apology in the paper so all the Jewish people can see it. What paper? Idk the one all the bankers read I guess?!?”