Merkin the Magician
@bizinatch.bsky.social
Living my unapologetically gay atheist life as if Huey Lewis wrote the soundtrack
Pinned
I wonder what I will be like when I’m old if I’m this cantankerous now
as if these guardspeople don’t have the opportunity to quit under this administration and re-enlist when they start being a law-abiding agency again in a later admin?
November 28, 2025 at 4:19 AM
as if these guardspeople don’t have the opportunity to quit under this administration and re-enlist when they start being a law-abiding agency again in a later admin?
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
we did a seance, summoned charlie kirk to thanksgiving dinner and made him do cannibalism with potatoes
November 28, 2025 at 2:18 AM
we did a seance, summoned charlie kirk to thanksgiving dinner and made him do cannibalism with potatoes
none of these are the first concert I have ever seen so don’t try to steal my identity bitches
November 28, 2025 at 4:10 AM
none of these are the first concert I have ever seen so don’t try to steal my identity bitches
Still more:
Justin Timberlake
Justin Bieber
Kanye (right when he stopped taking his meds in 2016 - worst concert I’ve ever seen in my life)
Counting Crows (twice - awful both times)
NKOTB (best concert ever)
Justin Timberlake
Justin Bieber
Kanye (right when he stopped taking his meds in 2016 - worst concert I’ve ever seen in my life)
Counting Crows (twice - awful both times)
NKOTB (best concert ever)
If I may go on:
Ani DiFranco
Tori Amos
Indigo Girls
Rufus Wainwright
Childish Gambino
Ani DiFranco
Tori Amos
Indigo Girls
Rufus Wainwright
Childish Gambino
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
Violent Femmes
Madonna
Scissor Sisters
B52s
Spice Girls
Violent Femmes
Madonna
Scissor Sisters
B52s
Spice Girls
November 28, 2025 at 3:59 AM
Still more:
Justin Timberlake
Justin Bieber
Kanye (right when he stopped taking his meds in 2016 - worst concert I’ve ever seen in my life)
Counting Crows (twice - awful both times)
NKOTB (best concert ever)
Justin Timberlake
Justin Bieber
Kanye (right when he stopped taking his meds in 2016 - worst concert I’ve ever seen in my life)
Counting Crows (twice - awful both times)
NKOTB (best concert ever)
If I may go on:
Ani DiFranco
Tori Amos
Indigo Girls
Rufus Wainwright
Childish Gambino
Ani DiFranco
Tori Amos
Indigo Girls
Rufus Wainwright
Childish Gambino
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
Violent Femmes
Madonna
Scissor Sisters
B52s
Spice Girls
Violent Femmes
Madonna
Scissor Sisters
B52s
Spice Girls
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
Boston
Kansas
Pink Floyd
Elton John
Doobie Brothers
Boston
Kansas
Pink Floyd
Elton John
Doobie Brothers
November 28, 2025 at 3:55 AM
If I may go on:
Ani DiFranco
Tori Amos
Indigo Girls
Rufus Wainwright
Childish Gambino
Ani DiFranco
Tori Amos
Indigo Girls
Rufus Wainwright
Childish Gambino
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
Violent Femmes
Madonna
Scissor Sisters
B52s
Spice Girls
Violent Femmes
Madonna
Scissor Sisters
B52s
Spice Girls
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
Boston
Kansas
Pink Floyd
Elton John
Doobie Brothers
Boston
Kansas
Pink Floyd
Elton John
Doobie Brothers
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
Eminem
Rodriguez
Brian Wilson
Spiritualized
Arthur Lee & Love
Eminem
Rodriguez
Brian Wilson
Spiritualized
Arthur Lee & Love
November 28, 2025 at 3:44 AM
Introduce yourself with 5 concerts you've seen:
Violent Femmes
Madonna
Scissor Sisters
B52s
Spice Girls
Violent Femmes
Madonna
Scissor Sisters
B52s
Spice Girls
You seem like the type who wears Hey Dudes
November 28, 2025 at 3:40 AM
You seem like the type who wears Hey Dudes
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
I made cupcakes for the Bluesky bake sale
November 27, 2025 at 11:37 PM
I made cupcakes for the Bluesky bake sale
mon petit chou
November 27, 2025 at 7:22 PM
mon petit chou
When I’m cleaning brussels sprouts, I always think of freaky little cabbage brains and that makes me think of you
November 27, 2025 at 7:22 PM
