blonkus
@blonkus.bsky.social
won the 4th grade book reading contest by reading all of the animorphs
squirter
squirter
combination bidet / soda fountain
June 5, 2025 at 5:22 PM
combination bidet / soda fountain
who else been pissin sitting down for years now?? ✋✋✋
May 22, 2025 at 5:23 PM
who else been pissin sitting down for years now?? ✋✋✋
Reposted by blonkus
quick update: the man makig dog noises outside my apt ended up being just a dog. to all Gorgeous women who DMed me asking if im ok—thank you
February 22, 2025 at 6:14 PM
quick update: the man makig dog noises outside my apt ended up being just a dog. to all Gorgeous women who DMed me asking if im ok—thank you
Reposted by blonkus
STOP reading books and START drinking paint
February 22, 2025 at 6:24 PM
STOP reading books and START drinking paint
starting a latestt trend— sodomy tuesday
February 10, 2025 at 10:11 PM
starting a latestt trend— sodomy tuesday
butter - someone who butts
January 28, 2025 at 7:39 PM
butter - someone who butts
Reposted by blonkus
let’s hope loving God & each other is the next pandemic 🙌❤️
January 26, 2025 at 4:00 PM
let’s hope loving God & each other is the next pandemic 🙌❤️
nuts are the titties of the dick
January 26, 2025 at 3:10 PM
nuts are the titties of the dick
The best thing I’ve ever seen on the internet
January 22, 2025 at 7:15 PM
The best thing I’ve ever seen on the internet
Reposted by blonkus
Guy from Memento in a job interview: Can you explain this gap on my resume?
January 4, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Guy from Memento in a job interview: Can you explain this gap on my resume?
the heart wants what the heart wants (to fuck up woody allen)
i wish woody allen was my dad. i’d put cayenne powder in his facewash
January 4, 2025 at 7:59 PM
the heart wants what the heart wants (to fuck up woody allen)
Reposted by blonkus
When playing chess, one of the most devastating moves your opponent can play is the dreaded check mate. This pretty much fucks you
January 2, 2025 at 9:10 PM
When playing chess, one of the most devastating moves your opponent can play is the dreaded check mate. This pretty much fucks you
Reposted by blonkus
the best posters in the world are the ones who see a post that just says "yabba dabba doo!" and reply "why did i read this in the flintstones voice 😂"
December 28, 2024 at 1:23 AM
the best posters in the world are the ones who see a post that just says "yabba dabba doo!" and reply "why did i read this in the flintstones voice 😂"
Reposted by blonkus
when a police man says hes going to give you a hot meal that means hell shoot you. the hot meal is a bullet. they call it Police mans dinner
December 23, 2024 at 7:11 PM
when a police man says hes going to give you a hot meal that means hell shoot you. the hot meal is a bullet. they call it Police mans dinner
Reposted by blonkus
liberals are like "we should have a mindful conversation with the Grinch about stakeholders and equity" he's the grinch! he's stealing your christmas presents! kill him!
November 29, 2024 at 7:39 PM
liberals are like "we should have a mindful conversation with the Grinch about stakeholders and equity" he's the grinch! he's stealing your christmas presents! kill him!
Reposted by blonkus
you’re laughing. my phone fell in the shower when i got a message and i almost hit video call while standing right over the camera and exposing my hairy gut dick nut balls and taint when i was picking it up and you’re laughing
December 17, 2024 at 6:06 PM
you’re laughing. my phone fell in the shower when i got a message and i almost hit video call while standing right over the camera and exposing my hairy gut dick nut balls and taint when i was picking it up and you’re laughing
Reposted by blonkus
what if john mayer ran for mayor and he won? then what? we’d have to call him mayor mayer? fuck that i’d rather die
December 15, 2024 at 4:10 PM
what if john mayer ran for mayor and he won? then what? we’d have to call him mayor mayer? fuck that i’d rather die
finding corn in your poo is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is strange if you haven’t eaten corn lately 🤔
December 12, 2024 at 6:33 PM
finding corn in your poo is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is strange if you haven’t eaten corn lately 🤔
Reposted by blonkus
Movies used to be about men solving problems with their fists. Nowadays men get fisted on camera. I think I torrented the wrong file
December 12, 2024 at 4:46 PM
Movies used to be about men solving problems with their fists. Nowadays men get fisted on camera. I think I torrented the wrong file
Reposted by blonkus
anal eyes analyze anal lies
December 11, 2024 at 1:55 AM
anal eyes analyze anal lies
Sir, this is a W—
Damn
Damn
December 7, 2024 at 3:44 PM
Sir, this is a W—
Damn
Damn
I bet “I’ve gotta meet with my parole officer” is a great excuse to get out of anything
December 6, 2024 at 5:19 PM
I bet “I’ve gotta meet with my parole officer” is a great excuse to get out of anything
Don’t put “no sugar added” on the label. You should be ashamed
December 4, 2024 at 12:41 AM
Don’t put “no sugar added” on the label. You should be ashamed
Me, at a black tie work function, trying to contribute to the conversation: There was an episode of fresh prince that covered this very topic.
December 4, 2024 at 12:39 AM
Me, at a black tie work function, trying to contribute to the conversation: There was an episode of fresh prince that covered this very topic.