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toptips.bsky.social
Top Tips
@toptips.bsky.social
The home of probably the worst tips in the entire world.

Send your crappy tips to @toptips.bsky.social or has #TopTip #TopTips
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#TopTip Convince your kids you work for Ryanair by dropping them off at a different school.
July 20, 2025 at 8:19 PM
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Secondary school science teachers! On induction days, place a beaker of concentrated hydrochloric acid in one old boot and a beaker of ammonium hydroxide in the other, place them by your desk with some broken test tubes, and watch the kids' faces from the safety of the prep room. #TopTip #LifeHack
August 3, 2025 at 7:27 PM
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Just used an old copy of Viz to chase a wasp out of my room #toptips
July 20, 2025 at 2:20 PM
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AVOID being penalised for breaking the law by simply not breaking the law #TopTips
He'd only been parked up for 15 minutes.
Read more: www.kentonline.co.uk/medway/news/...
July 9, 2025 at 12:10 PM
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Neil Young. Write songs in a key you can sing. #TopTips #LiveAid
July 12, 2025 at 10:30 PM
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Top tip! If you cut your sandwich into fourths, you get more sandwich! 😉

Stick around for more top tips!

#toptip!
July 10, 2025 at 10:21 PM
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Avoid expensive depilation treatments by just covering your legs in budget plasters and then ripping them off #toptip
July 17, 2025 at 6:36 AM
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During sex, screaming her father’s name at the height of orgasm enhances her pleasure considerably. #TopTip
June 29, 2025 at 5:42 PM
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To increase the size of the hole in the knee of your jeans just pull them on quickly with reckless abandon. Your toes will instantly find the hole and expand it.

#toptip
July 7, 2025 at 7:10 AM
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Feel like a yuppie from the 80s by travelling on the central line #toptip
May 8, 2025 at 2:37 PM
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May 21, 2025 at 6:53 PM
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Always wear your most supportive bra when demonstrating the pogo dance to Gen Z #toptip
May 24, 2025 at 7:03 PM
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I'm hosting my first ever charity pub quiz tomorrow night. Now would be a good time to buy shares in Immodium #toptip
May 30, 2025 at 10:51 PM
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Avoid getting scammed out of £15k for a Glastonbury yurt by not having £15k to spend in the first place #toptips
May 23, 2025 at 8:34 AM
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Has anyone got a time machine I could borrow?

In other news #toptip - always label your floorboards when cutting a hole in the floor
May 9, 2025 at 3:14 PM
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#TopTips Stop saying "I can't talk right now, I am busy". Implies the issue is on your end, doesn't get the message across to pushy people.

Say instead: "You must progress further in the story to unlock this content". Now it's their fault they haven't put enough effort into the game.
May 7, 2025 at 9:48 AM
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Avoid security threats by sticking to an American road and avoiding the full moon #TopTips
May 5, 2025 at 8:54 AM
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#TopTips Stop saying “I’m a bit tired”. It’s dull and lacks importance.

Say “This vessel can no longer contain my magnificence, I must begin the venting ritual”. Much more dramatic and will stop people asking about how your morning is going.
May 5, 2025 at 7:52 PM
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Recreate the feeling of buying knock off stuff from the back of a van, by ordering your IKEA delivery to the nearest supermarket car park. #toptip
May 5, 2025 at 12:24 PM
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As I get older, one thing that feels really good is splashing cold water on my face. Try it! #topTips #water
April 25, 2025 at 10:05 PM
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#toptips Get Top men to work on it
a person is holding a nail on a piece of wood .
ALT: a person is holding a nail on a piece of wood .
media.tenor.com
April 30, 2025 at 5:18 PM
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Do you struggle to remember that 17 digit "strong" password with 3 special characters?

Why not just save it on your phone which is protected by the same 4 digit pin that you've used for 30 years?

#TwopTwips #TopTips
April 13, 2025 at 3:46 PM
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If you answer the door to a cold caller from a popular mobile phone and broadband provider with a potato peeler clenched between your teeth, they don’t hang about. #toptips
April 24, 2025 at 5:21 PM
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#toptip don't shout 'time to get off the bed and get outside, Mr Hairy Bollocks' at #notourcat when someone else is on a conference call. #oops
April 9, 2025 at 12:31 PM
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Cut the end off toothpaste tubes and scrape the last bits out with your brush. You can get a surprising number of brushings still with what you can't manage to squeeze out.
April 10, 2025 at 1:35 PM