Apocrypals
@apocrypals.bsky.social
The podcast where Chris Sims and Benito Cereno read Bible and Bible-adjacent literature and try not to be ding-dangs about it
https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/
https://apocrypals.dashery.com/
https://apocrypals.libsyn.com/
https://apocrypals.dashery.com/
I haven’t watched it yet, but it feels inevitable
Having listened to the @pontifactspod.bsky.social Patreon episode about The Carpenter's son, I now desperately also want to know what @apocrypals.bsky.social thinks of it.
January 3, 2026 at 3:27 AM
I haven’t watched it yet, but it feels inevitable
Reposted by Apocrypals
Responding to Mike Winger's sectarianism
YouTube video by Dan McClellan
youtu.be
December 29, 2025 at 6:16 PM
December 24, 2025 at 8:31 PM
Happy holidays everyone! I hope you are enjoying your Christmas week — but maybe we can help add to the festivities with some classic Christmas episodes
The Infancy Gospel of James, the quintessential expansion of the Christmas story apocrypals.libsyn.com/29-these-apo...
The Infancy Gospel of James, the quintessential expansion of the Christmas story apocrypals.libsyn.com/29-these-apo...
Apocrypals: 29: These Apocryphal Ravings (The Infancy Gospel of James)
Mary Christmas, Theophiloi! Normally at this time of year, you get a nice little reading from Luke about being sore afraid and wishing peace on Earth and goodwill to men. Unfortunately, we already cov...
apocrypals.libsyn.com
December 24, 2025 at 6:34 PM
Happy holidays everyone! I hope you are enjoying your Christmas week — but maybe we can help add to the festivities with some classic Christmas episodes
The Infancy Gospel of James, the quintessential expansion of the Christmas story apocrypals.libsyn.com/29-these-apo...
The Infancy Gospel of James, the quintessential expansion of the Christmas story apocrypals.libsyn.com/29-these-apo...
Reposted by Apocrypals
$2.99 eBook of The Bible Says So! #maklelan3051
YouTube video by Dan McClellan
youtube.com
December 23, 2025 at 3:50 PM
Reposted by Apocrypals
Josie on a scale of 1-10 how much do you want me to correct your joke 😇
Yo yo yo, what up, it's ya boy Paul with another epistle! This week, we're talking about why Jesus didn't mean anything he said about the equality of women. Be sure to like and circumcise— I mean SUBSCRIBE, subSCRIBE, goddammit goddammit I'm such an idiot. Hoookay, take fifteen
December 17, 2025 at 12:34 PM
Josie on a scale of 1-10 how much do you want me to correct your joke 😇
Reposted by Apocrypals
The White House has (1) endorsed Arianism and (2) confused the Feast of the Immaculate Conception with the Feast of the Annunciation. Not sure which is worse.
ok it’s legitimately funny that they can’t even throw red meat to Catholics without falling into heresy
December 9, 2025 at 2:15 AM
The White House has (1) endorsed Arianism and (2) confused the Feast of the Immaculate Conception with the Feast of the Annunciation. Not sure which is worse.
Reposted by Apocrypals
@apocrypals.bsky.social Good news, we finally found out who the clown is.
The White House has (1) endorsed Arianism and (2) confused the Feast of the Immaculate Conception with the Feast of the Annunciation. Not sure which is worse.
ok it’s legitimately funny that they can’t even throw red meat to Catholics without falling into heresy
December 9, 2025 at 5:43 AM
@apocrypals.bsky.social Good news, we finally found out who the clown is.
Reposted by Apocrypals
He said "Amen" straight into the drop
Lmao Pope Leo threw a rave for an archbishop's 75th birthday this is kind of incredible
Lmao Pope Leo threw a rave for an archbishop's 75th birthday this is kind of incredible
November 22, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Reposted by Apocrypals
14yo: if St Patrick was alive today, he’d probably try to explain the Trinity through men’s products that are like shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. It’s three in one and the only thing you need in the shower! Just like Jesus!
November 22, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Reposted by Apocrypals
*sits backward in chair* what if I told you there was a man who entered the world to get rid of Wickedness... For Good, open up your Bibles
November 21, 2025 at 7:33 PM
Reposted by Apocrypals
so, obviously, the solution is, what if I pray the rosary on BULLETS? checkmate, libs /thread
November 21, 2025 at 7:07 PM
Reposted by Apocrypals
@apocrypals.bsky.social possible text for your next episode bsky.app/profile/lucy...
November 17, 2025 at 5:25 PM
@apocrypals.bsky.social possible text for your next episode bsky.app/profile/lucy...
Reposted by Apocrypals
The Carpenter's Son, Nicolas Cage's take on the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, debuts tomorrow in the US. Not sure when it will make it to Canada. The Associated Press interviewed me for background in this preview article: www.thecanadianpressnews.ca/entertainmen...
Nicolas Cage's 'The Carpenter's Son' turns an apocryphal text about Jesus' youth into a horror film
LOS ANGELES (AP) — In the second century, as the canonical Gospels were being copied and circulated throughout the Roman Empire, another text about the life of Jesus was simultaneously
www.thecanadianpressnews.ca
November 13, 2025 at 8:37 PM
The Carpenter's Son, Nicolas Cage's take on the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, debuts tomorrow in the US. Not sure when it will make it to Canada. The Associated Press interviewed me for background in this preview article: www.thecanadianpressnews.ca/entertainmen...
