Ian King
@twoht.bsky.social
Podcaster, (association) football writer, copywriter, $ubstacker. Writer for Football League World, also seen on Fotmob, When Saturday Comes. Come on in, the takes are *toasty*. London-born, Sussex based. He/him.
https://unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
https://unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
I've been writing about the Championship for work since May and it really is the most unfathomable of divisions.
A perplexing day for the locals.
Went to The Valley with my neighbour and ahead of kick-off, he proudly told me Charlton had lost just once at home this year.
We then watched Southampton score five goals in the first half.
Went to The Valley with my neighbour and ahead of kick-off, he proudly told me Charlton had lost just once at home this year.
We then watched Southampton score five goals in the first half.
November 22, 2025 at 3:58 PM
I've been writing about the Championship for work since May and it really is the most unfathomable of divisions.
Half time - Lewes 0-0 Chatham. Chatham had their goalkeeper sent off but they had a sub, the COWARDS.
Mind you, they're still the better team. The weather is beyond abysmal. Steady yourselves, ladies, but I'm saturated from the waist down.
Mind you, they're still the better team. The weather is beyond abysmal. Steady yourselves, ladies, but I'm saturated from the waist down.
November 22, 2025 at 3:56 PM
Half time - Lewes 0-0 Chatham. Chatham had their goalkeeper sent off but they had a sub, the COWARDS.
Mind you, they're still the better team. The weather is beyond abysmal. Steady yourselves, ladies, but I'm saturated from the waist down.
Mind you, they're still the better team. The weather is beyond abysmal. Steady yourselves, ladies, but I'm saturated from the waist down.
The Isles of Scilly Marketing Board knocking it out the park, here
November 22, 2025 at 12:28 PM
The Isles of Scilly Marketing Board knocking it out the park, here
Off to Lewes this afternoon, lads, to find out what sort of CRISIS is going on there at the moment. They're at home to Chatham Town. Also, I'm a little surprised by how many times I've been there but how little I've seen of the town itself.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/words-and-...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/words-and-...
Words & Pictures to Follow: Lewes vs Chatham Town - Crisis? What Crisis?
Lewes have had their ups and downs over the years, and at the moment they seem to be in a bit of a trough. But to what extent is this a CRISIS?
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
November 22, 2025 at 9:49 AM
Off to Lewes this afternoon, lads, to find out what sort of CRISIS is going on there at the moment. They're at home to Chatham Town. Also, I'm a little surprised by how many times I've been there but how little I've seen of the town itself.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/words-and-...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/words-and-...
You match on UD this week will be Lewes vs Chatham Town in the Isthmian League Premier Division. Preview later, full write up on Sunday.
They're a CRISIS CLUB, according to this month's WSC. So let's go and see what this crisis is all about, then.
They're a CRISIS CLUB, according to this month's WSC. So let's go and see what this crisis is all about, then.
November 21, 2025 at 2:59 PM
You match on UD this week will be Lewes vs Chatham Town in the Isthmian League Premier Division. Preview later, full write up on Sunday.
They're a CRISIS CLUB, according to this month's WSC. So let's go and see what this crisis is all about, then.
They're a CRISIS CLUB, according to this month's WSC. So let's go and see what this crisis is all about, then.
It's going some, but I've contrived to miss every wicket since I woke up because I was pottering around the house doing things. I'm switching it off now so that Australia are skittled out by 8.30.
November 21, 2025 at 8:10 AM
It's going some, but I've contrived to miss every wicket since I woke up because I was pottering around the house doing things. I'm switching it off now so that Australia are skittled out by 8.30.
Reposted by Ian King
This place is going to become known as "Penis Park" and there's nothing they can do about it
November 20, 2025 at 8:14 PM
This place is going to become known as "Penis Park" and there's nothing they can do about it
"HE'S A GREAT DAD! HE IS! HE'S DEFINITELY NOT A KET-AFFLICTED WEIRDO WHO JUST WANTS TO SPERMINATE AS MANY WOMEN AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE HE BELIEVES HIS APARTHEID-FUELLED GENES ARE SUPERIOR TO ANYONE ELSE'S! THAT'S THE TRUTH!"
November 20, 2025 at 11:56 AM
"HE'S A GREAT DAD! HE IS! HE'S DEFINITELY NOT A KET-AFFLICTED WEIRDO WHO JUST WANTS TO SPERMINATE AS MANY WOMEN AS POSSIBLE BECAUSE HE BELIEVES HIS APARTHEID-FUELLED GENES ARE SUPERIOR TO ANYONE ELSE'S! THAT'S THE TRUTH!"
This week's podcast is upon us, and as it was an international break weekend that means a readers' questions special!
