Aaron Segman
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aaronsegman.bsky.social
Aaron Segman
@aaronsegman.bsky.social
400 followers 670 following 580 posts
Neurodivergent weird fiction writer. Witness to Our Stupid Future™.

Here's a buncha emojis so I don't have to use words like some medieval shit-shoveler. 🫀👻💋🐭🐙☄🤦🏻‍♂️🤦‍♀️🤦

He/him
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aaronsegman.bsky.social
Aaron Segman @aaronsegman.bsky.social · Dec 11
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was putting his hand in front of your nose and pulling back his hand with the tip of his thumb between his fingers and telling you he's got your nose
aaronsegman.bsky.social
From the same person who makes Squarewords. It's pretty fun. #WQers

explainle.org
Explainle
A word explanation game.
explainle.org
January 29, 2026 at 1:56 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
#MakeAFilmCheaper
Brewster's Thousands
January 2, 2026 at 3:20 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Making Jell-O just to congeal something
auntiesocial.bsky.social Auntie Social @auntiesocial.bsky.social · Dec 31
Going fishing just to reel something
slartibartfast34.bsky.social Mind Goblin @slartibartfast34.bsky.social · Dec 31
Getting a sunburn just to peel something
January 2, 2026 at 3:12 AM
Reposted by Aaron Segman
trippgustin.bsky.social
Happy #Cartoonber2025 with the @cartoonist.coop!!! Our team told the short tale of Juan Jotters and his quest to expand sexy costumes beyond Halloween (and get rich doing it)

Script:
@aaronsegman.bsky.social
Pencils:
@strandedcomics.com
Inks:
@gwinga.bsky.social
Color/Lettering: Me!

