decades-long manhunt finally ends

If you're playing this Pokemon game, feel free to add me.

hello, 911? yes, there are a bunch of people here and they are absolutely DEMANDING some figgy pudding

Sometimes I get carsick when I eat too many cars

Fitness Idea:

Make food heavier. That way, as you are eating or snacking, you will also be lifting weights!

I love saying the word exacerbate like I know what the fuck fancy words are. I’ll toss that into anything. Don’t exacerbate that sandwich by putting on too much mustard. What are you gonna do? Challenge me, the man who used the fancy word?

I’m not allowed in museums anymore because I point to everything and yell “IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM!”

So weird that hot dogs come in packages of 10 and my wife left me for a magician

First post on BlueSky, let's make it a real banger.

Bowling Jesus died for our pins.

I didn’t leave X because people there had different opinions and ideologies, I left because it stopped being fun. I get on social media to chat with people who think thinking is fun. X stopped being a place where that was true.

Robocop is a movie about a guy who gets killed on the job and they still made him go back to work

People are leaving Twitter because it’s not fun anymore and no one is obligated to be on a platform they don’t enjoy.

It’s not rocket science.