(Recorded while Scotland were beating Denmark, meaning that I didn't even get to see Kenny McLean's goal until about 1am)
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-footba...
(Recorded while Scotland were beating Denmark, meaning that I didn't even get to see Kenny McLean's goal until about 1am)
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-footba...
The Football Kickback: The Fame, the Lifestyle, the Bicycle Kicks
It's been another international break weekend, so it's time for another readers' questions special.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
November 19, 2025 at 12:40 PM
This week's podcast is upon us, and as it was an international break weekend that means a readers' questions special!
(Recorded while Scotland were beating Denmark, meaning that I didn't even get to see Kenny McLean's goal until about 1am)
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-footba...
(Recorded while Scotland were beating Denmark, meaning that I didn't even get to see Kenny McLean's goal until about 1am)
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-footba...
Turkey having scored against Spain means that England are the only European team to qualify with a 100% record and without having conceded a goal.
November 18, 2025 at 8:59 PM
Turkey having scored against Spain means that England are the only European team to qualify with a 100% record and without having conceded a goal.
(Wales have also scored)
November 18, 2025 at 8:08 PM
(Wales have also scored)
The only Twitter screenshots I will accept
Wir brauchen den San Marino Fan Account auf bluesky!!! #ROUSMR
November 18, 2025 at 8:00 PM
The only Twitter screenshots I will accept
Learned it off Alf, he did
I just know Yoda can get freaky in bed
November 18, 2025 at 7:57 PM
Learned it off Alf, he did
Man, getting out of Old Trafford has been good fot Scott McTominay
November 18, 2025 at 7:54 PM
Man, getting out of Old Trafford has been good fot Scott McTominay
Still need questions for tonight's podcast :-)
Tonight, my babbies, tonight.
Get your podcast questions in and we'll answer them BADLY BUT CONFIDENTLY.
Any subject, because it's a READERS' QUESTIONS SPECIAL.
Get your podcast questions in and we'll answer them BADLY BUT CONFIDENTLY.
Any subject, because it's a READERS' QUESTIONS SPECIAL.
Recording a podcast tonight if you've got any questions? Any subject. We can do a silly one.
November 18, 2025 at 7:49 PM
Still need questions for tonight's podcast :-)
Personal rather than political, but I guess the thing is that I got through a divorce by maintaining this position, but the second time it happened it really did blow the hope out of me, just vaporised it. In many senses, that's really what has hurt me the most. A loss of hope that feels indelible.
I keep thinking about the Raymond Williams line: "To be truly radical is to make hope possible rather than despair convincing".
Hope is not easy. Despair seems obvious. But every howl of despair manifests as further malignance. Compliance with fascism is despair metastasising.
Hope is not easy. Despair seems obvious. But every howl of despair manifests as further malignance. Compliance with fascism is despair metastasising.
November 18, 2025 at 6:55 PM
Personal rather than political, but I guess the thing is that I got through a divorce by maintaining this position, but the second time it happened it really did blow the hope out of me, just vaporised it. In many senses, that's really what has hurt me the most. A loss of hope that feels indelible.
I can confirm that one of the most satisfying things about the work I do at the moment is selecting photos of people I don't like which make them look like a twat or otherwise amuse me to use as a featured image.
whoever selected the photos for this article deserves an award for photo selection, this is peak photo selection, unsurpassable perfection, all other photo selector people can just get their coats and go home because this selection will never be bettered
Graham Linehan clashes with Father Ted star Ardal O’Hanlon over trans views
https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/11/18/graham-linehan-ardal-ohanlon-anti-trans-views/?utm_content=1763480405&utm_medium=social&utm_source=bluesky
https://www.thepinknews.com/2025/11/18/graham-linehan-ardal-ohanlon-anti-trans-views/?utm_content=1763480405&utm_medium=social&utm_source=bluesky
November 18, 2025 at 5:37 PM
I can confirm that one of the most satisfying things about the work I do at the moment is selecting photos of people I don't like which make them look like a twat or otherwise amuse me to use as a featured image.
Holy shit, the last seven months of my life has just manifested in an Onion post
Happiness Downplayed For Single Friend https://theonion.com/happiness-downplayed-for-single-friend/
November 18, 2025 at 5:07 PM
Holy shit, the last seven months of my life has just manifested in an Onion post
"Boring" is a completely subjective word. I think every PL season starting with only 2-3 teams having a realistic chance of winning it is "boring", but there ain't anyone doing shit about that.
The recent rise of long throws and set pieces has led to questions about whether football is becoming boring.
Former Arsenal, Manchester City and France defender Gael Clichy thinks he has a solution - what do you think?
🔗 www.nytimes.com/athletic/680...
Former Arsenal, Manchester City and France defender Gael Clichy thinks he has a solution - what do you think?
