@clamdaniel.bsky.social
village idiot. drafts and recycled tweets because I’m boring and unimaginative.
Pinned
*takes Xanax in slow motion*
Reposted
As I get older I've come to realize there is no position I can be in without some part of my body falling asleep.
February 5, 2026 at 1:25 PM
As I get older I've come to realize there is no position I can be in without some part of my body falling asleep.
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"It's not the greatest" you say but always it is because you're the only one. There's superlatives at home yelling at their tvs "I can't believe this modestest prototype"
February 4, 2026 at 5:48 AM
"It's not the greatest" you say but always it is because you're the only one. There's superlatives at home yelling at their tvs "I can't believe this modestest prototype"
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and applying the flame from the lamp, he kindled the shavings into a sacrificial blaze
February 4, 2026 at 3:47 AM
and applying the flame from the lamp, he kindled the shavings into a sacrificial blaze
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tums can be your dinner no-one can stop you
February 4, 2026 at 3:08 AM
tums can be your dinner no-one can stop you
Thank god for auto-refresh.
February 3, 2026 at 7:25 PM
Thank god for auto-refresh.
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If the pigeons just decided to go ham one day we’d be so cooked
February 1, 2026 at 6:23 PM
If the pigeons just decided to go ham one day we’d be so cooked
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one thing abt me is i can't read 1 book at a time
January 31, 2026 at 5:06 AM
one thing abt me is i can't read 1 book at a time
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Not the night not the day but a third thing in the morning, and even a fourth thing in the evening. That's what a secret rotates on its axis to keep, a set untold schedule for a dirty little optimum productivity
January 31, 2026 at 5:47 AM
Not the night not the day but a third thing in the morning, and even a fourth thing in the evening. That's what a secret rotates on its axis to keep, a set untold schedule for a dirty little optimum productivity
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why does every day this week feel like a different day than what it is?
January 29, 2026 at 1:21 PM
why does every day this week feel like a different day than what it is?
Melania, lol.
January 29, 2026 at 10:32 PM
Melania, lol.
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this is probably gonna sound really silly to people who read a lot, but I’ve already read more books this year (2) than I read all of last year (1) !!!
January 26, 2026 at 4:40 PM
this is probably gonna sound really silly to people who read a lot, but I’ve already read more books this year (2) than I read all of last year (1) !!!
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We knew the picture was a time machine but we packed for the picture itself, not a darkroom between the moment and all of it standing still. Corrosive irritant package should say bring a sweatshirt just in case
January 22, 2026 at 5:45 AM
We knew the picture was a time machine but we packed for the picture itself, not a darkroom between the moment and all of it standing still. Corrosive irritant package should say bring a sweatshirt just in case
Both-sides’ing in 2026 is profoundly, profoundly, *profoundly* fucked.
January 25, 2026 at 7:59 PM
Both-sides’ing in 2026 is profoundly, profoundly, *profoundly* fucked.
I don’t know who needs to hear this but support independent journalism.
January 24, 2026 at 9:00 PM
I don’t know who needs to hear this but support independent journalism.
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if you truly knew the muffin man you'd know he only mantains that residence on Drury Lane for nefarious purposes he doesn't actually live there
January 22, 2026 at 10:13 PM
if you truly knew the muffin man you'd know he only mantains that residence on Drury Lane for nefarious purposes he doesn't actually live there
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man’s insanity is heaven’s sense
January 22, 2026 at 5:47 PM
man’s insanity is heaven’s sense
girl are you socialism because everyone has a chance
January 21, 2026 at 6:42 PM
girl are you socialism because everyone has a chance
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I want people to love me and also to stay the fuck away
January 21, 2026 at 1:17 AM
I want people to love me and also to stay the fuck away
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[at my first rodeo]
It's good to get this one out of the way.
It's good to get this one out of the way.
January 20, 2026 at 10:09 PM
[at my first rodeo]
It's good to get this one out of the way.
It's good to get this one out of the way.
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[after getting 8 likes on a post about Dracula having sex with Bigfoot] I love Bluesky, but this isn't sustainable
January 20, 2026 at 1:01 AM
[after getting 8 likes on a post about Dracula having sex with Bigfoot] I love Bluesky, but this isn't sustainable
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that famous great tierce is mystically carved in front
January 17, 2026 at 7:47 AM
that famous great tierce is mystically carved in front
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"I thought I was alone!" And that's your excuse, for taking up all watchful space in the universe just to stop your science nemesis from seeing you put on a show for finally isolating the voyeur atom
January 17, 2026 at 5:44 AM
"I thought I was alone!" And that's your excuse, for taking up all watchful space in the universe just to stop your science nemesis from seeing you put on a show for finally isolating the voyeur atom