#comicoop
A page from the short comic "Hot Couture". Panel 1: EXT: A store with a banner that says "Halloween Store". Juan: There it is, Morbert. The savvy penny-pincher's secret to HOT COUTURE! Panels 2-4: Juan Jotters, a man that looks like a cross between John Waters and Raul Julia's Gomez Addams, raises his arms excitedly. He wears a white tiger stripe suit and a hot pink shirt. Beside him is Morbert, his stoic androgynous assistant, who carries a clipboard with a pencil behind their ear. They are wearing a purple suit and opaque glasses, and never show any expressions. Behind them, two passersby look at the strange characters with suspicion and delight. Morbert: HAUTE couture, sir. Juan: Can't you FEEL it, my friend? Commerce! Celebracion! AMERICA!!" Panel 5: Juan calls out to Kevin, the retail drone. Kevin is a short and stout man with red hair and a beard, wearing an orange vest and carrying several boxes. Kevin yells out in shock. Behind them are several racks of sexy costumes, most of which look like Catwoman. Juan: MY GOOD MAN! Kevin: AAA! Juan: Pray tell, where are your lounge lizard costumes? The ones formerly in Aisle 6, where the revealing super-heroic costumes are currently situated? Panel 6: Kevin: We're not selling lounge lizard outfits this year. The "revealing costumes" are "situated" over half the store. They're our biggest seller. Juan: SCANDAL! Why, a store that abandons its staple offerings will sink in the shifting sands of popular faddery! Where is the LOYALTY to longtime CUSTOMERS? Panel 7: Kevin: Hey man, all anyone wants to spend MONEY on is sexy costumes. Panel 8: Juan: Money, you say...? Panel 9: Juan: Do you realize what this MEANS, Morbert? Morbert: You can't buy a new jacket, Sir? Juan: Pish-posh! When I'm done, we shall bathe in a pool of the FINEST jackets! Panel 10: Juan: For if the lucre flows to sexy costumes, then we shall open our own store... of nothing BUT sexy costumes! Kevin: Sir, no planning rival businesses in the store... The second page in the comic "Hot Couture". Panel 1: The exterior of the same storefront from the previous page, now with a vibrant pink banner that says "Trick AND Treat". Panel 2: The interior of the store, in which several sexy costumes are showcased. Sexy Bride and Groom! Sexy Pirate! Sexy Ghosts! Sexy Cthulu! Sexy Bernie (Sanders)! Juan carefully tailors the train of the sexy bride. Panel 3: A montage of the ways Trick and Treat has helped Juan, Morbert, and a poached Kevin rise to fame and fortune. The three of them pose on the cover of Boo Business magazine, which reads "Juan Jotters! The New King of Kink!". Juan dives into pool filled with the finest jackets, accompanied by Kevin and Morbert. Juan guzzles champagne in a jacuzzi that is also filled with champagne. Panel 4: Morbert approaches a hungover-looking Juan, holding out a piece of paper. Beside him is a bottle labeled "Sweet Regrets Breakfast Champagne". Panel 5: Juan looks at the paper, eyes bloodshot and panicked. We see what he is looking at: a 12 month lease signed in his name. Juan: Oh, ye GODS! The third page in the comic "Hot Couture". Panel 1: Juan Jotters, Morbert, and Kevin stand in Juan's tackily ornate office. Juan is pacing frantically while his employees stand to the side. Juan: By all the cats in CHINA Morbert! Why didn't you tell me I was signing a twelve-month lease?! Morbert: I TRIED to review the terms with you, Sir. Juan: Whatever shall we do? A retail establishment that exists ALL YEAR? How against type! How anti-hip! Shall we be GROCERS, Morbert??? Panel 2: Kevin: Well, we can't sell Halloween costumes anymore. As soon as Halloween's over people immediately start thinking about Thanksgiving, and they..... you're doing that THING again, aren't you? Where something I said gives you an ide-- Panel 3: A close-up of Juan's face. His word balloons cut off Kevin's dialogue and extend into the next panel. Juan: That's it, Morbert! Kevin: Kevin. Juan: Sexy THANKSGIVING costumes! Panel 4: A montage spread of several different sexy costumes with accompanying text. The text for each costume reads: Sexy Black Friday shopper! Sexy football player! Sexy Cornucopia! Sexy Turkey! Sexy Pumpkin Pie! Sexy Pilgrim! Sexy Native Ameri... actually nevermind. SEXY MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE BALLOON!!! A comic page from "Hot Couture". P1: Two news anchors with similar features, Bob and Tina, smile at the camera. Bob: In other news, the Sexy Thanksgiving costume trend is sweeping the nation! Tina: That's right, Bob! P2: A scene from the white house, which is decorated to look like the film 1984 with Big Brother overhead. Donald Trump is in a sexy turkey costume being served by workers in Prole costumes. Tina's VO: The President followed up his Halloween Great Gatsby Gala with a Turkey Day Bash based on another classic novel... P3: A wide shot of the Turkey Day Bash, showing many attendees in sexy Thanksgiving outfits (pilgrims, wishbones, gravy boats) being served by Prole workers. Tina's VO: Guests were decked out in the latest holiday fashion, showing SKIN as tantalizing turkeys and provocative pilgrims! P4: A scene of Juan Jotters, Morbert, and Kevin celebrating in Juan's office from the previous page. Morbert pours them all champagne as they watch the news broadcast. Morbert: We are a hit. I must admit that making Thanksgiving sexy was marketing genius. Kevin: Aww, thanks Morb-- Juan: Merci beaucoup, Morbert! Your faith sustains me! Bob's VO: I guess they were showing GRAVY skin, Tina! Tina's VO: Trying too hard, Bob. P5: Juan taps his chin in thought as the three discuss the problem. Juan: But we've still ten more months of wretched obligation to our conniving landlord... Morbert: We've probably made enough at this point to just buy the building. Kevin: Or we could just expand our operations to other holida-- P6: A small popout panel of Juan emoting excitedly. Juan: IT JUST CAME TO ME! Kevin VO: Goddammit. P7: A spread of more sexy holiday costumes, arranged by date. We see a sexy Santa, Father Time, Groundhog, Cupid, Leprechaun, and two Easter bunnies humping behind a "CENSORED" bar. Juan's head pops out of the page excitedly. Juan: Now to keep profits coming in year round! Sexiness knows no season! FIN
December 31, 2025 at 4:19 PM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
One to rule them all

youtube.com/shorts/2iB4p...
Audio by @_videojames_
YouTube video by Punkey Doodles
youtube.com
December 30, 2025 at 11:49 PM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Merry Boxing Day Eve, everyone.
December 25, 2025 at 6:12 PM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
You will be visited by three spirits
Carl Sagan Isaac Asimov Christopher Hitchens
December 9, 2025 at 10:09 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Best ad ever.

youtu.be/RHYbm6K0HlU
1 Onion Subscriber vs 20 Non-Subscribers | Encircled
YouTube video by The Onion
youtu.be
December 3, 2025 at 8:42 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
William Tell: propelled to greatness by a psychotic hatred of apples.