🔗 www.nytimes.com/athletic/680...
November 18, 2025 at 5:01 PM
"Boring" is a completely subjective word. I think every PL season starting with only 2-3 teams having a realistic chance of winning it is "boring", but there ain't anyone doing shit about that.
-Rolled my eyes 8046 times at somebody getting the wrong of the stick (top 89%)
-Got annoyed with someone even though I agreed with the central thrust of what they were actually trying to say 6742 times (top 19%)
-Had what I'd just said repeated back to me in the replies 41299 times (top 98%)
-Got annoyed with someone even though I agreed with the central thrust of what they were actually trying to say 6742 times (top 19%)
-Had what I'd just said repeated back to me in the replies 41299 times (top 98%)
Here's my Bluesky Wrapped for 2025
- I scolded 64 other users (top 72% of Bluesky users)
- I was scolded by 112 users (top 54% of Bluesky users)
- I explained the joke to the original poster 14 times (top 62% of Bluesky users)
Get yours at bskywrapped2025.bsky.app
- I scolded 64 other users (top 72% of Bluesky users)
- I was scolded by 112 users (top 54% of Bluesky users)
- I explained the joke to the original poster 14 times (top 62% of Bluesky users)
Get yours at bskywrapped2025.bsky.app
November 18, 2025 at 4:38 PM
-Rolled my eyes 8046 times at somebody getting the wrong of the stick (top 89%)
-Got annoyed with someone even though I agreed with the central thrust of what they were actually trying to say 6742 times (top 19%)
-Had what I'd just said repeated back to me in the replies 41299 times (top 98%)
-Got annoyed with someone even though I agreed with the central thrust of what they were actually trying to say 6742 times (top 19%)
-Had what I'd just said repeated back to me in the replies 41299 times (top 98%)
Tonight, my babbies, tonight.
Get your podcast questions in and we'll answer them BADLY BUT CONFIDENTLY.
Any subject, because it's a READERS' QUESTIONS SPECIAL.
Get your podcast questions in and we'll answer them BADLY BUT CONFIDENTLY.
Any subject, because it's a READERS' QUESTIONS SPECIAL.
Recording a podcast tonight if you've got any questions? Any subject. We can do a silly one.
November 18, 2025 at 4:10 PM
Tonight, my babbies, tonight.
Get your podcast questions in and we'll answer them BADLY BUT CONFIDENTLY.
Any subject, because it's a READERS' QUESTIONS SPECIAL.
Get your podcast questions in and we'll answer them BADLY BUT CONFIDENTLY.
Any subject, because it's a READERS' QUESTIONS SPECIAL.
Reposted by Ian King
Football at all levels has a dangerously insane relationship with its referees, but in non-league it also comes with a chasm between reality and foaming Twitter activists who've never been to a game.
This week's newsletter is on the AFC Rushden & Diamonds v Coventry Sphinx match abandonment.
This week's newsletter is on the AFC Rushden & Diamonds v Coventry Sphinx match abandonment.
Rushden & Diamonds match abandonment was the right response from the referee. Non-league deserves a better reaction.
The idiotic opinions of social media meatheads have no bearing on football safeguarding in the real world
hpbp.substack.com
November 18, 2025 at 9:34 AM
Football at all levels has a dangerously insane relationship with its referees, but in non-league it also comes with a chasm between reality and foaming Twitter activists who've never been to a game.
This week's newsletter is on the AFC Rushden & Diamonds v Coventry Sphinx match abandonment.
This week's newsletter is on the AFC Rushden & Diamonds v Coventry Sphinx match abandonment.
A piece about the international break, about Scotland, Wales and Ireland, and ultimately about England as well.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-purity...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-purity...
The 'purity' of International Break Weekends Depends Very Much on Where You Come From
It's a big night for Wales and Scotland, and Sunday was a big afternoon for Ireland. But while international football is 'pure' in some senses, it isn't in others, and that makes me sad.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com
November 18, 2025 at 9:13 AM
A piece about the international break, about Scotland, Wales and Ireland, and ultimately about England as well.
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-purity...
unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/the-purity...
I'm really struggling to think of anything as pathetic and spineless as this Labour government in the face of the rise of far-right politics. They've achieved the extreme achievement of failing live even live up to the lowest of expectations that I had for them.
Plans to leave refugees in a state of perpetual uncertainty about where and if they can rebuild their lives are not just performative cruelty, they are counterproductive to integration and the economy. It doesn’t have to be like this - 1/2
November 17, 2025 at 12:08 PM
I'm really struggling to think of anything as pathetic and spineless as this Labour government in the face of the rise of far-right politics. They've achieved the extreme achievement of failing live even live up to the lowest of expectations that I had for them.