It did snow here — white horse achieved
I told a church full of high schoolers today that as of today, it's perfectly fine if they listen to Christmas music. St. Martin has rode in on his white horse! (Well, it didn't quite snow, but it got pretty cold in Mobile, and I'll take it.)
@apocrypals.bsky.social y'all know what's up
@apocrypals.bsky.social y'all know what's up
November 11, 2025 at 11:24 PM
It did snow here — white horse achieved
You should do this too
Getting ready for tomorrow's feast day by listening to the Apocrypals episode on St. Martin of Tours:
@apocrypals.bsky.social @benitocereno.bsky.social @theisb.bsky.social
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a...
@apocrypals.bsky.social @benitocereno.bsky.social @theisb.bsky.social
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a...
76: Filling the Room (The Life of St. Martin)
Podcast Episode · Apocrypals · 11/01/2020 · 1h 48m
podcasts.apple.com
November 10, 2025 at 3:05 PM
You should do this too
Reposted by Apocrypals
MacJesus sez...
November 7, 2025 at 7:50 PM
MacJesus sez...
Reposted by Apocrypals
“wine mom” is just an overly familiar term for Mary, mother of Jesus
November 5, 2025 at 6:07 PM
You should imo do this
Shalom friends!
I am super excited to present the keynote for Torahpalooza!
The 2025 Lichter Lectures Series event hosted by the University of Cincinnati department of Judaic Studies!
Come, join, learn with us!!
Sat, Nov. 15th, at 6pm.
Link in bio!
youtube.com/shorts/ggVgl...
I am super excited to present the keynote for Torahpalooza!
The 2025 Lichter Lectures Series event hosted by the University of Cincinnati department of Judaic Studies!
Come, join, learn with us!!
Sat, Nov. 15th, at 6pm.
Link in bio!
youtube.com/shorts/ggVgl...
TORAHPALOOZA!!!!
YouTube video by Miriam Anzovin
youtube.com
November 3, 2025 at 6:47 PM
You should imo do this
This is a mandatory watch if you’ve ever wondered how people who profess to believe the Bible can act so differently from what the Bible seems to prescribe
As Dan explains, they don’t *believe* the Bible. They believe their identity politics and use the Bible to justify them
As Dan explains, they don’t *believe* the Bible. They believe their identity politics and use the Bible to justify them
November 1, 2025 at 9:44 PM
This is a mandatory watch if you’ve ever wondered how people who profess to believe the Bible can act so differently from what the Bible seems to prescribe
As Dan explains, they don’t *believe* the Bible. They believe their identity politics and use the Bible to justify them
As Dan explains, they don’t *believe* the Bible. They believe their identity politics and use the Bible to justify them
Halloween means Haints and Saints, so here's some of our classic episodes on these topics, a thread:
The Testament of Solomon, in which the wise king subcontracts the construction of the temple to various demons, including a Butt Sex Dragon
apocrypals.libsyn.com/25-butt-stuf...
The Testament of Solomon, in which the wise king subcontracts the construction of the temple to various demons, including a Butt Sex Dragon
apocrypals.libsyn.com/25-butt-stuf...
Apocrypals: 24: Butt Stuff Dragon (The Testament of Solomon)
Get ready for HAINTS AND SAINTS, Theophiloi! It's Halloween and things are getting wild spooky up in here as we diver into the testament of Solomon, a very wise man who likes two things: glorifying Go...
apocrypals.libsyn.com
October 30, 2025 at 4:51 PM
Halloween means Haints and Saints, so here's some of our classic episodes on these topics, a thread:
The Testament of Solomon, in which the wise king subcontracts the construction of the temple to various demons, including a Butt Sex Dragon
apocrypals.libsyn.com/25-butt-stuf...
The Testament of Solomon, in which the wise king subcontracts the construction of the temple to various demons, including a Butt Sex Dragon
apocrypals.libsyn.com/25-butt-stuf...
Reposted by Apocrypals
It's time again for another round of
👹 SPOOKY TALMUD 👻
😈 (and other Jewish texts) 😈
featuring Jewish vampires, 🧛♀️ ghosts, 👻 demon infestations, 👹 God's magic sword, ⚡and so much more!! 🧟
👹 SPOOKY TALMUD 👻
😈 (and other Jewish texts) 😈
featuring Jewish vampires, 🧛♀️ ghosts, 👻 demon infestations, 👹 God's magic sword, ⚡and so much more!! 🧟
Jewish vampires, ghosts, demon infestations and God's magic sword
Because it's Spooky Talmud Season, is why
www.lifeisasacredtext.com
October 30, 2025 at 3:52 PM
It's time again for another round of
👹 SPOOKY TALMUD 👻
😈 (and other Jewish texts) 😈
featuring Jewish vampires, 🧛♀️ ghosts, 👻 demon infestations, 👹 God's magic sword, ⚡and so much more!! 🧟
👹 SPOOKY TALMUD 👻
😈 (and other Jewish texts) 😈
featuring Jewish vampires, 🧛♀️ ghosts, 👻 demon infestations, 👹 God's magic sword, ⚡and so much more!! 🧟
Reposted by Apocrypals
There are no demons in the Old Testament #maklelan2975
YouTube video by Dan McClellan
youtube.com
October 29, 2025 at 1:55 PM
Can you imagine how rare an opportunity it is to be able to troll the pope with impunity
Mar Awa III, patriarch of the Assyrian Church of the East, also born in Chicago, gave Pope Leo a Cubs jersey.
October 28, 2025 at 4:43 AM
Can you imagine how rare an opportunity it is to be able to troll the pope with impunity