Autotuned
banner
autotuned.bsky.social
Autotuned
@autotuned.bsky.social
Yep


Pinned
Just got your text.
Are we still on for last night?
Well, shit!
January 20, 2026 at 12:10 AM
Fuck it. I’m gonna start pronouncing the p in psycho
January 18, 2026 at 9:32 PM
Reposted by Autotuned
I excel at saying two words at the same time.
January 17, 2026 at 11:09 PM
Reposted by Autotuned
One of my favorite ways to waste time is to do nothing about everything.
January 18, 2026 at 3:40 PM
Reposted by Autotuned
LEADER: welcome to amnesia club do you have any stories you’d like to share

ME: none that I can recall

GROUP: *applauds quietly*
January 17, 2026 at 5:06 PM
Reposted by Autotuned
Of course, personal growth is where it’s at. But it’s just so inconvenient, you know?

Cashier: so, you didn’t bring your own bags…
December 18, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Reposted by Autotuned
Whenever I feel homesick I go into a dive bar.
January 2, 2026 at 6:20 PM
Reposted by Autotuned
Get in, loser

- me, during sex
December 20, 2025 at 2:54 AM
New year, new m… wait.. Nope. Never mind
January 1, 2026 at 3:04 PM
Reposted by Autotuned
I meant well. I think it was on a Thursday in 1978.
December 20, 2025 at 6:39 PM
$10 bucks says I can’t pronounce Açaí correctly
December 29, 2025 at 1:23 AM
Reposted by Autotuned
I left you on read.

Please respond.
December 29, 2025 at 12:07 AM
Reposted by Autotuned
Inside me are a dozen Christmas cookies.
December 28, 2025 at 11:03 PM
Walmart Radio was absolutely fucking bangin today!
December 28, 2025 at 4:44 PM
I hope everyone got a podcaster equipment starter kit cause lord knows there’s just not enough podcasters in the world
December 26, 2025 at 10:34 PM
Reposted by Autotuned
I don’t really want to do a new year. I’m all yeared out
December 26, 2025 at 7:50 AM
What am I bringing to the party?
A desire to leave.
December 23, 2025 at 11:11 AM
Reposted by Autotuned
Joined the Flat Earth Society for the 50% discount on round-the-world air tickets.
December 17, 2025 at 7:44 PM
69 > 67
December 15, 2025 at 1:21 AM
Reposted by Autotuned
Cover me in potato chips and tell me I’m salty.
December 14, 2025 at 4:52 PM
Reposted by Autotuned
I’m wearing my beer goggles to this eye exam. Idgaf
March 9, 2025 at 2:34 PM
Reposted by Autotuned
Seems the lines in this parking lot are only a suggestion
May 3, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Reposted by Autotuned
Never clapped when I was happy a day in my life
December 13, 2025 at 4:35 AM
A cigarette after sex is just the receipt for well made bad decisions
December 13, 2025 at 1:18 AM
I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life
December 11, 2025 at 9:38 PM