The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
@spider-malk.bsky.social
Movie bloke. Metal bloke. Suspiciously well-written tool of Deep Woke. Weekly Wackadoo.
38, he/him, Scotland
38, he/him, Scotland
Pinned
Hmm. Weird.
Every good Star Wars movie (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Rogue One, Solo) was directed by a first-time-SW-director.
The only poor ones (1-3, 9) were also the only returnee directors - Lucas & Abrams, who both nailed their first one.
Not going anywhere with this, just something that occurred to me.
Every good Star Wars movie (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Rogue One, Solo) was directed by a first-time-SW-director.
The only poor ones (1-3, 9) were also the only returnee directors - Lucas & Abrams, who both nailed their first one.
Not going anywhere with this, just something that occurred to me.
December 10, 2025 at 1:35 PM
Hmm. Weird.
Every good Star Wars movie (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Rogue One, Solo) was directed by a first-time-SW-director.
The only poor ones (1-3, 9) were also the only returnee directors - Lucas & Abrams, who both nailed their first one.
Not going anywhere with this, just something that occurred to me.
Every good Star Wars movie (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, Rogue One, Solo) was directed by a first-time-SW-director.
The only poor ones (1-3, 9) were also the only returnee directors - Lucas & Abrams, who both nailed their first one.
Not going anywhere with this, just something that occurred to me.
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
Through dangers* untold, and hardships** unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle*** beyond the Goblin City**** to take back the child***** that you have stolen******
*Wind
**Rain
***Aldi
****Tube station
*****Delicious chocolate
******Offered for sale
*Wind
**Rain
***Aldi
****Tube station
*****Delicious chocolate
******Offered for sale
November 22, 2025 at 2:01 PM
Through dangers* untold, and hardships** unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle*** beyond the Goblin City**** to take back the child***** that you have stolen******
*Wind
**Rain
***Aldi
****Tube station
*****Delicious chocolate
******Offered for sale
*Wind
**Rain
***Aldi
****Tube station
*****Delicious chocolate
******Offered for sale
The Running Man (2025): The action is superb, the actors all do a great job, the dystopia feels all-too-real but that's not the movie's fault. A very different beast to the Arnie one (as it should be). Edgar Wright continues his unbroken run of bangers.
November 20, 2025 at 10:48 PM
The Running Man (2025): The action is superb, the actors all do a great job, the dystopia feels all-too-real but that's not the movie's fault. A very different beast to the Arnie one (as it should be). Edgar Wright continues his unbroken run of bangers.
[openly weeps in Star Wars Fan, The Final Boss Of This Kinda Thing]
Don't judge a piece of media based on it's fandom, you could be missing out on something awesome. And also, it kinda sucks to punish the creators for something they poured their hearts into just because the fans are nuts.
November 18, 2025 at 7:17 AM
[openly weeps in Star Wars Fan, The Final Boss Of This Kinda Thing]
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One of my favourite movies genres is 'absolutely pissing it down.'
November 15, 2025 at 9:49 PM
One of my favourite movies genres is 'absolutely pissing it down.'
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florence pew: thread
November 15, 2025 at 2:25 AM
florence pew: thread
Ma boi Spyro.
If you could choose one video game character to bring into the real world as your own personal bodyguard, who would it be?
November 13, 2025 at 6:36 AM
Ma boi Spyro.
The full context of this is also funny, but please do take a minute to enjoy this sentence in isolation. I very nearly spat my coffee all over my laptop.
my mother's hearing aid has broken the doorbell
November 12, 2025 at 10:18 AM
The full context of this is also funny, but please do take a minute to enjoy this sentence in isolation. I very nearly spat my coffee all over my laptop.
There will come a day when I remember to take my glasses off before opening the oven door...
November 10, 2025 at 5:32 PM
There will come a day when I remember to take my glasses off before opening the oven door...
Predator: Badlands (2025): This one is way more of an action/adventure flick than any of the previous installments, and making the Predator the hero is certainly a departure, but if you can't try something new in the ninth installment, when can you?
November 9, 2025 at 10:23 PM
Predator: Badlands (2025): This one is way more of an action/adventure flick than any of the previous installments, and making the Predator the hero is certainly a departure, but if you can't try something new in the ninth installment, when can you?
[puts face through wall]
Funny Coca-Cola meme that was apparently spotted on LinkedIn
November 8, 2025 at 6:16 PM
[puts face through wall]
Jurassic World Rebirth (2025): The plot and dialogue are as dumb as any of the sequels have ever been, but it's more than made up for with the best dino-action set-pieces since the Spielberg days. Still not a patch on the perfect original, but a worthy couple of hours of dinosaur fun.
November 8, 2025 at 5:40 PM
Jurassic World Rebirth (2025): The plot and dialogue are as dumb as any of the sequels have ever been, but it's more than made up for with the best dino-action set-pieces since the Spielberg days. Still not a patch on the perfect original, but a worthy couple of hours of dinosaur fun.
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I've seen that fucking godawful AI Coca-Cola ad now and I'm fuming.
November 8, 2025 at 9:05 AM
I've seen that fucking godawful AI Coca-Cola ad now and I'm fuming.
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Frankenstein (2025): Quite possibly the definitive* adaptation of one of the best books ever written. Gorgeous visuals, superb performances, more haunting than "scary", which is just as true of the novel. One of GDT's finest, and that's saying something.
November 7, 2025 at 12:53 PM
Frankenstein (2025): Quite possibly the definitive* adaptation of one of the best books ever written. Gorgeous visuals, superb performances, more haunting than "scary", which is just as true of the novel. One of GDT's finest, and that's saying something.
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when will a frankenstein movie be brave enough to let us see the doctor choosing the dick
November 7, 2025 at 9:40 AM
when will a frankenstein movie be brave enough to let us see the doctor choosing the dick
I feel the urge to clarify: this is about the Captain America/Black Panther game. I couldn't care less about GTA.
So I feel like my response to "that game you fancy has been delayed" should be "DAMMIT" and not "ah sweet, that kicks an expense further down the road."
Am... am I broken?
Am... am I broken?
November 7, 2025 at 10:46 AM
I feel the urge to clarify: this is about the Captain America/Black Panther game. I couldn't care less about GTA.
Reposted by The Spectacular Spider-Malk 🏴🇪🇺🏳️🌈🇵🇸
I wouldn't recommend doing that
November 6, 2025 at 9:59 PM
I wouldn't recommend doing that
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Not this month, he's not
November 6, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Not this month, he's not
So I feel like my response to "that game you fancy has been delayed" should be "DAMMIT" and not "ah sweet, that kicks an expense further down the road."
Am... am I broken?
Am... am I broken?
November 6, 2025 at 10:07 PM
So I feel like my response to "that game you fancy has been delayed" should be "DAMMIT" and not "ah sweet, that kicks an expense further down the road."
Am... am I broken?
Am... am I broken?
Excellent points made here, folks
The fifth(?) version of Star Trek 4 finally being killed and the Kelvinverse crew being benched is one of those depressingly stark moments where you realise that the entire franchise is, in some ways, a Kobyashi Maru scenario.
November 6, 2025 at 11:34 AM
Excellent points made here, folks
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