average housewife
@averagehousewife.bsky.social
average housewife. jokes? imposter syndrome.
Reposted by average housewife
If anyone is going to be near Orlando this weekend, my friends are having their 11th annual free beer fest. It’s free, and the people are pretty fun.
Tom & Dan’s 11th Annual Bad at Business Beerfest Returns to Sanford - Orlando Magazine
Photo courtesy Tom & Dan If you’ve ever wondered what happens when you mix two local legends, dozens of Florida breweries, live music, and absolutely no cover charge, the answer is simple: chaos in th...
www.orlandomagazine.com
November 20, 2025 at 1:44 AM
If anyone is going to be near Orlando this weekend, my friends are having their 11th annual free beer fest. It’s free, and the people are pretty fun.
If anyone is going to be near Orlando this weekend, my friends are having their 11th annual free beer fest. It’s free, and the people are pretty fun.
Tom & Dan’s 11th Annual Bad at Business Beerfest Returns to Sanford - Orlando Magazine
Photo courtesy Tom & Dan If you’ve ever wondered what happens when you mix two local legends, dozens of Florida breweries, live music, and absolutely no cover charge, the answer is simple: chaos in th...
www.orlandomagazine.com
November 20, 2025 at 1:44 AM
If anyone is going to be near Orlando this weekend, my friends are having their 11th annual free beer fest. It’s free, and the people are pretty fun.
Reposted by average housewife
I know I seem like so autonomous but I'm actually partnered with refraction of light so let me run it by the old prism first. Hey bendy straw sucking the crazy light outta me, more like dispersing my will amirite
November 3, 2025 at 5:44 AM
I know I seem like so autonomous but I'm actually partnered with refraction of light so let me run it by the old prism first. Hey bendy straw sucking the crazy light outta me, more like dispersing my will amirite
Reposted by average housewife
mugger: *points gun* your money or your life
me: sure thing *hands him my id* you got 2 kids and didn’t actually understand the matrix
mugger: no i mean-
me: *already running away* you’re late for steph’s recital
me: sure thing *hands him my id* you got 2 kids and didn’t actually understand the matrix
mugger: no i mean-
me: *already running away* you’re late for steph’s recital
November 4, 2024 at 6:39 PM
mugger: *points gun* your money or your life
me: sure thing *hands him my id* you got 2 kids and didn’t actually understand the matrix
mugger: no i mean-
me: *already running away* you’re late for steph’s recital
me: sure thing *hands him my id* you got 2 kids and didn’t actually understand the matrix
mugger: no i mean-
me: *already running away* you’re late for steph’s recital
Reposted by average housewife
why stop with time? we should also turn our scales back 10lbs
November 2, 2025 at 1:02 AM
why stop with time? we should also turn our scales back 10lbs
Sad my kid’s cute little goth friend didn’t notice I reorganized the refrigerator.
October 31, 2025 at 10:55 PM
Sad my kid’s cute little goth friend didn’t notice I reorganized the refrigerator.
The air fryer doesn’t turn off when opening the door anymore so I have to unplug it or be real fast.
October 25, 2025 at 9:02 PM
The air fryer doesn’t turn off when opening the door anymore so I have to unplug it or be real fast.
If you use medical marijuana and lose all feeling in your mouth, be sure to ask yourself if you recently used maximum strength sensitive gum toothpaste.
October 25, 2025 at 4:27 AM
If you use medical marijuana and lose all feeling in your mouth, be sure to ask yourself if you recently used maximum strength sensitive gum toothpaste.
If anyone has a dairy problem, Reese’s Pieces just reformulated and the new ones don’t have any milk. 🙌 Check your packages though.
October 23, 2025 at 5:47 PM
If anyone has a dairy problem, Reese’s Pieces just reformulated and the new ones don’t have any milk. 🙌 Check your packages though.
Updating my cv and since nothing matters anymore thinking about including Expert in Beat Saber.
October 23, 2025 at 2:13 PM
Updating my cv and since nothing matters anymore thinking about including Expert in Beat Saber.
what is the formal job title of personality hire
October 22, 2025 at 1:03 AM
what is the formal job title of personality hire
Reposted by average housewife
back when the economy was better phones had clicky home buttons
October 22, 2025 at 12:49 AM
back when the economy was better phones had clicky home buttons
hope these light photons find you well
October 21, 2025 at 8:45 PM
hope these light photons find you well
Reposted by average housewife
I, for one, welcome our new inflatable frog overlords.
October 16, 2025 at 5:50 PM
I, for one, welcome our new inflatable frog overlords.
Reposted by average housewife
Reposted by average housewife
I'm like 36% sure it's Saturday
October 11, 2025 at 8:11 PM
I'm like 36% sure it's Saturday
Reposted by average housewife
ME: if frankenstein is the name of the doctor not the monster then how is the bride of frankenstein the bride of the monster not the doctor
CHATGTP: *implodes*
CHATGTP: *implodes*
October 11, 2025 at 5:34 PM
ME: if frankenstein is the name of the doctor not the monster then how is the bride of frankenstein the bride of the monster not the doctor
CHATGTP: *implodes*
CHATGTP: *implodes*
Reposted by average housewife
I love when they put blankets on baby elephants when it's cold out it is my favorite shit
October 11, 2025 at 7:10 PM
I love when they put blankets on baby elephants when it's cold out it is my favorite shit
Excited to have my birthday on the same day that giant comet alien ship deploys itself behind the sun and destroys us all.
October 11, 2025 at 7:32 PM
Excited to have my birthday on the same day that giant comet alien ship deploys itself behind the sun and destroys us all.
@marioncofldems.bsky.social how much is it to do something like this on billboards near the mall? That vitamin shoppe corner always has a ton of traffic.
October 11, 2025 at 7:29 PM
@marioncofldems.bsky.social how much is it to do something like this on billboards near the mall? That vitamin shoppe corner always has a ton of traffic.
Be mysterious. Be mysterious.
Says a million incredibly stupid things.
Says a million incredibly stupid things.
October 3, 2025 at 11:01 PM
Be mysterious. Be mysterious.
Says a million incredibly stupid things.
Says a million incredibly stupid things.
Reposted by average housewife
Is it pie season yet because I really need some pie
September 10, 2025 at 2:27 AM
Is it pie season yet because I really need some pie
That guy who threatened to release Mike Johnson’s Grindr information but instead just raised a ton of money should be shunned off the internet.
October 2, 2025 at 11:45 AM
That guy who threatened to release Mike Johnson’s Grindr information but instead just raised a ton of money should be shunned off the internet.
Remember that week a couple months ago where we were all so happy and excited and thought he was dead.
October 1, 2025 at 1:20 PM
Remember that week a couple months ago where we were all so happy and excited and thought he was dead.
Reposted by average housewife
Think I may be the best at imposter syndrome, but not sure how I would know
September 28, 2025 at 7:29 PM
Think I may be the best at imposter syndrome, but not sure how I would know