Texan Alex
@texanalex.bsky.social
Houstonian living his best Texpat life in ChiBeria. Follow for Astros tweets and potent potables.
“F@$# off, Alex!” - Justin Verlander
“F@$# off, Alex!” - Justin Verlander
Reposted by Texan Alex
U.S. Border Patrol commander Greg Bovino needs be thrown in prison before he beats someone to death for walking down the sidewalk.
Overnight court filings seem to be giving us a peek at what U.S. Border Patrol commander Greg Bovino said in his deposition so far (it apparently continues today):
November 4, 2025 at 2:27 PM
U.S. Border Patrol commander Greg Bovino needs be thrown in prison before he beats someone to death for walking down the sidewalk.
Hate to say it but I think is guarantees Bregman is a Yankee.
December 9, 2024 at 3:36 AM
Hate to say it but I think is guarantees Bregman is a Yankee.
Reposted by Texan Alex
Me: adds approximately 45 books to my want-to-read list
Also me: I should read Lord of the Rings again
Also me: I should read Lord of the Rings again
December 2, 2024 at 5:09 AM
Me: adds approximately 45 books to my want-to-read list
Also me: I should read Lord of the Rings again
Also me: I should read Lord of the Rings again
Reposted by Texan Alex
[Camera lovingly caresses the entire minutes-long brawl as millions of people are far too locked in to change the channel]
Gus and Joel: Nobody wants to see this
Gus and Joel: Nobody wants to see this
November 30, 2024 at 8:36 PM
[Camera lovingly caresses the entire minutes-long brawl as millions of people are far too locked in to change the channel]
Gus and Joel: Nobody wants to see this
Gus and Joel: Nobody wants to see this
Reposted by Texan Alex
Reposted by Texan Alex
This first-hand account of homelessness is one of the best things I’ve read this year.
www.esquire.com/news-politic...
www.esquire.com/news-politic...
My Life As a Homeless Man in America
An extraordinary firsthand account.
www.esquire.com
November 19, 2024 at 4:55 AM
This first-hand account of homelessness is one of the best things I’ve read this year.
www.esquire.com/news-politic...
www.esquire.com/news-politic...
Idk why my IG reels are full of nostalgic mid-aughts sports montages set to a Linger cover but yes I’m watching every single one and contemplating my mortality
November 15, 2024 at 10:19 PM
Idk why my IG reels are full of nostalgic mid-aughts sports montages set to a Linger cover but yes I’m watching every single one and contemplating my mortality
Reposted by Texan Alex
One thing about the western United States is they will really just put a giant dinosaur statue outside any business for no reason and I respect the hell outta that
November 15, 2024 at 9:01 PM
One thing about the western United States is they will really just put a giant dinosaur statue outside any business for no reason and I respect the hell outta that
Reposted by Texan Alex
Kevin Durant.
Another idea that no one is proposing but maybe someone should: Dems need to find their own narcissistic sociopath with zero connection to politics or public service.
November 15, 2024 at 4:01 PM
Kevin Durant.
Reposted by Texan Alex
Love this about Book It! and Pizza Hut. Gift article: www.nytimes.com/2024/10/31/b...
How Do You Get Kids to Read? Give Them Pizza.
Pizza Hut’s Book It! literacy program, founded in 1984, has reached more than 70 million students — and counts the radio host Charlamagne Tha God among its fans.
www.nytimes.com
November 15, 2024 at 3:54 AM
Love this about Book It! and Pizza Hut. Gift article: www.nytimes.com/2024/10/31/b...
Reposted by Texan Alex
Hi everyone.
The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.
We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.
We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.
I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.
The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.
We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.
We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.
I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.
The Onion Buys Alex Jones’s Infowars Out of Bankruptcy
The satirical news site planned to turn Infowars into a parody of itself, mocking “weird internet personalities” who peddle conspiracy theories and health supplements.
www.nytimes.com
November 14, 2024 at 2:09 PM
Hi everyone.
The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.
We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.
We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.
I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.
The Onion, with the help of the Sandy Hook families, has purchased InfoWars.
We are planning on making it a very funny, very stupid website.
We have retained the services of some Onion and Clickhole Hall of Famers to pull this off.
I can't wait to show you what we have cooked up.
When in doubt, Matt Albers.
November 14, 2024 at 3:53 AM
When in doubt, Matt Albers.
Reposted by Texan Alex
God grant me the serenity to accept I am cooked,
The courage to say fuck it we ball,
And the wisdom to know when we are so back
The courage to say fuck it we ball,
And the wisdom to know when we are so back
November 11, 2024 at 2:24 AM
God grant me the serenity to accept I am cooked,
The courage to say fuck it we ball,
And the wisdom to know when we are so back
The courage to say fuck it we ball,
And the wisdom to know when we are so back
Reposted by Texan Alex
It is time for you to meet the coolest livestock judge in the world
November 12, 2024 at 11:01 PM
It is time for you to meet the coolest livestock judge in the world
Incredible.
I have a game. What were you "known" for on Twitter?
I'll go first. I'm the woman who caused Dave Ramsey to mass-block Royals Twitter.
I'll go first. I'm the woman who caused Dave Ramsey to mass-block Royals Twitter.
November 12, 2024 at 11:14 PM
Incredible.
Attn Astros fans, looks like the Canberra Calvary is our ABL team this winter. theabl.com.au/news/astrosc...
Houston Astros to send two prospects to Canberra Cavalry for ABL Season 2024-25 | theABL.com.au
The Australian Baseball League is the only professional baseball league in Australia, relaunched in 2010. 호주 프로야구
theabl.com.au
November 12, 2024 at 3:28 PM
Attn Astros fans, looks like the Canberra Calvary is our ABL team this winter. theabl.com.au/news/astrosc...
Reposted by Texan Alex
Bring back Tal's Hill.
Maybe hard to believe that just eight years ago there was a hill in CF in Houston with a 30° incline and a freaking flagpole on top of it (on the field and in play!) but there is video evidence.
November 12, 2024 at 2:36 PM
Bring back Tal's Hill.
Reposted by Texan Alex
Bluesky needs a 30-50 feral hogs moment
November 11, 2024 at 12:07 AM
Bluesky needs a 30-50 feral hogs moment
Reposted by Texan Alex
Eric Adams is amazing because when he won every media person was leaping over each to go “this is the normal sane leadership that the political left doesn’t understand normal sane Americans crave” and then every day since that Eric Adams has been like “Leprechauns are real and I’m going to cook one”
August 14, 2023 at 4:43 PM
Eric Adams is amazing because when he won every media person was leaping over each to go “this is the normal sane leadership that the political left doesn’t understand normal sane Americans crave” and then every day since that Eric Adams has been like “Leprechauns are real and I’m going to cook one”
Reposted by Texan Alex
Prime Time Games are the Texans’ kryptonite. Like home games in October for the Astros
November 11, 2024 at 4:37 AM
Prime Time Games are the Texans’ kryptonite. Like home games in October for the Astros
Call me crazy but the Astros should kick the tires on Yoán Moncada.
November 8, 2024 at 5:09 AM
Call me crazy but the Astros should kick the tires on Yoán Moncada.
So, how are we doing on THIS app?
November 7, 2024 at 12:19 AM
So, how are we doing on THIS app?
Buzz, your no. 1-ranked football team, woof.
October 20, 2024 at 1:26 AM
Buzz, your no. 1-ranked football team, woof.