When I’m cleaning brussels sprouts, I always think of freaky little cabbage brains and that makes me think of you
It’s not always true, but when it’s true, it’s true
November 27, 2025 at 7:17 PM
It’s not always true, but when it’s true, it’s true
With the price of lemons, nothing is getting zest this year
November 27, 2025 at 6:59 PM
With the price of lemons, nothing is getting zest this year
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
If you have the audacity you need to give it back
November 26, 2025 at 6:58 PM
If you have the audacity you need to give it back
I wonder what I will be like when I’m old if I’m this cantankerous now
November 27, 2025 at 6:15 PM
I wonder what I will be like when I’m old if I’m this cantankerous now
It wouldn’t be thanksgiving without me being able to scream “bitch, you have the fucking stop! Happy thanksgiving!” to the lady that wanted to talk shit about me behind the closed window in her car who didn’t think I would let her know about herself
November 27, 2025 at 5:49 PM
It wouldn’t be thanksgiving without me being able to scream “bitch, you have the fucking stop! Happy thanksgiving!” to the lady that wanted to talk shit about me behind the closed window in her car who didn’t think I would let her know about herself
Heading to Giant to buy a lottery ticket because they always sell winners
November 27, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Heading to Giant to buy a lottery ticket because they always sell winners
Are we allowed to start listening to Justin Bieber’s Christmas album today or do we have to wait until tomorrow?
November 27, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Are we allowed to start listening to Justin Bieber’s Christmas album today or do we have to wait until tomorrow?
xanax hangover + all-day marijuana usage = holiday cure-all
November 27, 2025 at 5:00 PM
xanax hangover + all-day marijuana usage = holiday cure-all
Thanksgiving Survival - read a book because it’s infinitely more fun that socializing with family
November 27, 2025 at 2:08 PM
Thanksgiving Survival - read a book because it’s infinitely more fun that socializing with family
Karoline should go as tribute
November 26, 2025 at 6:27 PM
Karoline should go as tribute
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
“she usually blows and I clean up” lands differently when talking about fall leaf management versus a cuck video
November 8, 2025 at 10:07 PM
“she usually blows and I clean up” lands differently when talking about fall leaf management versus a cuck video
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
I used to tune out my wife when she was rambling, which was rude and disrespectful…now I say “I’ll listen to more of this later”
October 29, 2025 at 3:55 AM
I used to tune out my wife when she was rambling, which was rude and disrespectful…now I say “I’ll listen to more of this later”
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
The musical Wicked, but everyone talks like they’re from Boston.
Glinda: what a wicked smahrt broomstick Elphabar
Elphaba: I’m defyin’ muthahfahkin gravity
Glinda: what a wicked smahrt broomstick Elphabar
Elphaba: I’m defyin’ muthahfahkin gravity
November 25, 2025 at 2:57 AM
The musical Wicked, but everyone talks like they’re from Boston.
Glinda: what a wicked smahrt broomstick Elphabar
Elphaba: I’m defyin’ muthahfahkin gravity
Glinda: what a wicked smahrt broomstick Elphabar
Elphaba: I’m defyin’ muthahfahkin gravity
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
Hours should be shorter when you're at work and longer when you're at home
November 25, 2025 at 3:40 AM
Hours should be shorter when you're at work and longer when you're at home
Reposted by Merkin the Magician
Remember when the leaking of a poem to a cabinet member’s affair partner about felching would be enough for them to resign in disgrace? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
November 25, 2025 at 4:51 AM
Remember when the leaking of a poem to a cabinet member’s affair partner about felching would be enough for them to resign in disgrace? Pepperidge Farm remembers.