everybody’s dad
@albertis.bsky.social
Creative Director of the Doonesbury Cinematic Universe
📍Brooklyn
📍Brooklyn
I’ve been waiting to see the Dolphins win a playoff game for two years and two months longer than ICE has existed
January 24, 2026 at 9:34 PM
I’ve been waiting to see the Dolphins win a playoff game for two years and two months longer than ICE has existed
Five concerts you've seen with women lead singers
My five most recent:
Weakened Friends
Momma
Pool Kids
Rilo Kiley
The Dreaded Laramie
My five most recent:
Weakened Friends
Momma
Pool Kids
Rilo Kiley
The Dreaded Laramie
Five concerts you've seen with women lead singers
Save Ferris
Hey Monday
Chvrches
The Naked and Famous
Tonight Alive
Save Ferris
Hey Monday
Chvrches
The Naked and Famous
Tonight Alive
Heartless Bastards
Indigo Girls
Wednesday
Neko Case
The Joy Formidable
Indigo Girls
Wednesday
Neko Case
The Joy Formidable
January 22, 2026 at 2:52 AM
Five concerts you've seen with women lead singers
My five most recent:
Weakened Friends
Momma
Pool Kids
Rilo Kiley
The Dreaded Laramie
My five most recent:
Weakened Friends
Momma
Pool Kids
Rilo Kiley
The Dreaded Laramie
You simply cannot fool me. I know Stella Artois and I know it tastes awful
January 13, 2026 at 6:17 AM
You simply cannot fool me. I know Stella Artois and I know it tastes awful
Why am I now getting Instagram ads from multiple companies for sheer boxer briefs? What do they think I’m getting into now?
January 9, 2026 at 2:08 AM
Why am I now getting Instagram ads from multiple companies for sheer boxer briefs? What do they think I’m getting into now?
Imagine being a Toledo senior who doesn’t make the NFL. Your last memory of your football career is failing to win a giant bowl of beans to share with your teammates. Years of workouts, practices, injuries… all to be denied the beans
As winners of the Boca Raton Bowl, Louisville celebrated by eating baked beans out of the trophy 🫘🏆
Only in college football...
Only in college football...
December 23, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Imagine being a Toledo senior who doesn’t make the NFL. Your last memory of your football career is failing to win a giant bowl of beans to share with your teammates. Years of workouts, practices, injuries… all to be denied the beans
Do they literally just have a tiny video of the stadium clock for the time on the score bug for the Villanova-Tarleton game?
December 13, 2025 at 7:37 PM
Do they literally just have a tiny video of the stadium clock for the time on the score bug for the Villanova-Tarleton game?
Texas high schoolers: it’s time to bully like you’ve never bullied before. No nerd un-swirlied, no locker unstuffed. Godspeed, kids who smoke at lunch; you carry a nation’s future
New: Gov. Greg Abbott and Turning Point USA are launching a partnership to create chapters of the right-wing organization on every Texas high school campus.
Abbott says Turning Point USA will expand in Texas schools
Republican officials in Oklahoma and Florida have also launched plans to expand the presence of the conservative youth organization founded by Charlie Kirk.
www.texastribune.org
December 8, 2025 at 11:20 PM
Texas high schoolers: it’s time to bully like you’ve never bullied before. No nerd un-swirlied, no locker unstuffed. Godspeed, kids who smoke at lunch; you carry a nation’s future
Getting sprayed by a skunk and getting revenge by sharting on it
November 28, 2025 at 2:07 AM
Getting sprayed by a skunk and getting revenge by sharting on it
A maicito mixto, which is sweet corn covered in melted cheese, crushed potato chips, chicken, beef and bacon, & cilantro mayo, pink sauce & pineapple sauce. Best eaten at 4 am while very drunk.
This one is from Los Perros in Fontainebleau in Miami, which opened till 6 am most nights.
This one is from Los Perros in Fontainebleau in Miami, which opened till 6 am most nights.
November 19, 2025 at 1:01 AM
A maicito mixto, which is sweet corn covered in melted cheese, crushed potato chips, chicken, beef and bacon, & cilantro mayo, pink sauce & pineapple sauce. Best eaten at 4 am while very drunk.
