What religion are you? I'm crischin
September 30, 2025 at 6:18 AM
What religion are you? I'm crischin
I binge everything: food, tv, video games, exercise, cleaning, friendship. I shovel it in until I can't stand to look at it!!
September 16, 2025 at 7:59 PM
I binge everything: food, tv, video games, exercise, cleaning, friendship. I shovel it in until I can't stand to look at it!!
Martin Short is like cilantro. So many people adore him, but to me, he tastes like dirt.
September 16, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Martin Short is like cilantro. So many people adore him, but to me, he tastes like dirt.
Does John Early look like Ryan Gosling, or are they both just blonde?
July 22, 2025 at 12:25 AM
Does John Early look like Ryan Gosling, or are they both just blonde?
I can't wait to be a grandpa's girlfriend who all the grandkids dislike
July 21, 2025 at 4:48 PM
I can't wait to be a grandpa's girlfriend who all the grandkids dislike
Reposted by Valerie
I hate anxiety! I was just drinking paint and I got this awful feeling that it has lead in it, even though I know I would never buy lead drinking paint, but the feeling just gnawed at me until I checked. I wish I could just be normal and enjoy my paint.
July 2, 2025 at 1:21 PM
I hate anxiety! I was just drinking paint and I got this awful feeling that it has lead in it, even though I know I would never buy lead drinking paint, but the feeling just gnawed at me until I checked. I wish I could just be normal and enjoy my paint.
Reposted by Valerie
Texas chain saw massacre is full of plot holes... what happens to the victims when they die? is there an afterlife?
June 12, 2025 at 4:22 PM
Texas chain saw massacre is full of plot holes... what happens to the victims when they die? is there an afterlife?
Shitting in silence, she crabs her notebook and writes, "Please kiln me now."
May 24, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Shitting in silence, she crabs her notebook and writes, "Please kiln me now."
Reposted by Valerie
responding to coworker's banter with a charged Heavy attack
May 12, 2025 at 1:21 PM
responding to coworker's banter with a charged Heavy attack
Animal cruelty is when my cat is mean to me.
April 26, 2025 at 6:01 PM
Animal cruelty is when my cat is mean to me.
I'd be pope remotely if they cared to ask me.
April 26, 2025 at 5:30 AM
I'd be pope remotely if they cared to ask me.
Reposted by Valerie
bro they are turning your story into a parable about folly
April 20, 2025 at 8:12 PM
bro they are turning your story into a parable about folly
Reposted by Valerie
give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves for a day, teach them enough rope and they'll hang themselves for a lifetime
April 15, 2025 at 11:06 PM
give them enough rope and they'll hang themselves for a day, teach them enough rope and they'll hang themselves for a lifetime
Mark L. Walberg walked so Michael B. Jordan could run.
March 28, 2025 at 12:42 AM
Mark L. Walberg walked so Michael B. Jordan could run.
In 2016, Beyonce was a lot like my Aunt Connie when she used to ask for a big side of lemon slices at restaurants - No one realized she was making Lemonade.
February 7, 2025 at 4:00 PM
In 2016, Beyonce was a lot like my Aunt Connie when she used to ask for a big side of lemon slices at restaurants - No one realized she was making Lemonade.
Shawn said it's his dream to be "The Patient"-ed by me. So essentially, tied to a cozy spot, not allowed to leave the house or go to work, and I bring him coffee and chinese food routinely. I'm gonna talk a lot about Kenny Chesney too though so it's not all sunshine and rainbows!!
September 26, 2023 at 4:45 AM
Shawn said it's his dream to be "The Patient"-ed by me. So essentially, tied to a cozy spot, not allowed to leave the house or go to work, and I bring him coffee and chinese food routinely. I'm gonna talk a lot about Kenny Chesney too though so it's not all sunshine and rainbows!!
Reposted by Valerie
It’s not at all that I want to be dead, it’s that I wish dying were like in Super Mario Brothers where you got to start over fresh with a better idea of what to avoid.
September 4, 2023 at 11:55 PM
It’s not at all that I want to be dead, it’s that I wish dying were like in Super Mario Brothers where you got to start over fresh with a better idea of what to avoid.
Reposted by Valerie
dragging bags of trash up to the old wardrobe in my attic and tossing them into narnia
September 3, 2023 at 6:24 PM
dragging bags of trash up to the old wardrobe in my attic and tossing them into narnia
Every woman in every movie should be carrying her purse at all times. If she isn't, we need a line of dialogue to explain why not.
September 2, 2023 at 7:49 PM
Every woman in every movie should be carrying her purse at all times. If she isn't, we need a line of dialogue to explain why not.
I'm like, children?
And the universe is like, cantaloupe farm!!!
And the universe is like, cantaloupe farm!!!
September 2, 2023 at 3:58 PM
I'm like, children?
And the universe is like, cantaloupe farm!!!
And the universe is like, cantaloupe farm!!!
Two books I've read recently have mentioned cantaloupe farms. I feel like the universe is trying to tell me something, but I'm like NOPE, YOU CAN MOVE ON FROM THAT ONE, IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
September 2, 2023 at 6:59 AM
Two books I've read recently have mentioned cantaloupe farms. I feel like the universe is trying to tell me something, but I'm like NOPE, YOU CAN MOVE ON FROM THAT ONE, IT'S NOT HAPPENING.
I'm 2 hours into Psycho on audiobook. Man, this dude's mom is CRAZY!!!
August 30, 2023 at 3:49 PM
I'm 2 hours into Psycho on audiobook. Man, this dude's mom is CRAZY!!!
I just spoke with an Australian veterinarian so of course my afternoon is now going to be spent acting as my own dialect coach.
August 23, 2023 at 9:58 PM
I just spoke with an Australian veterinarian so of course my afternoon is now going to be spent acting as my own dialect coach.
Riddle: he's a lonely boy though he has two family members to play with. In birth order, he's both the oldest and the youngest. He hates himself despite being his mother's favorite child. How can this be?
August 21, 2023 at 6:01 AM
Riddle: he's a lonely boy though he has two family members to play with. In birth order, he's both the oldest and the youngest. He hates himself despite being his mother's favorite child. How can this be?
My first thought upon waking up this morning was "I forgot George Clooney had a pet pig." My sleeping brain gets shit done.
August 9, 2023 at 6:07 PM
My first thought upon waking up this morning was "I forgot George Clooney had a pet pig." My sleeping brain gets shit done.