Pinned
Autotuned
@autotuned.bsky.social
· Nov 23
Just got your text.
Are we still on for last night?
Are we still on for last night?
Fuck it. I’m gonna start pronouncing the p in psycho
January 18, 2026 at 9:32 PM
Fuck it. I’m gonna start pronouncing the p in psycho
Reposted by Autotuned
I excel at saying two words at the same time.
January 17, 2026 at 11:09 PM
I excel at saying two words at the same time.
Reposted by Autotuned
One of my favorite ways to waste time is to do nothing about everything.
January 18, 2026 at 3:40 PM
One of my favorite ways to waste time is to do nothing about everything.
Reposted by Autotuned
LEADER: welcome to amnesia club do you have any stories you’d like to share
ME: none that I can recall
GROUP: *applauds quietly*
ME: none that I can recall
GROUP: *applauds quietly*
January 17, 2026 at 5:06 PM
LEADER: welcome to amnesia club do you have any stories you’d like to share
ME: none that I can recall
GROUP: *applauds quietly*
ME: none that I can recall
GROUP: *applauds quietly*
Reposted by Autotuned
Of course, personal growth is where it’s at. But it’s just so inconvenient, you know?
Cashier: so, you didn’t bring your own bags…
Cashier: so, you didn’t bring your own bags…
December 18, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Of course, personal growth is where it’s at. But it’s just so inconvenient, you know?
Cashier: so, you didn’t bring your own bags…
Cashier: so, you didn’t bring your own bags…
Reposted by Autotuned
Whenever I feel homesick I go into a dive bar.
January 2, 2026 at 6:20 PM
Whenever I feel homesick I go into a dive bar.
Reposted by Autotuned
Get in, loser
- me, during sex
- me, during sex
December 20, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Get in, loser
- me, during sex
- me, during sex
New year, new m… wait.. Nope. Never mind
January 1, 2026 at 3:04 PM
New year, new m… wait.. Nope. Never mind
Reposted by Autotuned
I meant well. I think it was on a Thursday in 1978.
December 20, 2025 at 6:39 PM
I meant well. I think it was on a Thursday in 1978.
$10 bucks says I can’t pronounce Açaí correctly
December 29, 2025 at 1:23 AM
$10 bucks says I can’t pronounce Açaí correctly
Reposted by Autotuned
I left you on read.
Please respond.
Please respond.
December 29, 2025 at 12:07 AM
I left you on read.
Please respond.
Please respond.
Reposted by Autotuned
Inside me are a dozen Christmas cookies.
December 28, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Inside me are a dozen Christmas cookies.
Walmart Radio was absolutely fucking bangin today!
December 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
Walmart Radio was absolutely fucking bangin today!
I hope everyone got a podcaster equipment starter kit cause lord knows there’s just not enough podcasters in the world
December 26, 2025 at 10:34 PM
I hope everyone got a podcaster equipment starter kit cause lord knows there’s just not enough podcasters in the world
Reposted by Autotuned
I don’t really want to do a new year. I’m all yeared out
December 26, 2025 at 7:50 AM
I don’t really want to do a new year. I’m all yeared out
What am I bringing to the party?
A desire to leave.
A desire to leave.
December 23, 2025 at 11:11 AM
What am I bringing to the party?
A desire to leave.
A desire to leave.
Reposted by Autotuned
Joined the Flat Earth Society for the 50% discount on round-the-world air tickets.
December 17, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Joined the Flat Earth Society for the 50% discount on round-the-world air tickets.
Reposted by Autotuned
Cover me in potato chips and tell me I’m salty.
December 14, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Cover me in potato chips and tell me I’m salty.
Reposted by Autotuned
I’m wearing my beer goggles to this eye exam. Idgaf
March 9, 2025 at 2:34 PM
I’m wearing my beer goggles to this eye exam. Idgaf
Reposted by Autotuned
Seems the lines in this parking lot are only a suggestion
May 3, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Seems the lines in this parking lot are only a suggestion
Reposted by Autotuned
Never clapped when I was happy a day in my life
December 13, 2025 at 4:35 AM
Never clapped when I was happy a day in my life
A cigarette after sex is just the receipt for well made bad decisions
December 13, 2025 at 1:18 AM
A cigarette after sex is just the receipt for well made bad decisions
I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life
December 11, 2025 at 9:38 PM
I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life