This one is from Los Perros in Fontainebleau in Miami, which opened till 6 am most nights.
This one is from Los Perros in Fontainebleau in Miami, which opened till 6 am most nights.
Every speed limit should be dropped by 20mph and if that would get it to zero or less, cars shouldn’t be there
"my least woke opinion is---"
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.
Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
November 14, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Every speed limit should be dropped by 20mph and if that would get it to zero or less, cars shouldn’t be there
Reposted by everybody’s dad
Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
November 12, 2025 at 11:10 PM
Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
The most recent swan boy really conflicts with my theory of the alternating 12-15 year “long” and 5-8 year “short” cultural decade
October 20, 2025 at 4:20 AM
The most recent swan boy really conflicts with my theory of the alternating 12-15 year “long” and 5-8 year “short” cultural decade
The Chiefs being bad is simply a harbinger of Woke 2. And it shall be woker than ever
The Chiefs going 12-0 in one-score games last year and 0-3 this year is a clear omen the gods have abandoned them. It should be treated the same way ancient peoples treated solar eclipses and floods. They must sacrifice Harrison Butker at sunrise to rid themselves of evil
October 7, 2025 at 3:22 PM
The Chiefs being bad is simply a harbinger of Woke 2. And it shall be woker than ever
I'm doing the inverse. Rom-com with an indie-pop cover of an eyehategod song
October 3, 2025 at 10:52 PM
I'm doing the inverse. Rom-com with an indie-pop cover of an eyehategod song
If they build a better autism treatment, we’ll just build a better autist
September 22, 2025 at 8:27 PM
If they build a better autism treatment, we’ll just build a better autist
I'm just nice guy looking for a woman who can do it all
Fielding
Throwing
Base running
Hitting
Hitting for power
Fielding
Throwing
Base running
Hitting
Hitting for power
September 22, 2025 at 12:43 AM
I'm just nice guy looking for a woman who can do it all
Fielding
Throwing
Base running
Hitting
Hitting for power
Fielding
Throwing
Base running
Hitting
Hitting for power
There’s shit I’d miss, but I’d go blue. Japanese, Korean, most of Southeast Asia, Australian cafes & pub food (I’m sure there’s a lot more to Australian food I'm not familiar with yet, but that's a common craving), & that's before getting into Oceanian cuisine. I could be pretty happy with that
with apologies to the obviously-D map going around, let's try to make this a fairer fight.
each of these regions has approximately a billion people in it. which one you got for cuisine?
each of these regions has approximately a billion people in it. which one you got for cuisine?
September 17, 2025 at 12:29 AM
There’s shit I’d miss, but I’d go blue. Japanese, Korean, most of Southeast Asia, Australian cafes & pub food (I’m sure there’s a lot more to Australian food I'm not familiar with yet, but that's a common craving), & that's before getting into Oceanian cuisine. I could be pretty happy with that
I went to high school with Danny Ramirez from the various Marvel things
Who’s the most famous person you went to high school with?
For me, it's the actress Izabela Vidovic! 🎬🎞️
Pic from the 2017 film Wonder 🚌
For me, it's the actress Izabela Vidovic! 🎬🎞️
Pic from the 2017 film Wonder 🚌
September 16, 2025 at 2:03 AM
I went to high school with Danny Ramirez from the various Marvel things
I hope it hurt as much as he deserved
September 11, 2025 at 4:41 AM
I hope it hurt as much as he deserved
"Oh, they're calling for civil war!" They do that every time they see a girl with a pixie cut
September 11, 2025 at 12:42 AM
"Oh, they're calling for civil war!" They do that every time they see a girl with a pixie cut
Other than something you can find in my replies tab, the only thing I have to say about Charlie Kirk is I got a 12-hour Twitter suspension for replying "lick my balls, diaper boy" at him to something bullshit he said that I mercifully don't remember
September 11, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Other than something you can find in my replies tab, the only thing I have to say about Charlie Kirk is I got a 12-hour Twitter suspension for replying "lick my balls, diaper boy" at him to something bullshit he said that I mercifully don't remember
September 2, 2025 at 6:01 PM