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albertis.bsky.social
everybody’s dad
@albertis.bsky.social
Creative Director of the Doonesbury Cinematic Universe

📍Brooklyn
A maicito mixto, which is sweet corn covered in melted cheese, crushed potato chips, chicken, beef and bacon, & cilantro mayo, pink sauce & pineapple sauce. Best eaten at 4 am while very drunk.

This one is from Los Perros in Fontainebleau in Miami, which opened till 6 am most nights.
November 19, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Every speed limit should be dropped by 20mph and if that would get it to zero or less, cars shouldn’t be there
"my least woke opinion is---"

That's enough. We've had enough people indulging in the "thrill of a little conservatism", as a treat. Of considering reactionary thought to be a salacious and taboo in a world descending into reactionary mania.

Give me your MOST woke opinions. We're bringing it back.
November 14, 2025 at 2:26 PM
Reposted by everybody’s dad
Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes.

Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.
November 12, 2025 at 11:10 PM
The most recent swan boy really conflicts with my theory of the alternating 12-15 year “long” and 5-8 year “short” cultural decade
October 20, 2025 at 4:20 AM
October 13, 2025 at 2:42 PM
The Chiefs being bad is simply a harbinger of Woke 2. And it shall be woker than ever
The Chiefs going 12-0 in one-score games last year and 0-3 this year is a clear omen the gods have abandoned them. It should be treated the same way ancient peoples treated solar eclipses and floods. They must sacrifice Harrison Butker at sunrise to rid themselves of evil
October 7, 2025 at 3:22 PM
I'm doing the inverse. Rom-com with an indie-pop cover of an eyehategod song
ALT VERSION:
October 3, 2025 at 10:52 PM
September 27, 2025 at 8:54 AM
If they build a better autism treatment, we’ll just build a better autist
September 22, 2025 at 8:27 PM
I'm just nice guy looking for a woman who can do it all

Fielding
Throwing
Base running
Hitting
Hitting for power
September 22, 2025 at 12:43 AM
There’s shit I’d miss, but I’d go blue. Japanese, Korean, most of Southeast Asia, Australian cafes & pub food (I’m sure there’s a lot more to Australian food I'm not familiar with yet, but that's a common craving), & that's before getting into Oceanian cuisine. I could be pretty happy with that
with apologies to the obviously-D map going around, let's try to make this a fairer fight.

each of these regions has approximately a billion people in it. which one you got for cuisine?
September 17, 2025 at 12:29 AM
I went to high school with Danny Ramirez from the various Marvel things
Who’s the most famous person you went to high school with?

For me, it's the actress Izabela Vidovic! 🎬🎞️

Pic from the 2017 film Wonder 🚌
September 16, 2025 at 2:03 AM
I hope it hurt as much as he deserved
September 11, 2025 at 4:41 AM
"Oh, they're calling for civil war!" They do that every time they see a girl with a pixie cut
September 11, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Other than something you can find in my replies tab, the only thing I have to say about Charlie Kirk is I got a 12-hour Twitter suspension for replying "lick my balls, diaper boy" at him to something bullshit he said that I mercifully don't remember
September 11, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Behold my all-marlin grid

www.immaculategrid.com/remember
September 2, 2025 at 6:01 PM
The U in the playoffs this year. I feel good about this shit
September 1, 2025 at 5:59 AM
Love that actual Dutch sounds like an American speaking fake German as a joke. Love that there's something real in the world like that. We need that whimsy
September 1, 2025 at 5:52 AM
12 Touchtunes credits used to be $5. Now they're $7. Thanks a lot, trump
August 31, 2025 at 1:45 AM
Saw a man in a top hat and a guy unicycling down 7th Avenue on the way into work. Shaping up to be a very whimsical day
August 27, 2025 at 2:20 PM
Recent Panthers and my New York teams are doing a lot of heavy lifting here
August 14, 2025 at 6:58 AM
This is the kind of shit they used to publish in Weekly World News next to pictures of Bat Boy. What the fuck are we doing?
EXCLUSIVE: Sean Duffy will announce expedited plans to build a nuclear reactor on the moon, his first major action as interim NASA administrator.
Duffy to announce nuclear reactor on the moon
This is the first major agency effort by the interim NASA administrator, who is also the Transportation secretary and a former Fox News host.
www.politico.com
August 4, 2025 at 10:39 PM
I really miss the roughly two decade era where MTV took real chances on scripted TV, from Idiot Box in the early 90s, to Aeon Flux, all the way to Awkward, a show they'd never greenlight today. Also, personally, I really miss the MTV2 rock countdown and subterranean when I was like 14
MTV premiered 44 years ago on August 1, 1981! What are your all-time favorite MTV programs?

(Our favorites? 'Yo! MTV Raps,' '120 Minutes,' 'MTV Unplugged' and the first three seasons of 'The Real World')
August 2, 2025 at 6:32 AM
I fucking lost my shit watching the marlins walkoff tonight. That was incredible. Loved it
August 2, 2025 at 6:26 AM
Boston people talking about the trains being real rides after a sox win
Don’t believe it. They’re just stranded out there. Go pawtucket. G Worcester. They deserve world's better than Boston. Get the revolution an actual soccer stadium
August 2, 2025 at 5:15 AM