Follow your passion.
November 30, 2025 at 10:39 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
This Thanksgiving, you may find yourself trying to tell your right-wing uncle that whenever the government says they want surveillance powers for X, they actually use them for Y, Z, and everything else. Here's a perfect recent example for you to use:

theintercept.com/2025/11/21/f...
How Universities Used Counterterror Intelligence-Sharing Hubs to Surveil Pro-Palestine Students
Internal university communications reveal how a network established for post-9/11 intelligence sharing was turned on students protesting genocide.
theintercept.com
November 23, 2025 at 9:24 PM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
God, Pluribus just keeps getting better. Every damn week.
November 23, 2025 at 6:27 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
If you've never seen any of Stewart Lee's stand-up, it's worth seeking out. Even though many of the references were lost on me since I'm not from the UK, it's still fascinating to watch him command a space or totally pivot halfway through a bit.

youtube.com/shorts/UpXBA...
Stewart Lee on Marvel in the era of Trump & ICE
YouTube video by Class Clown Podcast
youtube.com
November 12, 2025 at 9:43 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Chuckenshit

www.thenation.com/article/poli...
After This Shutdown Surrender, Chuck Schumer Needs to Go
The Democratic leader’s cave-in makes it all too clear: It’s time to clean house in the Senate.
www.thenation.com
November 10, 2025 at 5:37 PM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Robert California has just endorsed Andrew Cuomo
November 4, 2025 at 4:27 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Change one letter. Ruin a candy.

Wizzlers
auntiesocial.bsky.social Auntie Social @auntiesocial.bsky.social · Oct 29
Change one letter. Ruin a candy.

S&Ms
dookofurl.bsky.social Dook of URL @dookofurl.bsky.social · Oct 29
Change one letter. Ruin a candy.

Fruit Stripe Gun
November 1, 2025 at 4:27 AM
Reposted by Aaron Segman
ofmanyfandoms.bsky.social
www.womansworld.com/entertainmen...
A 1995 ‘Star Trek’ Episode About Homeless Camps Feels Eerily Relevant | Woman's World
In 1995, an episode of 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’ called 'Past Tense' imagined a future of walled-off homeless camps. Three decades later, its warning feels eerily real.
www.womansworld.com
October 31, 2025 at 2:54 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
The scourge of grammar-based vandalism has got to be stopped.
A sign at the self-checkout line at the grocery store saying "10 items or less." Someone wrote in "fewer" next to "less."
October 26, 2025 at 11:46 PM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Apparently the judge in the Mahmoud Khahlil lawsuit got pretty feisty in calling out Trump. He's a Reagan appointee, too. That last line...oof.

theintercept.com/2025/09/30/r...
Judge Finds Rubio and Noem Intentionally Targeted Pro-Palestine Activists to Chill Speech
The unusual ruling considered the Trump administration’s targeting of students a clear violation of the First Amendment.
theintercept.com
October 1, 2025 at 4:32 PM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Ruin a movie by making it about Gary

Gary Potter and the Gary Hallows, Part Gary
fozofthedead.bsky.social Fozofthedead @fozofthedead.bsky.social · Sep 29
Ruin a movie by making it about Gary

Gary does Dallas
chaoticrants.bsky.social Chaotic Rants @chaoticrants.bsky.social · Sep 2
Ruin a movie by making it about Gary

Gary and Prejudice
September 30, 2025 at 4:07 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Subtly downgrade a band

Counting Cows
morganducks.bsky.social Hi! My name is Paul @morganducks.bsky.social · Sep 22
subtly downgrade a band

Linkin Park Bench
September 23, 2025 at 6:44 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
This is what's making me laugh tonight.

youtu.be/yA5lujNlkn8
Brother, I am troubled
YouTube video by burialgoods
youtu.be
September 21, 2025 at 8:40 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
NSFW a Band
Poon-Tang Clan

or Cumbawumba
auntiesocial.bsky.social Auntie Social @auntiesocial.bsky.social · Sep 19
NSFW a Band
Three Dong Night
fragboner.bsky.social Chip bitney @fragboner.bsky.social · Sep 19
NSFW a Band
The SugarBoobs
September 19, 2025 at 5:54 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Post a female character you love.
A woman taking a break from a hike, sitting on a small hill & looking out over the woods, while her dog gnaws on a stick.
September 18, 2025 at 3:09 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
The latest Bad Faith has some good discussion about being too online & how it plays into the hands of our feudal overlords. Ignore the headline about Taibbi. That was a small part of the ep & seemed kinda petty compared to the wide-ranging talk that followed.

badfaith.libsyn.com/episode-510-...
Bad Faith: Episode 510 - Matt Taibbi's Free Speech Blind Spot (w/ Russell Dobular & Keaton Weiss)
 to instantly unlock our full premium episode library: Russell and Keaton from  return to Bad Faith to pick up where : The curious lacuna in journalist Matt Tabbi's coverage of censorship. ...
badfaith.libsyn.com
September 18, 2025 at 12:58 AM
aaronsegman.bsky.social
Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74
spacefordogs.bsky.social Thotdog Cart Exile @spacefordogs.bsky.social · Sep 16
Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74
xaq.bsky.social Xaq turns 40 this month?! @xaq.bsky.social · Sep 16
Larry Tesler, inventor of the cut, copy, and paste commands, dies at 74
September 16, 2025 at 5:25 AM